Things I'd rather have than Clipper Tickets

1. A mutant form of the Swine Flu that has fused itself with an STD.
2. Joba Chamberlains Meth-addicted mom as a roommate.
3. Knuckle hair. Lots of it.
4. A malfunction on my television that only allows me to watch the Canadian Broadcasting Network.
5. Large child-bearing hips.

Or what do you think? Should I break down and become a Clippers fan?

JustSON the Numbers: NBA #1 Picks

Since the Los Angeles Clippers were the winner of the NBA draft lottery last night I thought today would be a good time to look into how every #1 overall draft pick has fared in the Association since the beginning of the lottery back in 1985.

Locking down the number 1 overall pick in the NBA draft doesn't always mean you are getting a superstar, but it seems more of a sure thing than at least the NFL draft. So far two players since the '85 draft have been elected to the Hall of Fame, Patrick Ewing and David Robinson, while a few others like Pervis Ellison, who only appeared in 474 games over 11 seasons (about 43 games a year out of 82 possible because of injury) and Danny Manning (883 games over 15 seasons, about 59 games a year because of injury) never really got going. Others like Michael Olowokandi and Kwame Brown never made a successful transition into the NBA and have struggled.

11 of the 24 (46%) 1st overall picks since '85 have gone on to win the Rookie of the Year award (or at least share it). Six times the 1st overall has won the MVP award (David Robinson, Shaquille O'Neal, Allen Iverson, Tim Duncan twice and this year LeBron James), and 1st overall picks have netted 92 All-Star game appearances between them. Also 1st overall picks have been a part of 11 NBA Championship teams with 6 winning Finals MVP (Shaq 3 times and Tim Duncan 3 times).

Anymore in the NBA there doesn't seem to be any defined positions (Center, Power Forward, Small Forward, Shooting Guard, Point Guard), now it seems you have your Center/Power Forward position, Small Forward/Shooting Guard and Shooting Guard/Point Guard. I figured I would classify the players in the 3 previously mentioned categories because it isn't easy to define what position they were when they came into the league. Based on the 3 categories there have been 18 Center/Power Forwards drafted 1st overall since '85 with 4 being from the Small Forward/Shooting Guard mold and the other 2 being Shooting Guard/Point Guards.

With that being said it looks more and more likely that the Clippers will pick Blake Griffin with the first selection. This isn't good news for Griffin because the Clippers have a very bad history of lottery picks (Darius Miles, Benoit Benjamin, Yaroslav Korolev....exactly).

Either way it plays out the top pick is gonna get his shot because the Clippers need everything.

If anyone has any requests for this column let us know. I don't discriminate, no matter the sport or the stat.

Epic Haircut of Greatness

Alright, so the last time I had gotten a haircut was back at the middle of September. I had decided after that point to just let it go.

Well, after all those months of growing I decided it was time for the cutting. My fiance, my sister and mom (all the women in my life) had been bugging me for months and months to get it cut.

That's not why I decided it was time. There were two things that led to this decision.

1) The summer is coming and the weather is getting hotter. The last few hikes Jeff and I have done have been very warm. And my mop of hair made it seem like I was hiking with a baby sheep on my head. It was time for a summer haircut.

2) When I was standing on the sidewalk corner the other day waiting for the crosswalk light to change and a guy in a suit walked up next to me. When the light changed he looked at me, handed me a dollar and said, "Sorry you're down on your luck pal. Hang in there." It was time to not look homeless anymore.

So, here it is:





Now I can start growing it back out through winter. That, and the beard. Real mountain man style.

The worst jobs in sports

Working in sports is great. Instead of going to an office everyday you're going to the stadium and you're always in the limelight. However, there are some positions that you should just never take in this industry.

Youth Sports Officials - Okay, think of the worst berating a professional official has every received. Times that by 10, multiply the people doing it by about 30 and you pretty much have the atmosphere of a youth sporting event. Sports parents are the worst human beings on the face of the planet and guess who they love to hate.

Stephon Marbury's Therapist - Boy, you have fun trying to dig through that brain of his.

Crowd Control Management for Santa Clara - I don't know if you watched the Gonzaga-SC game last night but fans threw stuff onto the court, ON TWO SEPERATE OCCASIONS, causing technicals to be called and pretty much swinging the momentum of the game towards the Zags favor. Here's what the Broncos head coach had to say:

Santa Clara coach Kerry Keating implored to crowd to refrain from throwing objects, but later in the game, his team was hit with another technical when another object was thrown from the stands. Bouldin made two more free throws.

"That's not fair to our guys," Keating said of the fan or fans who threw the objects. "It's not fair to everyone in the gym who's there to watch a game in a great environment."Whoever it was, I hope they understand that they hurt our team tonight."

Bravo crowd control.

Arizona's assistant coach that focuses on defense

Now I bet you're wondering why I'm mentioning all these college basketball games. Simple. Last night was an amazing night for college basketball. Anyways, WSU defeated the Wildcats last night 69-53 in a fun game for Cougar fans but if you were from Arizona you cringed everytime a Coug player was left wide open or allowed to drive to the basket.

They stood around more than county road workers on the clock. But hey, maybe they wanted to keep WSU's postseason hopes alive.

That guy that always brings out the stools for WSU players to sit on during timeouts

Every timeout. This guy waddles out there with these fold out stools under his arms and sets them out for all the players. They get done with the time out and he has to fold them back up and retreat to his position ready to unfold at a whistles notice.

Really? A chair folder? That's like one step below the guy who squirts the water bottle into each individual athletes mouth.

But hey, he's more active during a basketball game than Shaq.

The Los Angeles Clippers Championship Parade planner

Haven't really had a whole lot to do...