May 7, 2009

Things Brett Farve could do when he retires (again, for the third time)

1. Grow a neck beard, stumble around drunk in Mississippi, throw terrible wobbly passes and then yell "Look! I'm Kyle Orton!"

2. Pick on truck owners that don't have Chevy pickups as cool as his. "You forgot your man step. Oh yeah and you forgot to win a Super Bowl. Unlike me, want to kiss my ring?" But as an added twist to what Howie Long is doing right now, he also throws a football at their face.

3. Two words: Playboy Mansion.

4. Become a commentator where he spends every other sentence somehow referring back to his playing days. "Jay Cutler looks hurt on this play, but hey, did I tell you the time I played with my throwing arm amputated? Yeah those were the days! Cutler is a wuss."

5. Star in the movie "Firestorm 2" alongside Howie Long.

6. Punch Terry Bradshaw in the face and take his seat over in the FOX NFL Pregame show.

7. Run for President under the slogan "Hey, I can't keep unretiring from THIS job"

8. Open the "Brett Favre School for Children who want to read very really well and good" in Mississippi.

9. Not pull an O.J. Simpson.

10. Get a gig with the Home Shopping Network. Think about all of our moms that think Brett Favre is the sexiest man alive. Now imagine him pitching jewelry. That channel would absolutely clean up and if he got some of royalties he would be able to buy a chunk of the earth or maybe even clone himself. The possibilities are endless.

2 comments:

  1. I hope Favre plays with the Vikings, then he can terrorize the rest of the NFC North again.

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  2. Favre is one of the best quarterbacks of all time. Go team Favre!

    ReplyDelete