Hope you're ready for the Lions to suck this year

Calvin Johnson has been named the cover guy for Madden this season. In the unveiling on ESPN, they had Cam Newton and Johnson together on camera and I couldn't help but notice Cam Newton doing cartwheels after he wasn't picked. I mean wouldn't you be happy to learning you won't have a sophomore slump or season-ending injury? May god be with you Calvin Johnson...

He joins a long line of these guys...

Yep, Calvin Johnson is boned...

Thank god for Gus Johnson

Good God... is that Gus Johnson's music?! It is! The favorite March Madness commentator for CBS has just been signed as the play-by-play guy for Madden 11 - which if you have played the game recently you've noticed the commentary has sucked badly.

Now, get ready for "The runner... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Oh I can't wait.

Today, Johnson, the exciting and excitable CBS sportscaster, officially became the fourth play-by-play man to hold sports gaming's top booth job. Teased at the end of this video a month ago, Johnson's hiring is hardly a shocker, and neither are EA Sports' reasons for grabbing him. After nearly 20 years of often sedate, always straightforward calls by the likes of Pat Summerall and Al Michaels, Madden badly needed the kind of high-five-yourself enthusiasm Johnson imposes on a game.

"Coming out of Madden 10 one of the biggest criticisms was the audio presentation," said Ronnie Morales, an audio designer with EA Sports Tiburon, the studio behind the game. "We felt the game lacked the energy it deserved. Football is a dramatic sport."

The commentary was always something I thought was really cool as a kid but as I grew up I realized it was kind of lame. I mean how many times could you really enjoy John Madden talking about "Stick-em on the wide-recievers hands."

Gus Johnson will be a welcomed adition and hopefully the game comes with a "Gus Johnson head is exploding feature."

Reasons why you're still single... Madden 10 freakout

After purchasing the Wii version of Madden 10, you almost throw the thing away in a fit of tears after your inability to find the "Franchise Mode" on the game. However after a quick search on Google, you discover that it needs to be unlocked (super lame) by playing the game.

And in true douche form, instead of taking the challenge and trying to unlock Franchise Mode, you just take the cheat codes off the Internet and have now started a franchise with the Tennessee Titans. Anyone want Vince Young?

Madden 10 just got a whole lot better...

Score one for dog-fighters across the country and Michael Vick was reinstated to the NFL. While it's conditional, we should be seeing Vick back on an gridiron if a team is interested.

Vick "will be considered for full reinstatement and to play in regular-season games by Week 6 based on the progress he makes in his transition plan," the statement said. Week 6 of the NFL season is in October

Vick may participate in practices, workouts and meetings and may play in his club's final two preseason games under the conditions of his reinstatement, the league said.

Vick, 29, was freed from federal prison at Leavenworth, Kansas, on May 20 and returned to his home to serve the last two months of his 23-month sentence in home confinement.

The former Atlanta Falcons player is a free agent and has not been signed by any team.

Former Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy has agreed to continue working with Vick as an adviser and mentor, the NFL statement said.

Vick will probably be a marginal player this time around. He was a gifted athlete but not an elite quarterback. Now we'll see what happens after two years away from the game (he might not even play quarterback). One thing is for sure though, the QB sneak on Madden just got a whole lot easier.

Man Card Rules: playing Madden on rookie difficulty

Sometimes I'll bump the difficulty down in preseason games so I can build up my players stats for the real season on Madden, but I'm bumping it down to Pro - not brain-dead Rookie. And once the preseason is over I bump it back up again.

And listen, I'm terrible at Madden. So gawd awful that my 12-year old cousin whoops the crap out of me on the game and does some horrible rendition of the Ocho-Cinco dance. And he doesn't even like sports, I think he's going to become a theatre major in college.

But the Rookie setting?! It's seriously like playing against Art Shell. Your quarterback will have numbers that looked like they came from Arena Football, your running back will set the NFL rushing yards record for a season in just one game. Oh and your defense will sack the quarterback so many times the computer will eventually have to put Jeff George in the game.

And there's always that guy that loves showing off the fact that he can beat the computer 126-0, even though it takes three hours to do it (because the clock doesn't move when you score), and insists on your sitting and watching every single play.

You don't get medals for finishing the beginner rock-climbing course or the Green Circle snowboarding trail. You sure the heck don't get any props for beating the computer on Rookie settings. Turn in the man card.