Things you don't want to hear during Spring Training...

1. Your star pitcher just got lit up by the Baltimore Orioles, but it's only the first game of spring training. Don't read too much into it. Nevermind your star pitcher showed up overweight, got a face tattoo and was seen taking body shots off of Madonna. No worries. Nosireee!

2. Steroid rumors from one of your team's legendary players to which he denies any connection. Then you look at his rookie card and realize he looked like PeeWee Herman when he came into the league.

3. Clubhouse chemistry issues that should be resolved by the time the season starts. (In other words, somebody is getting stabbed before the All-Star Break)

4. Hey! Your DH hit .200 this year and is 38! But he's looking to bounce back! He even bought a bowflex this offseason and used it once. Then he realized he had to assemble the thing.

5. Trade rumors on where your best player will be by the second week of the season. Never a good sign.

6. "Nobody thinks we'll do anything this season but I think we'll surprise some people" ... okay Washington Nationals... you go do that.

7. "If we need an extra bat, hey... Barry Bonds is always on the market!"

8. Anytime your team is already sending out season ticket renewal forms - you know you might be in trouble this season.

9. "Can you imagine if Lebron played for the Indians!? We'd be unstoppable!"

10. Guess who we got? Carlos Silva!