Can I buy a vowel?

In Middleton, Pa. students opened their yearbooks to find that a handy dandy computer function called "spell checker" had given them new names.

Middletown Area High School's yearbook listed Max Zupanovic as "Max Supernova," Kathy Carbaugh as "Kathy Airbag" and Alessandra Ippolito as "Alexandria Impolite," just to name a few.

The company that printed the yearbook said it was their fault and that they would give stickers with the correct spellings.

Yeah! Stickers! I love stickers!

Oh, and then he calls out yearbooks everywhere.

"It happens all the time, every year," Ed Patrick said. "Look at any yearbook in the country."

High school is supposed to be the best time of my life! Now I'm remembered as an Airbag! Thanks jerk!

In other news, police in Arvada, Colo. are searching for two men who robbed a convenience store. The best part, for masks they wore women's thong underwear. Hold up! Pause right there! What? And why?

Well here is how it went down...

Guy 1: Are you ready to do this?!?! We're going in now!

Guy 2: Wait, I forgot our clown masks in the car!

Guy 1: Man! We spent 12 dollars and 32 cents on those. And they were gonna look SO cool. What are we gonna do now?

Guy 2: Well, there is a laundry mat next door. We could find something in there to cover our faces.

Guy 1: Like dryer lent!

Guy 2: Or, maybe a t-shirt...

Guy 1: Oh.

Inside the laundry mat:

Guy 1: How about these? They look like masks.

Guy 2: That's a pair of briefs! And they're stained! No way.

Guy 1: Then lets just go with these thongs.

Leaving the store:

Guy 2: Thong, thong, thong thong thong. Oh yeah...

Guy 1: Shut up Sisco. Just drive!