Other people that should get their own muppets

Kobe Bryant and Lebron have their own muppets, what's stopping other people from getting their own commercial muppets?

(And by the way, I still can't get over how Kobe's muppet looks nothing like him and doesn't sound like him at all. It's not even wearing a Lakers jerseys)

1. Jonathan Papelbon - Not only could it dance to Flogging Molly but it could also strike out muppet A-rod, which would actually just be a sack of crap on a stick.

2. Stephon Marbury - Steve and Barry's may have gone out of business but their pitchman lives on since he has his no defunct shoe logo tatooed on his skull. A muppet of equal craziness has to be made. Although somebody should probably put a tracking device on the thing so it doesn't go bat crazy and start ripping people's throats out.

3. Adam Morrison - You wouldn't see this muppet out on an NBA court though.

4. Mark Few - Actually, the real life Mark Few is about the size of a muppet.

5. Jose Conseco - It could just walk around accusing everyone of steroid use, and it's crowning moment would be when it outed the Olson Twins for using PEDs.

6. Pacman Jones - Muppet strippers are much cheaper than real strippers.

7. Peyton Manning - with a permenant "Manning Face" ... thank you Bill Simmons for coining that term.

8. "Press Box Hot" Female - it doesn't take much to make a homely muppet right? Thank you Bill Simmons for coining the term press box hot.

9. Casey Knopik - This strange little muppet would chase around squirrels and hike up muppet sized mountians. Which are actually just large trash cans covered in felt.

10. Katy Perry - Is it possible they could give her more cleavage than the real life Katy Pery in her Vegas song music video?

What would give GMs an instant heart attack

Strangely, Boston Celtics GM Danny Ainge suffered a minor heart attack the same day that it was announced that Kevin Garnett will not be playing for the Celts in the postseason.

Coincidence? Yeah probably.

However, it does bring up an interesting question, what sports disaster would be big enough to cause a GM to have a heart attack?

1. "Congrats! Isiah Thomas is now the coach of your basketball team. (Sorry Florida International)"

2. "Stephon Marbury will be playing for your already cohesive team despite his prior track record of being a selfish ball-hog. (Wait, this already happen to Ainge)"

3. "The team has been sold to George Steinbrenner and he's decided to keep you on as GM. But if you don't win a World Series, he's killing you and your family."

4. "Guess what? We're moving the team to Salt Lake City!"

5. "We actually traded your draft picks for the rights to a Broadway Musical. Something called "Disney's High School Musical."

6. "Hope you like Latrell Spreewell"

7. "Well, I was kind of hoping to cut payroll below what he Kansas City Royals are spending on their team."

8. "Hmmm, well lets just say last night was bad. It involved a mirror, A-Rod, some questionably attractive Canadian Mounties and a lightbulb. Have fun with that in the media."

9. "So what's it like being the GM of the Oakland Raiders?"

10. "Meet our new PR guy, Jose Conseco!"

Other people that should have quit when they were ahead...

In honor of Brett Favre un-retiring, and jerking his team around like a self-esteem shattered girlfriend, I've decided to come up with a list of people that should have quit when they were ahead...

1. Napoleon
You had almost all of Europe under control and then you decided to invade Russia. Had you ever looked at a map before invading Russia? That place isn't your normal Austria or Hungry establishment, it's freakin' gigantic and it stretches over Asia. Good call on that one.

2. Ralph Nader
No, you don't get to turn the 1.5 percent of the vote into Chucky Cheese's for prizes. Sorry.

3. Cuba Gooding Jr.
Hanes commercials playing second fiddle to Michael Jordan. Remember when you were Radio?

4. The University of Idaho Football Program
Just give it up already and switch the WCC conference.

5. Adam Morrison's Moustache
Really should have quit that a long time ago, like when it reached it's peak furry-ness at about age 11.

6. The Chicago Cubs
And we all thought Boston Red Sox fans had it bad. If you want to go back to good times at Wrigley, be prepared to start saying things like "I Like Ike" and "You're a square bear."

7. Will Ferrel
Could have done with Anchorman 3, Will, you're not fooling us by changing the theme and putting a different title on it.

8. Jose Conseco
But instead you went ahead and got the crap punched out of you in a celebrity boxing match. Wow, the twilight of your career has really taken on the same arc as ambassadors of the game such as Mark McGuire, Pete Rose and Bill Buckner.

9. Michael Jordan
Washington Wizards... nuff said.

10. Michael Jordan
Exec of the Charlotte Bobcats, with worse talent-seeking skills than Isiah Thomas. Nuff Said.