How to get the Sounders FC on the winning track again

It's been a bit of a difficult run for the Sounders these past two weeks. First, they lost their first game of the season 1-0 to Kansas City at Qwest Field with Casey and I in attendance. In that game goalie Kasey Keller was given a red card, meaning that not only did the team have to play the rest (and majority) of the game one-man down, but he would also miss the next game.

Then yesterday without Keller they dropped their second match of the season to division-leading Chivas USA. Sounders FC star Fredy Montero missed an empty net shot at the beginning of the game, a miss that he admits changed the entire complexion of the match.

Now at 3-2, the Sounders have nine points and second place in the Western Conference. Not a bad spot, especially for an expansion team, but here's how they could get back to their winning ways...

1. Get Casey and I to play for the opposing team -
Casey played football, and I was scratched from one of my sixth-grade matches because I got my Velcro shoes all tangled up in the goal net. They had to cut me out.

2. Sign Youppi, the former mascot of the Montreal Expos - Not only is he an awesome mascot, but he also could add to the sex appeal to the team. What girl would not be taken aback by his rugged Canadian good looks.

3. Play against the Yankees - We're pretty sure they'd give up 22 goals in a soccer game too.

4. Get Sasquatch to play for the Sounders - Because what soccer player is going to say "You know what, I'll cover the hulking hairy mammoth that's known for eating livestock. Yep, that's me. No I'm not intimidated at all."

5. Employ the "Brandon Hansen playing FIFA 93 on the SNES" strategy - And slide tackle the hell out of everyone until they have to bring out the SNES Madden ambulance that runs over players standing out in the middle of the field.

So there you have it. Next up will the the San Jose Earthquakes at Qwest Field on April 25.