Chris Johnson to race Usain Bolt?

This is a throwback to the Wide World of Sports on ABC, but that Tennessee Titans running back that torched everyone this season for over 2,000 yards might race the world's best runner, Usain Bolt.

Chris Johnson the sixth NFL player to rush for more than 2,000 yards.

But how would he fare on a running track, without a helmet and pads, against the world's fastest man?
We just might find out.

Sources close to the situation told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter that representatives for the Titans running back and Olympic champion Usain Bolt of Jamaica have spent recent days trying to set up a race between the two men to determine who really is the world's fastest human.

The race would be used to raise money for charity.

But Bolt's agent, Ricky Simms, told Universal Sports.com that there was no truth to the report.

"Usain doesn't follow the NFL too closely and is not really familiar with all of the players. He likes [international] football and cricket," Simms said, according to the report. "But more importantly, he has a schedule and a coach to follow and there is no chance that we would set up this type of event."

Something tells me the reason that ESPN is reporting on this is that they'd probably be the ones that would run the race on television and you know what a bunch of self-promoters they are. But whatever, I'd watch it.

Bolt's comments are funny though, apparently he's too busy for the NFL... you know, the most famous sports league on earth? And he's too busy to run a single race against Johnson during an off Olympic year for him? Riiiiiiiight.

Epic Photo: Well, this is ironic.

And oh, so funny.

From College Humor.

The legal problems have not distracted Big Ben

I'm not going to try and analyze the first game of the season and try to come up with some all-encompassing statement. And I'm not going to rant about how much the Steelers always have a game like this (playing good jussst enough to win).

Instead, I'm going to do the progressive thing and mention the things I'm doing to erase the 13-10 overtime loss by the Tennessee Titans from the backside of my skull.

1. Cribbage It's a wonderful card game that old people and single men play. I'm single, therefore, I play cribbage.

2. Watching the Dark Knight and swearing that it's actually Stephon Marbury playing the mentally unstable, destructive Joker.

3. Drinking lots of beer with Diana Taurasi. What could possibly go wrong?

Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow?

1. Stomping on terrible towels.

2. Making bad and inappropriate jokes about Big Ben's current legal situation.

3. Wearing my Titans gear, complete with a very interesting set of socks. (Coming up next on "Reasons why you're still single...)

4. Writing my 500-page book about how the 1970s Pittsburgh Steelers were on 'roids.

5. Debating whether or not I want to name my first child LenDale White Hansen or Michael Roos Hansen ... or Rodney Stuckey Hansen. It's a toss up.

6. Throw Busch Light cans every time they flash the Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl wins graphic.

7. Watch TITANS-STEELERS, Thursday night, NBC.

Reasons why you're still single... Madden 10 freakout

After purchasing the Wii version of Madden 10, you almost throw the thing away in a fit of tears after your inability to find the "Franchise Mode" on the game. However after a quick search on Google, you discover that it needs to be unlocked (super lame) by playing the game.

And in true douche form, instead of taking the challenge and trying to unlock Franchise Mode, you just take the cheat codes off the Internet and have now started a franchise with the Tennessee Titans. Anyone want Vince Young?

Losing a hero

When Michael Jackson died, I thought to myself "what do you expect, the guy had tons of issues" and it really had no emotional impact on me whatsoever.

Steve McNair's death is a completely different animal though, because here is a guy that I looked up to for a large majority of my childhood. Here was the leader of the Tennessee Titans (my favorite team), here was a guy that came from a modest beginning at Alcorn State, here was a guy that never gave up even when his body betrayed him.

I remember him willing the Titans to within a yard of the endzone in the Super Bowl. I remember him playing with injuries far numerous to list. I remember him being the reason Tennessee was one of the most sucessful franchises in this decade.

And he's gone, at age 36.

Since the full details haven't come out, nor do I expect them to - I can't really comment on that, but what I can write about is just what it has felt like the past two days.

I got a text from my friend Joel, and at first I didn't believe him. Namely because shooting deaths feel like they'd be largely reserved to someone that was involved in the wrong people. Not somebody like Steve McNair, who seemed like he was a champion of the community and by all accounts, a very nice guy.

Air McNair? Dead? Is this a hoax?

Once I confirmed it, I still was in shock. I have two pieces of memorabilia sitting in my room right now with Steve McNair on it. When I got home and saw those, all I could think about was the shooting death. It was senseless and tragic. It sucked. Plain and simple.

And that's the weird thing about us, we tend to put people in high esteem that are athletes, actors and leaders. Even though their just as human and mortal as us. When they die, we're supposed to be stunned even though that's basically the fate of everyone. Unlike our religious convictions, our heroes are very fragile and can be gone in a blink of an eye.

We lost a hero on July 4. His name was Steve McNair.

Links! Links! Links!

