December 7, 2009

How to survive the Spokane winter

So I woke up today and ran into wonderful Spokane winter weather. Single digit temperatures, it hurts when I breathe and I'm pretty sure I saw a polar bear.

How do you survive all this?

1. Find a Star War creature. Kill it. Cut open its guts and crawl inside.

2. Move to Canada, it's warmer.

3. Sometimes its smart to approach a spokie and offer him $40 for their coat. It may smell like piss, but it's definitely worth it because you know it's warm because the spokie is living outside all winter.

4. Instead of putting water coolant in your car, but in butter, it wont freeze.

5. Watch out for the Abominable Snowman. In other cities, gangs are a big problem. In Spokane... this guy rules the streets.

You've been warned.

1 comment:

  1. depends where you are in canada.. it's pretty cold there too.