Soccer sucks! (or does it?)

An interesting thing happened yesterday, the US defeated Spain 2-0 in the semi-finals of the Confederations Cup (which is a warm-up for the World Cup). That snapped 15-game winning streak by the Spanish, who were the no. 1 team in the world.

Now, I could sit here and make some sort of poem about how great soccer is but that really wouldn't be truthful and I don't really feel like going through hate mail at the moment from people who actually have a point.

Soccer is boring and low-scoring. Unless you have something emotionally invested in it, you should probably just bring a pillow to the match. But we should have something invested in this win, because this was the biggest win in US Soccer history. Hands down. This is Idaho beating USC in college football. Douglas knocking out Tyson.

Now the reason I've actually enjoyed soccer so far this year has been the Seattle Sounders FC. Having a somewhat hometeam town to root changes the rules a little bit. When you're resting on every errant pass in front of your goal, the blood pressure tends to rise a bit. And that's the beauty of it, once you emotionally invest in soccer, it's actually pretty exciting.

However, all we as Americans have had to root for in terms of soccer was:

(1) Our youth soccer team where the parents cared more about the game than the kids. Where is my orange slices?

(2) Our high school soccer teams that was full of a bunch of skinny nonathletic guys that couldn't play any other sport. Factor in that they thought they were awesome because they played soccer (and were short) and the fact that they were usually a bunch of those creepy guys that hit on all the girls - and nobody in the entire high school really cared to see their team win.

(3) The MLS - which, I'll be honest - is basically the WNBA of professional men's sports in the United States.

(4) A crappy international team - usually we're so bad that when we play Brazil, their players make fun of us while the game is going on. Nothing you can exactly get behind.

That's not exactly the kind of teams that tug at your heartstrings and earn your attention.

But at least last night soccer gave us something compelling and pretty entertaining. If you get a chance to watch the replay you'll see that Spain was the waaay better team and held the ball for most of the game.

However, the United States got a lot of lucky breaks and their defense was pretty ferocious. Lots of blocked shots and slide tackles. Also, their goalie was spot on for the game and he needed to, he was getting peppered the entire second half.

If soccer could keep giving us moments like these (which it cant), people might like it.

Don't mess with a mom and her baby

I spend a lot of my time in the outdoors. So much that the only "house" I actually own is a tent. But there is one thing that I learned at a very young age and that is NEVER get between a mother and her baby.

I came across an article in the Ann Arbor News in which a teacher learned this the hard way. While touring the University of Michigan campus, the teacher saw a mother squirrel and her babies. She then noticed that one of the babies had fallen behind and a crow was taking interest in the young squirrel.

After an attempt to scare the crow failed, the teacher tried to get the mother squirrels attention. Instead, the mother took this as a threat to her babies and attacked. (roll Jaws music)

The teacher fell and was scratched on her leg. She ended up getting on her bus and going to the hospital.

Now, a squirrel doesn't exactly seem like the nastiest of creatures. They are so cute and fluffy. But no matter what the creature is, never get between a mom and her baby. Here are the top 10 animals I'd never want to be between:

10. Pigeon - They'd cover me in poop.

9. Wolf - Especially if their kid was Mowgli.

8. Badgers - Kinda like really big, meaner squirrels.

7. Penguin - Well I thought squirrels would be harmless. These flightless birds are cute too. The mom would probably eat me.

6. Pig - She'd think I was there to turn her and her baby into bacon. Fear is never good.

5. Slug - So much slime!

4. Hawk - Have you seen those claws?!?!

3. Big foot - She would crush me.

2. Kangaroo - Not only would she punch me to an inch of my lift, but when I was there, she would start kicking me with those large, powerful feet.

1. Grizzly Bear - She would crush me. Then eat me. Then crush me again.

Let's go Sounders!

For the first time tonight, a major-league soccer team representing Seattle will step out onto the pitch and the buzz couldn't be any better. Sure the MLS kind of screwed the pooch by starting their season the same day that the NCAA Tournament starts (Screw you Butler for ruining my bracket), but it's hard not to get excited about the Sounders.

