Other people that should get their own muppets

Kobe Bryant and Lebron have their own muppets, what's stopping other people from getting their own commercial muppets?

(And by the way, I still can't get over how Kobe's muppet looks nothing like him and doesn't sound like him at all. It's not even wearing a Lakers jerseys)

1. Jonathan Papelbon - Not only could it dance to Flogging Molly but it could also strike out muppet A-rod, which would actually just be a sack of crap on a stick.

2. Stephon Marbury - Steve and Barry's may have gone out of business but their pitchman lives on since he has his no defunct shoe logo tatooed on his skull. A muppet of equal craziness has to be made. Although somebody should probably put a tracking device on the thing so it doesn't go bat crazy and start ripping people's throats out.

3. Adam Morrison - You wouldn't see this muppet out on an NBA court though.

4. Mark Few - Actually, the real life Mark Few is about the size of a muppet.

5. Jose Conseco - It could just walk around accusing everyone of steroid use, and it's crowning moment would be when it outed the Olson Twins for using PEDs.

6. Pacman Jones - Muppet strippers are much cheaper than real strippers.

7. Peyton Manning - with a permenant "Manning Face" ... thank you Bill Simmons for coining that term.

8. "Press Box Hot" Female - it doesn't take much to make a homely muppet right? Thank you Bill Simmons for coining the term press box hot.

9. Casey Knopik - This strange little muppet would chase around squirrels and hike up muppet sized mountians. Which are actually just large trash cans covered in felt.

10. Katy Perry - Is it possible they could give her more cleavage than the real life Katy Pery in her Vegas song music video?

What would give GMs an instant heart attack

Strangely, Boston Celtics GM Danny Ainge suffered a minor heart attack the same day that it was announced that Kevin Garnett will not be playing for the Celts in the postseason.

Coincidence? Yeah probably.

However, it does bring up an interesting question, what sports disaster would be big enough to cause a GM to have a heart attack?

1. "Congrats! Isiah Thomas is now the coach of your basketball team. (Sorry Florida International)"

2. "Stephon Marbury will be playing for your already cohesive team despite his prior track record of being a selfish ball-hog. (Wait, this already happen to Ainge)"

3. "The team has been sold to George Steinbrenner and he's decided to keep you on as GM. But if you don't win a World Series, he's killing you and your family."

4. "Guess what? We're moving the team to Salt Lake City!"

5. "We actually traded your draft picks for the rights to a Broadway Musical. Something called "Disney's High School Musical."

6. "Hope you like Latrell Spreewell"

7. "Well, I was kind of hoping to cut payroll below what he Kansas City Royals are spending on their team."

8. "Hmmm, well lets just say last night was bad. It involved a mirror, A-Rod, some questionably attractive Canadian Mounties and a lightbulb. Have fun with that in the media."

9. "So what's it like being the GM of the Oakland Raiders?"

10. "Meet our new PR guy, Jose Conseco!"

Whitworth in Championship Game

Couldn't wait until Wednesday to update everyone on this one. The Whitworth Pirates will be playing for the NWC Championship tomorrow and an automatic berth in the NCAA Div. III Tournament.

The Pirates finished the regular season in second place of the conference with a record of 21-5, and the first place team just so happens to be the same squad they're playing in the championship game, Puget Sound, who has a sparkling 24-2 record. Game time is Saturday in Puget Sound's house, at 7 p.m.

You can find all the info of the game here.

Whitworth got to that game after a win over Linfield 74-66 in the quarterfinals of the NWC tournament, led by junior post Nate Montgomery who had career highs of 31 points, 14 rebounds and SIX blocked shots.

Apparently he was doing his best Wilt Chamberlain impression. Holy crap that's an insane performance. Which is why I've come up with a list of nicknames for Nate:

Nate "Tyler Hansbrough is a pansy" Montgomery
Nate "Remember that British General in WWII named" Montgomery
Nate "He Nate Me" Montgomery
Nate "Yeah, I've blocked six shots before in a game" Montgomery
Nate "I'm not Stephon Marbury" Montgomery
Nate "Stimulus Plan" Montgomery

Okay, please dont hate me Whitworth fans.

The worst jobs in sports

Working in sports is great. Instead of going to an office everyday you're going to the stadium and you're always in the limelight. However, there are some positions that you should just never take in this industry.

Youth Sports Officials - Okay, think of the worst berating a professional official has every received. Times that by 10, multiply the people doing it by about 30 and you pretty much have the atmosphere of a youth sporting event. Sports parents are the worst human beings on the face of the planet and guess who they love to hate.

Stephon Marbury's Therapist - Boy, you have fun trying to dig through that brain of his.

Crowd Control Management for Santa Clara - I don't know if you watched the Gonzaga-SC game last night but fans threw stuff onto the court, ON TWO SEPERATE OCCASIONS, causing technicals to be called and pretty much swinging the momentum of the game towards the Zags favor. Here's what the Broncos head coach had to say:

Santa Clara coach Kerry Keating implored to crowd to refrain from throwing objects, but later in the game, his team was hit with another technical when another object was thrown from the stands. Bouldin made two more free throws.

"That's not fair to our guys," Keating said of the fan or fans who threw the objects. "It's not fair to everyone in the gym who's there to watch a game in a great environment."Whoever it was, I hope they understand that they hurt our team tonight."

Bravo crowd control.

Arizona's assistant coach that focuses on defense

Now I bet you're wondering why I'm mentioning all these college basketball games. Simple. Last night was an amazing night for college basketball. Anyways, WSU defeated the Wildcats last night 69-53 in a fun game for Cougar fans but if you were from Arizona you cringed everytime a Coug player was left wide open or allowed to drive to the basket.

They stood around more than county road workers on the clock. But hey, maybe they wanted to keep WSU's postseason hopes alive.

That guy that always brings out the stools for WSU players to sit on during timeouts

Every timeout. This guy waddles out there with these fold out stools under his arms and sets them out for all the players. They get done with the time out and he has to fold them back up and retreat to his position ready to unfold at a whistles notice.

Really? A chair folder? That's like one step below the guy who squirts the water bottle into each individual athletes mouth.

But hey, he's more active during a basketball game than Shaq.

The Los Angeles Clippers Championship Parade planner

Haven't really had a whole lot to do...

Holiday Cards from Sports Celebs!

As much as we love Sean Avery around here at Just South of North, not for making his sloppy seconds comment, but for really pissing off Joel Willits of FishBear Sports. Something tells me Avery would have made a nice addition to the Tri-City Americans.

Who's that guy sitting next to the left of Lebron? McLovin? This card will probably be sent to Cleveland's front office. Merry Christmas 2010!

Dana Jacobson, kicking butt at college parties since 2007.

I own the $15 shoes but not the $150 shoes. I would imagine Lebron would send this to Stephon.

I know... I'm totally making fun of somebody with diabetes. Way too far.