Favre vs. the Packers Epic Game Log

Since this was the biggest game ever played in the history of the NFL (according the ESPN) and will be remembered for years to come by the children of our children (or until next week), I decided to game log it. Please keep in mind I missed the first five minutes because I was picking up dinner at Arbys and they were handing out free samples meaning that every person above the age of 60 was leaching off the spoils of a crappy economy.

5:58 - I find it kind of ironic the Minnesota Vikings are sporting the throwback jerseys, and had the Favre been drafted by Vikings, he probably would have worn these jerseys.

(The Packers had throwback jerseys on too but nobody noticed because they haven't changed their jerseys since 1956)

6:01 - Signs that Brett Favre is your quarterback - you're going for it on fourth down in the first quarter.

6:03 - TOUCHDOWN FAVRE!

6:09 - TOUCHDOWN RODGERS! He's not kidding folks, he's come here to prove that even though he's the dopiest looking quarterback since Kerry Collin, he's not as bad as Kerry Collins.

6:15 - Why did the equipment manager get Favre a XXXL jersey that hangs at his knees? Is it kind of like since you're old you get a pass when you walk around the neighborhood in nothing but underwear.

6:24 - Love Minnesota fans, they packed the Metrodome and have been loud the entire time. They deserve a game like this.

6:27 - INT by Rodgers, he learned it from the best of them.

6:35 - Most terrifying sight for Packers fans - Brett Favre with feet set rifling a ball down field. The alternative - a run by Adrian Peterson. Yeah, not a good night for Green Bay.

6:39 - TOUCHDOWN FAVRE! 14-7 and then he gives a patented fist pump followed by a cut to a fan that looks to be either an extra from Conan the Barbarian or Brad Childress' brother that was raised in the wilderness.


6:47 - Green Bay head coach Mike McCarthy was just compared by the MNF booth to Marty Shottenhiemer. So in a game where Brett Favre is lighting up the scoreboard, the Packers' coach is compared to one of the most conservative coaches in NFL history. Not a good night.

6:50 - The Packers' Clay Matthews strips the ball and ran it back for a TD and throws it into the Minnesota crowd as an extra little FU for the crowd.

HALFTIME - and for an old fart like me, that means nap time.

7:24 - What does Green Bay need to do to stop Brett Favre? Stop the government from mailing his social security checks.

7:29 - Favre got so much time in the pocket, they cut to commercial and came back an he was still looking at his check-down options. He promptly scores for the Vikings and the Green Bay Police are officially driving around town looking for jumpers.

7:49 - Packers get stuffed in a goal-line stand, and now are officially in "Oh CRAP Mode!"

Now going the other way, Green Bay's new defensive scheme is "let the opposing team do whatever they want."

8:14 - Easy Jon Gruden, don't strain yourself praising Brett Favre.

8:19 - After getting sacked for a safety, and the Packers having throw the red flag just to get the safety instead of a fumble at the goaline, I think we can officially say they're having a bad night.

8:48 - That photo above is of Jared Allen, he likes to eat a lot. Mainly NFL QBs and probably a couple of small bears that stray to far from the wilderness.

8:51 - Packers do manage to make it a close 30-23 game, but the great onside kick is nullified by the fact that Green Bay couldn't make a clutch play to save its life.

"Brett Favre has beaten ever team in the NFL, the only player in history to do it" was said roughly 340 times during the post-game show.


8:53 - Akward hug moment between Favre and Donald Driver where Favre basically crushes Driver against his facemask. A little too emotional there bud.

8:55 - I'd like to close with saying that why the heck would Brett Favre want to retire? We all demonize him but No. 4 would be sitting on the couch right now if he had. Instead, he's on the top of the football world right now at 4-0.

Reasons why you're still single... Brett Favre jersey

Bet you these guys are reeealllyyyy happy they threw down a hundred bucks for these jerseys. Good for them.

Epic Photo: Why I'm glad I'm not a Packers fan

No explanation needed.

Things Brett Farve could do when he retires (again, for the third time)

1. Grow a neck beard, stumble around drunk in Mississippi, throw terrible wobbly passes and then yell "Look! I'm Kyle Orton!"

2. Pick on truck owners that don't have Chevy pickups as cool as his. "You forgot your man step. Oh yeah and you forgot to win a Super Bowl. Unlike me, want to kiss my ring?" But as an added twist to what Howie Long is doing right now, he also throws a football at their face.

3. Two words: Playboy Mansion.

4. Become a commentator where he spends every other sentence somehow referring back to his playing days. "Jay Cutler looks hurt on this play, but hey, did I tell you the time I played with my throwing arm amputated? Yeah those were the days! Cutler is a wuss."

5. Star in the movie "Firestorm 2" alongside Howie Long.

6. Punch Terry Bradshaw in the face and take his seat over in the FOX NFL Pregame show.

7. Run for President under the slogan "Hey, I can't keep unretiring from THIS job"

8. Open the "Brett Favre School for Children who want to read very really well and good" in Mississippi.

9. Not pull an O.J. Simpson.

10. Get a gig with the Home Shopping Network. Think about all of our moms that think Brett Favre is the sexiest man alive. Now imagine him pitching jewelry. That channel would absolutely clean up and if he got some of royalties he would be able to buy a chunk of the earth or maybe even clone himself. The possibilities are endless.

The wonders of paint. Brown grass? Clean it up.

Talk about "going green." In Perris, California, the town has decided that the best way to combat the foreclosing houses is to paint the town green. Well, the lawns anyway.

They have set aside over $2 million in funds to use an "environmentally friendly dye that lasts up to six months" to paint the grass a more appealing color in the hopes of selling the lots.

This got me thinking, what else could be fixed with a simple fixture like paint.