Now I'm not a big fan of soccer. In fact, I hate soccer parents, 20-something guys that try to tell me that soccer (or Futbol) is way better than football and watching soccer on TV. 

But that's mainly because I don't have anything really invested in it. I can't get behind Manchester United because it's in freakin' GREAT BRITAIN. The only matches I'll watch is when the USA gets needlessly hyped up for the World Cup and sucks a ton. 

It's different though when you have a local team to root for now. Now I can actually invest into something emotionally and it's even more fun to say you were there from the start. Seattle apparently thinks the same as they've sold more than 20,000 season tickets and expect a sell-out crowd tonight against the New York Red Bulls at Qwest Field. If the 12th man can show up to soccer games as well, MLS players aren't going to know what hit them.

"What's all this noise coming from off the field? Is somebody landing a jumbo jet next door? And what are all these people doing sitting in these seats, don't they know we're playing soccer?"

And Sounders FC head coach Sigi Schmid couldn't be happier about the fan buzz.

Schmid said he's counting on the Seahawks 12th Man to carry its spirit on through soccer season. "Up until now, in Major League Soccer, there's no real cauldron that you worry a lot about going in to and playing. I think we could be the first here in Seattle. I think we could make this a place where teams don't like to visit because it's a very tough place to play in." Schmid added the fans are an integral part of the game, "it's one of those sports where I think fans definitely play a big role. They can definitely motivate the players. They're almost in-sinc with each other and connected. That's something that makes soccer special. That's a connection I want to see us get between our fans and our players."

The team has already sold more than 20,000 season tickets and will host the 2009 MLS Cup. "This has always been a very vibrant soccer market. Being able to be here and return big time, major league soccer to this area, I think, is fantastic for the fans," said Schmid.

Casey will be at the game tonight, I'll be watching the thing on TV. And we'll be giving you our reactions afterward. We'll probably be giddy as school girls, so you've been warned.

Things that probably should be left in the 1990s

(Bill Romanowski ... can just stay out of the NFL spotlight and the NFL altogether)

Alright, so the 90s were great right? Wonderful decade, lots of great things happened, and we should all be glad that we got the chance to experience it.

Sure, but there are some things we shouldn't get too nostalgic about.

1. Chain Wallets - Was this not the stupidest fad of the 90s. It didn't exactly match up well with the baggy pants that sagged down below your kneecaps. Plus it gave you the same fashion feel as a college freshman wearing his keys with his lanyard sticking out of the pocket. LAAAAME.

2. Sega Saturn - Remember the first kid on the street to get one of these bad boys? Remember how stupid that kid felt when everyone else got an N64 and Playstation?

3. Hale-Bopp - All we got out of that experience was some bad suicide jokes.

4. The Mars Pathfinder - Which apparently made worldwide news for being able to send back roughly one photo every six months. And the photo is of rocks. Of Mars. No Life. Somebody pinch me with the excitement.

5. The Macarena - I think we're still trying to wipe this scourge of a dance off the face of the planet.

6. The rise of Ben Afleck - Who continues to give the Cousin Charlies and Uncle Rickys of the world hope that they one day can overcome an upbringing of douchebaggery and date J-Lo.

7. Soccer moms - We've already covered in this blog how much I hate sports parents. Let me put it this way... these people are the reason that the rest of the world hates America. They spend thousands of dollars on their kids sports, yell and berate them and then brag to their coworkers at work about their kids. All this while running into massive amounts of debt and they just keep doing it. Got to get little Johnny down to the pee wee football tourney in California.

... And yes, I'm blaming sports parents for this new depression.

8. Cordaroids - A little too much 70s for the 90s. Believe me, I know. I had them. And everytime I took a step in them they made a "vvvvt!" noise. Now that's fashion.

9. The Phantom Menace - Still the worst Star Wars movie ever.

10. The Yankees Dynasty - Or as I like to say, a fitting champion for the steroids era. Congrats guys!

Honorable Mention - That guy right up there, Bill Romanowski, who actually ended the career of a teammate when he punched him and crushed the backup tight end's eye socket. Really. Now that's class.