So my friend Alina likes vampires. She watches all the Underworld and has a bunch of other vampire movies that may or may not include very awkward love scenes.Her, along with plenty of other vampire-loving people are exactly the kind of audience that "Blade" was looking to grab when it was released Pre-Matrix in 1998.
And it hit an audience, grossing around $200 million worldwide and spawned two sequels.
Now I missed the Blade craze, but had a chance to see it the other night and was curious what all the fuss about this movie had been about.
Boy was I disappointed. This movie was a flaming pile of Wesley Snipes crap that makes me glad he's going to jail for tax evasion. How could Willie Mays Hays turn this into a two hour movie where he basically stares into the camera all the time making tough guy lines and flexing? Go back to stealing home base (oh wait, that was Omar Epps)
While the plot itself was decent, the execution of that plot was so one-tracked and heavy-handed that I thought for a second that I was watching the Emilo Estevez spoof of "Blade."
From now on when a baseball player looks too stiff out on the field because he's muscled up - i.e. anyone on HGH - I'm going to say he's pulling a Blade because that's basically what Snipes did through out this entire movie.
Underperformed and oversucked.
My score - 2/10. Movie count - three really bad CG body explosions, 40 times I laughed out loud during the serious parts of this movie, 15 times the handle trap on Blade's sword was suppose to go off but didn't just merely for plot advancement, 190 out of a 100: the unintentional comedy scale of Kris Kristofferson in this movie, 1 vampire rave that included blood raining from the ceiling, 1 performance enhancing drug scene, 0 appearances by Jose Conseco.
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