Cheers/Jeers: Star Wars Edition

We've all seen the Cheers/Jeers section in The Inlander, which is a classified where people in Spokane can basically hit on each other, pat somebody on the back or chew them out. Either or, it's very, very entertaining.

That got me thinking, what if there was a Cheers/Jeers section in the Star Wars universe?

CHEERS

1. To that guy who killed both the emperor and Darth Vader. Man, they were getting on my nerves, what with their incessant choking of coworkers and that electrocuting thingy. Imperial Officers can rest easy now.

2. To that Rebel pilot who told me blowing up the Death Star wasn't much different from shooting a whomprats on Tattoine.

3. To those stormtroopers who didn't need our identification. Move along...

4. To the Rebel Alliance for preventing Yavin 4 for getting the s*** blown out of it. Would have made for a pretty crappy Christmas.

5. To Ewoks for their timely arrival and subsequent ass-kicking of Imperial forces.

JEERS

1. To Wedge Antilles, thanks for wimping out on me during that Death Star trench run. At least I have a true friend in Han Solo. Yeah I may have told him to screw off before we lifted off, but he came through in a clutch.

2. To stormtroopers for not being so precise.

3. To Wampas, how the hell do those things always die out in the cold of Hoth when they're from that freakin' planet.

4. To Wookies, they always tearing people's arms off after they lose at games.

5. To Andy Reid for looking like Jabba the Hut.

I SAW YOU

1. Hi sis, remember the last time we swung over a bottomless crevasse?

2. Yeah you were a ghost or something of Obi Wan Kenobi, thanks a lot for nothing. Being translucent and all, you told me to go to Dagobah where i crashed my X-wing. Wonderful.

3. Hey, I'm your father.

4. Could somebody please tell me where the heck I can get the number of that green slave chicks in Jabba's palace?

5. Beep Bop Beep Boops Bep Bep Boob Beep.