May 7, 2010

All-NBA teams. WOO-HOO!

Breaking down the All-NBA teams for you. Seriously, this is big-time analysis.

First Team
C - Dwight Howard - Shoulders are wider than Rosanne Barr.
F - LeBron James -
Also a first-teamer on the Not-Human Squad.
F - Kevin Durant -
Seattle fans should stay away from sharp objects.
G - Kobe Bryant -
Still can't get Kobe's photoshoot out of my head.
G - Dwyane Wade -
Charles Barkley should also be mentioned for the assist with this naming. He makes Dwayne Wade in those T-Mobile commercials.

Second Team
C - Amar'e Stoudemire -
Now if he could stop calling everybody part of the 12 tribes of Israel.
F - Dirk Nowitzki -
I'm glad Dirk Nowitzki is alive and well after his latest choke job.
F - Carmelo Anthony -
His first name sounds like a candy bar.
G - Deron Williams -
Might be the holder of the "worst hair in the NBA" award.
G - Steve Nash -
Wait, nevermind.

Third Team
C - Andrew Bogut -
Sadly, his elbow was not named to the third team, since it disintegrated in Bogut's horrible season-ending injury.
F - Tim Duncan -
(Staring blankly at the screen with nothing to say)
F - Pau Gasol -
If Pau ever comes out with a rap video, we will all be for the better.
G - Joe Johnson -
He'd be cooler if his name was John Johnson.
G - Brandon Roy -
Wish Brandon Roy was higher on this list. What the hell?

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