September 16, 2010

My big statement before the big game

Ladies and gentlemen of Eastern Washington,

In just a few short hours, our boys in red will take the field against the Montana Grizzlies of Missoula with the rights to the Big Sky Championship on the line. It's the umpteenth time that these teams have faced off and it's been a big deal.

However, I must inform you all that this will be the first year that I will not bash the state of Montana in an article. I'm sorry. But I live in the state of Montana now, and I must say it's actually a pretty cool state.

Was I wrong about Montana? No. It seems like there's a person getting eaten by a grizzly bear every week. The internet here is in the 1995 stages and I have to get it from a Verizon Wireless card and it takes me 30 minutes to download a YouTube clip. My neighbor has a cowbell on his truck. You're more likely to get struck by lightning then find cell phone reception.

But does that make it a bad place? No it rocks. The people here rock. The scenery here rocks and the nightlife is absolutely freakin' hilarious. However... while I tip my cap to the state of Montana, Griz fans will not get such a kind gesture.

I still find your football team to be unbearable. I find your new uniforms the worst things to happen to football since Boise State's new uniforms. I'm getting sick of your talking about going to the WAC and sucking for 20 years. I can't wait for the Eastern Washington Eagles to hand you your jockstrap on the red turf.

As far as I'm concerned, Montana is a great land spoiled by the eyesore of hippies and intellectuals in Missoula. This Saturday I'll be the only one wearing a red EWU jersey and I'll probably get some good natured ribbing from the Griz fans at the bar. But you know what? Instead of those pathetic forum trolls that scoured the The Easterner website years ago and told a 21-year old kid he should go procreate himself, these fans might buy me a drink. You know why? Cause it's sports and it's fun. 99 percent of fans get that. The other one percent live with their mother. Too bad some of them just can't get that through their head.

Now if you'll excuse me... GO EAGS!

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