I usually consider myself a person that is in some control of their emotions. The only time (injury, emotionally crushing breakup or death of a relative aside) I've cried has been:

- The Tennessee Titans were bounced by the Baltimore Ravens in the 2000 NFL playoffs.
- 9/11
- Watching Million Dollar Baby, but if you didn't cry during that movie, you have no soul and you should have just gone across the hall and watched Passion of the Christ. If that movie didn't make you cry, than you're probably a robot.
- The first time I listened to Kelly Clarkston's life-changing music.
- The Tennessee Titans losing in 2002 to the Oakland Raiders in the AFC Championship.
-Yankee Aaron Boone's walkoff homer to defeat the Boston Red Sox in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS, after fighting with my "Yankee" fan roommate to watch the game instead of "Friends." (Do I really need to explain why I hate Yankee fans or should I bring up the story again when a Yankee fan told me that the 2004 World Series Championship didn't count because they didn't beat New York in the Series... which would be impossible since both teams are in the American League. Don't get me started, don't get me started.)
- Tears of joy winning the 2006 Best of Show at the ACP National Convention in Portland. National Championship for Eastern Washington University.
- The Tennessee Titans losing to the Baltimore Ravens in the 2009 playoffs. WHY?!?!?!

But for some reason, I nearly lost it at work today, reading a Bill Simmons article of all things. Mostly known for his humor articles and "blogging" (Thanks Rick "I don't write anything more than 800 words Reilly), he wrote an article about the death of his dog. And it's a tear jerker. No idea why, but if that doesn't tug at your heartstrings, you shouldn't be allowed to have kids.

Luckily, a story about how tough it is to find a gas station in Tok, Alaska cheered me up. Basically, around those parts, don't let it drop below a quarter of a tank.

Joel Willits of FishBear Sports is also showing of a famous moustache. Check it out.

Former co-worker Lashonna McBride explains the beginning stages of dating, and I've just discovered that showing up to a date in a sweat suit is not reccomended.

And another Northwest politician has some scandal about the possiblility of an underaged love affair. Oh boy.

Alright, well I'm spent.

It's lamest time of the year... for the NFL

College football has shut down before it begins it's "Bowl Season" where almost half the mediocre teams in the nation can end their season on a positive note, leaving me without any real meaningful football to be played until the BCS National Championship Game and the NFL Playoffs.

This is still with a couple of games left in the regular season of the pros, but honestly I don't care what 8-8 or 9-7 sneaks into the playoffs, they'll more than likely get their butts handed to them.

Meanwhile the teams that are actually good have already clinched a playoff spot and are fighting for (yawn) home-field advantage. While this is important, probably more important than any other sport, we can expect to see quite a few letdowns by the better teams to either borderline playoff teams actually fighting for something, or really bad teams (other than the Raiders and Lions) looking for a chance to get some pride back. It's basically garbage time football for a few weeks since even if these better teams lose, it really doesn't matter because they'll be playing with a completely different mindset and a completely different intensity once the playoffs start.

And the NFL wants to ADD games? Really? Lets extend this pro football purgatory so I can watch the 5-9 San Francisco 49ers put the smackdown on a playoff team in a game that really doesn't meet anything. Swell! That would be entertaining.

Say what you will about the BCS, but every week in college football is compelling and pretty interesting because one loss can spell the difference between a national championship and playing in the Quizno's Sub Bowl.

Meanwhile in the NFL, I get to watch Seneca Wallace (who looks stoned, all the time) and the 2-11 Seahawks match up against the 2-11 St. Louis Rams with Stephen Jackson (who could probably eat an elephant if he wanted to) in front of roughly 20,000 fans. Whoop-de-do.

At least the Hawks won on a last second field goal, kind of made me forget about my beloved Titans pulling a patented playoff team letdown against the Houston Texans, who are a marginally good squad at 7-7.

Sure, I could have watched that thrilling Steelers-Ravens Game which ended in a 13-9 victory for Pittsburgh. But if I wanted to watch baseball I could watch the Dominican League, not two teams that are going to get knocked out by whatever AFC East and AFC South team they match up against in the playoffs.

(Also don't forget the "who's going to beat the Denver Broncos in the first round of the playoffs" sweepstakes, which should go to Indianapolis at this point.)

When does baseball season start up again?

Not very thankful

I don't consider myself a very demanding fan.

When the Seattle Seahawks made the Super Bowl in 2005, I was just happy that they were there. Apparently the team and referees thought the same thing.

When the Red Sox got batted around by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in the ALCS, I couldn't get two angry since the team has had two World Series Championships since 2004.

The Cougs win the Apple Cup? Swell, they're not the worst team in college football. UW is.

WSU makes the NCAA Tournament in basketball? Everything after that is gravy.

The Titans lose their bid at 16-0? Oh well, they're still one hell of a team.

It's not that I don't live or die with every team. I want them to win and be successful but I understand that in order for sports to be interesting, teams are going to have good or bad years.

