St. Patrick's Day: The myths and facts of St. Patrick

Fox News being the right-wing, Catholic propaganda machine that they are, came up with a list of myths and facts about St. Patrick. So before you tip back a pint of green beer, check out these little nuggets of info.

1. The potato crop was traditionally planted in Ireland after March 17. 

Whereas potato chips are on sale year round!

2. Blue not green is the color originally associated with St Patrick. “St Patrick’s Blue” is used on Ireland's Presidential Standard or flag, while the Irish Guards sport a plume of St Patrick’s blue in their bearskins. The emphasis on green is thought to be linked to “wearing the Green”, a symbol from the 18th century on, of sympathy with Irish independence.

What if St. Patrick went for a more flamboyant look, like plaid or sparkles. That would have changed the very make up of our society.

3. St Patrick is patron of fishermen in the Loire, where a legend associates him with a blackthorn bush. The saint is said to have slept beneath it, and when he awoke the next day, Christmas, the bush flowered, and was said to have continued to do so every Christmas until its destruction during the First World War.

Okay, what idiot destroyed the bush is what I want to know. Was is an overzealous gardener or was someone having a little too much fun with a blow torch. (Casey will tell you all about playing with blow torches)

4. A regiment of the Mexican army in the 1846 -8 War between Mexico and America was named after St Patrick. Members of the Batellón de San Patricio included Afro-Americans freshly liberated from the slave plantations of the South, and the soldiers were granted Mexican citizenship afterwards.

What if your regiment was named after Tax Day. Would you not be the most maligned unit in the entire army?

5. The first St Patrick’s Day parade took place in 1737 in Boston, followed in 1762 by New York. George Washington allowed his soldiers a holiday on March 17, 1780 as “an act of solidarity with the Irish in their fight for independence.”

And we're pretty sure traffic was lousy in Boston back then too.

6. Until the 1970’s, all pubs were shut in Ireland on St Patrick’s Day, and the sole venue selling drink the annual dog show. Lenten fasting – and the obligation to abstain from meat – were lifted on the day, which most families would begin with Mass.

No word yet on if they went for the double cheeseburger or the Whopper. I'd go with the Whopper.

7. St Patrick’s Day is a public holiday in Ireland and also in Monserrat "the Emerald Isle of the Carribean,” so called because it was settled in 1633 by Irish migrants from St Kitts.

Label that under "places on Earth I had no idea existed."

8. According to legend, on the day of Judgement, while Christ judges all other nations, St Patrick will be the judge of the Irish.

Well I mean, that sounds like a busy job. I'm sure he needs help. And by the way if you need somebody to judge 20-somethings just out of college with plenty of student loans to pay off - