Reasons why you're still single... 24-year old winner

You pull up in the parking lot of my apartment complex in your crappy import car that's customized to the point where I think the spoiler is worth more than the actual car itself.

And looks who pops out of the car, not only your skeezy arse, but also four high school girls you obviously have been macking on. Riddling with insecurity, they huddle around you as you  break out the cigarettes, and talk about your career in the fast food industry.

Might I mention that you're a 24-year old man, still living like a high schooler? Might I mention this could be considered fairly damn illegal?

It's almost as disgusting as the baggy pants, dirty Seahawks sweatshirt and chi-mo mustache you try to pass off as your style...