This year has definitely been a bad year for Seattle. But it's not your average "same ol' Seahawks" season (2-10 and last place in the NFC West). It seems that since I've started watching the Hawks, the seasons have gone like this...

(1) Seattle gets off to a hot start but nobody in the media notices them. Then as soon as somebody goes "here come the Seahawks" they fall apart and finish 8-8.

(2) In a weak NFC West, Seattle proves to be the most consistent and wins the division easily with a balanced offense and a stout defense. They do make in interesting though and prove themselves to be a "tweener" when it comes to good and great teams in the NFL.

(3) The Seahawks just suck.

I've been through the third option a couple of times, and the funny thing about that is you know after watching how the team plays in the first game of the season. I watched the Seahawks in their first game this year and was "man it's going to be one of those years."

6-10 would be amazing at this point, but what really strikes me as interesting and different from other "The Seahawks just suck" years is that there should be no reason why the Seahawks are this bad. When Rick Mirer is your quarterback you expect the worst.

But when you have a roster that improved over the offseason, that turns me into one of those fans that yells at the television everytime a play doesn't game 30 yards. You know those guys, yeah, they're called Green Bay Packer fans.

Sure their receiver corp went through tryouts for the new "Final Destination" movie and Matt Hasselbeck's back decided to liquefy but what happened to that improved running game and the defense?

I mean if the Hawks could win a playoff game with a running back who fell down when somebody sneezed on him - they only had to get better with Duckett and Jones.

This season is different because for the first time while watching the Seahawks, I'm extremely disappointed. Throughout their history, Seattle has never done this to me.

They've been crappy, but there wasn't expectations to win 10 games either.

They've been good and lost late in the season, but any trip to the postseason is something I consider to be a success.

They've never had a roster with this much talent and under achieved sooo much. I know in the early 90s they had an awesome defense and terrible offense, but at least one unit on the team was doing well. When it comes to the 2008 Seahawks, nothing is clicking anywhere.

And what frustrates me the most is that there is no way I can put my finger on why they're so bad. How did this happen?

I'm going to label this season under the "date you get with the hot girl that turns out to be terrible when you realize she actually has a small wispy moustache."

Disappointing.

Titans win!

So while World Series is on hold due to rain, at least for now, I would like to take this time to rub the Titans' 31-21 victory over the Indianapolis Colts in Casey's face.

Actually that would be mean, so instead I'm going to talk about the team's odd rise to success.

It's called the Ewing Theory, you take away a much hyped young quarterback in Vince Young and put in grizzled veteran Kerry Collins and you have the Ewing Theory in a nutshell. Here's the official definition of it...

-A star athlete receives an inordinate amount of media attention and fan interest, and yet his teams never win anything substantial with him (other than maybe some early-round playoff series).

- That same athlete leaves his team (either by injury, trade, graduation, free agency or retirement) -- and both the media and fans immediately write off the team for the following season.

This is a clear cut case since Vince Young was given the moon after his Rose Bowl victory over USC. However, since coming into the pros his career has been less than spectacular. I'm surprised they didn't retire his number before he even started playing for the Titans. Young is a pouter though. Remember when he pouted because he didn't win the Heisman Trophy? Remember when he pouted when fans booed him and he had to be coaxed back into the game by Titans head coach Jeff Fisher? Remember when his mom came to the rescue during his recent stretch of mental direst? All pouting. Nobody wants to play for a guy like that.

Kerry Collins on the other, well I mean here is a guy that has had to battle back from the absolute depths of battling with alcoholism. Heck, he even got punched in the face for a racial slur he made against a teammate (he said that he meant it as a way to "bond" with teammates jokingly). After getting cut by the Carolina Panthers, playing one year with the New Orleans Saints and getting a second chance with the New York Giants, Collins led the G-men to a Super Bowl where they lost to the Ravens. It was one of those feel-good stories, except that if you look at old photos of Collins his long greasy hair makes you wince.

Then Collins dropped of the face of the earth again. The Giants weren't that good and neither was Collins. I remember watching MNF with my friend in a game that saw Collins lead a late-game drive to take the lead for New York. However, the Giants then gave up a touchdown that sent it to overtime and the camera cut to Colins who was sitting on the bench with a face that basically said...

"I have to go out there again and play?!?!"

The Giants lost that game. Collins then went to Oakland... ugh... and then signed with the Titans as sort of a vertan fill-in while the team brought along Vince Young.

Well so far thats panned out as well as a chocolate fountain at a Jenny Craig convention.


However, he's gotten a second... third, and fourth chance in Tennessee and its seems to be working so far, and Jeff Fisher is the kind of coach that can make this sort of move.

Heck, he survived the loss of Steve McNair and Eddie George, two staples for the Titans.

Look for Tennessee to make another solid run in the playoffs with Collins at the helm, I'm thinking that Young's days as a Titan are not over, but they are in question.