1. Want clean water just pour some bleach in it. No more algae.

2. Skin looking kinda pale, just paint it tan. (Wait, aren't those spray tans?)

3. Have an ugly neighbor? Just put a bag on their head and paint Jessica Alba on it.

4. If you need a cheap tuxedo, just get a shirt with a silkscreen print of one on it.

5. No bathing suit? No problem, just paint one.

6. Just paint over that bald spot. Goodbye male pattern baldness.

7. You're window overlook a garbage dump? Just paint a mountain scene over the window. Now it's like you live in the woods.

8. If your car is staring to look more the color of rust, just paint it. Like new.

You know it's cold when...

- The old-timers don't talk about "that winter in '54 that made this look like a tropical vacation."

- The weatherman says that we'll be warming up next week and the high tempretures are still a good ten to 15 degrees below freezing.

- Outside pets are picketing to be let inside.

- Inside pets are making fun of them.

- Fans at football stadiums are making snowmen in the seats where fans didn't show up.

- Suddenly luxury suites in those stadiums don't seem so evil.

- Every guy (and woman) in your town decides to start resembling Al Borland.

- Watching football games in sunny Florida makes you angry.

- So angry in fact that you hope that every warm weather team in the NFL loses in the playoffs (Why do you think the Packers, have such a large fan base? Because they're not pusses when it comes to snow).

- Canada asks the borders to be shut down because they're letting a cold draft in.

- Brett Farve decides to wear a sweatshirt.

- You start to envy fat people because they have more padding.

- You ask for your beer to be served "hot."

Not very thankful

I don't consider myself a very demanding fan.

When the Seattle Seahawks made the Super Bowl in 2005, I was just happy that they were there. Apparently the team and referees thought the same thing.

When the Red Sox got batted around by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in the ALCS, I couldn't get two angry since the team has had two World Series Championships since 2004.

The Cougs win the Apple Cup? Swell, they're not the worst team in college football. UW is.

WSU makes the NCAA Tournament in basketball? Everything after that is gravy.

The Titans lose their bid at 16-0? Oh well, they're still one hell of a team.

It's not that I don't live or die with every team. I want them to win and be successful but I understand that in order for sports to be interesting, teams are going to have good or bad years.

This year has definitely been a bad year for Seattle. But it's not your average "same ol' Seahawks" season (2-10 and last place in the NFC West). It seems that since I've started watching the Hawks, the seasons have gone like this...

(1) Seattle gets off to a hot start but nobody in the media notices them. Then as soon as somebody goes "here come the Seahawks" they fall apart and finish 8-8.

(2) In a weak NFC West, Seattle proves to be the most consistent and wins the division easily with a balanced offense and a stout defense. They do make in interesting though and prove themselves to be a "tweener" when it comes to good and great teams in the NFL.

(3) The Seahawks just suck.

I've been through the third option a couple of times, and the funny thing about that is you know after watching how the team plays in the first game of the season. I watched the Seahawks in their first game this year and was "man it's going to be one of those years."

6-10 would be amazing at this point, but what really strikes me as interesting and different from other "The Seahawks just suck" years is that there should be no reason why the Seahawks are this bad. When Rick Mirer is your quarterback you expect the worst.

But when you have a roster that improved over the offseason, that turns me into one of those fans that yells at the television everytime a play doesn't game 30 yards. You know those guys, yeah, they're called Green Bay Packer fans.

Sure their receiver corp went through tryouts for the new "Final Destination" movie and Matt Hasselbeck's back decided to liquefy but what happened to that improved running game and the defense?

I mean if the Hawks could win a playoff game with a running back who fell down when somebody sneezed on him - they only had to get better with Duckett and Jones.

This season is different because for the first time while watching the Seahawks, I'm extremely disappointed. Throughout their history, Seattle has never done this to me.

They've been crappy, but there wasn't expectations to win 10 games either.

They've been good and lost late in the season, but any trip to the postseason is something I consider to be a success.

They've never had a roster with this much talent and under achieved sooo much. I know in the early 90s they had an awesome defense and terrible offense, but at least one unit on the team was doing well. When it comes to the 2008 Seahawks, nothing is clicking anywhere.

And what frustrates me the most is that there is no way I can put my finger on why they're so bad. How did this happen?

I'm going to label this season under the "date you get with the hot girl that turns out to be terrible when you realize she actually has a small wispy moustache."

Disappointing.

Epic Photo: At least he isn't wearing a fur coat

God, this is weird.

Brett Favre on the New York Jets? This is like when you go back to your hometown and they've torn down a familiar building and put up a Starbucks.

I don't know if there's anyone I can be mad at in this situation. Brett Favre retired and then decided he wanted to come back and play (hey, Michael Jordan did it twice). The Green Bay Packers had to rebuild for the future sometime and we're probably tired of getting jerked around each season with retirement talk from Favre and then having him come back. They drafted Aaron Rogers for a reason and need to get the ball moving on that era.

You coach, run and draft for your team with a plan in mind and the Packers have been in limbo for a couple of years. So even if you're a Favre fan you've got to understand where they're coming from.

However, could they have handled it differently? Sure. So could Favre.

But they both stared each other in the eye until somebody finally blinked. Who blinked is still up to interpretation, though.

You've got to love that Favre still wants to play, although if any other player pulled this, he'd probably get torn apart by the media. I just hope this doesn't become...

Johnny Unitas to the San Diego Chargers
Jerry Rice to the Seattle Seahawks
Emmit Smith in Arizona
Michael Jordan in Washington (oh yeah, I went there)

This may end up being like Joe Montana in Kansas City, which wasn't a complete bust and does nothing to tarnish his legacy.

However with the Packer gold gone from Favre's jersey, I would dare say that has already happen to some extent.