The truth behind Brandon in Portland

Brandon is currently in Portland, Oregon.

So, I will use this time to explain to you the real reasons why he is there. He claims it's for a wedding, but we know the truth. Don't we?

1. Roses?!?! Brandon loves any city named after that flower.

2. He's a sucker for emo chicks. He finds them scary, yet intriguing.

3. Cheap beer is his friend. Nowhere is cheaper than the Shanghai bar with $1 Rainiers.

4. He wanted to get in a fight with a Timbers fan. "Sounders till I die!" he'll be chanting.

5. He enjoys chatting with hippies. Portland is full of them and their Subarus.

6. Pie.

7. He also enjoys hanging out with vagabonds. Portland is also full of those.

8. Outside of Seattle, there are more coffee shops per area than people. Brandon loves his caffeine.

9. Even though he doesn't know how to read, he wanted to check out Powell's. World renown for its books.

10. He wanted to swim in the Willamette River because he heard it was even dirtier than the Spokane River.