May 14, 2009

Things Roger Clemens also believes...

Apparently Roger Clemens still doesn't believe he did steroids despite the overwhelming evidence saying otherwise. That would explain why he also believes the following...

(1) Carl Everett is actually a pretty sane guy.
(2) Dogs are actually little aliens sent to earth to protect us.
(3) JFK was actually assasinated by the makers of the Apple Computer.
(4) The lunar landings were staged, and the only person to be on the moon was Brian McNamee, because he's a scumbag.
(5) The Pirates are going to be really good this year. I mean really good!
(6) Lightsabers exist... they really do.
(7) Swine flu is actually just a made-up thing by the government to keep us out of pig farms.
(8) Health care in Canada is awesome.
(9) The Roger Clemens Late Night Show would be a grand idea!
(10) Really, the reason I revived my career was when I got all the seasons of "Cheers" on DVD.

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