July 13, 2008

Other people that should have quit when they were ahead...

In honor of Brett Favre un-retiring, and jerking his team around like a self-esteem shattered girlfriend, I've decided to come up with a list of people that should have quit when they were ahead...

1. Napoleon
You had almost all of Europe under control and then you decided to invade Russia. Had you ever looked at a map before invading Russia? That place isn't your normal Austria or Hungry establishment, it's freakin' gigantic and it stretches over Asia. Good call on that one.

2. Ralph Nader
No, you don't get to turn the 1.5 percent of the vote into Chucky Cheese's for prizes. Sorry.

3. Cuba Gooding Jr.
Hanes commercials playing second fiddle to Michael Jordan. Remember when you were Radio?

4. The University of Idaho Football Program
Just give it up already and switch the WCC conference.

5. Adam Morrison's Moustache
Really should have quit that a long time ago, like when it reached it's peak furry-ness at about age 11.

6. The Chicago Cubs
And we all thought Boston Red Sox fans had it bad. If you want to go back to good times at Wrigley, be prepared to start saying things like "I Like Ike" and "You're a square bear."

7. Will Ferrel
Could have done with Anchorman 3, Will, you're not fooling us by changing the theme and putting a different title on it.

8. Jose Conseco
But instead you went ahead and got the crap punched out of you in a celebrity boxing match. Wow, the twilight of your career has really taken on the same arc as ambassadors of the game such as Mark McGuire, Pete Rose and Bill Buckner.

9. Michael Jordan
Washington Wizards... nuff said.

10. Michael Jordan
Exec of the Charlotte Bobcats, with worse talent-seeking skills than Isiah Thomas. Nuff Said.

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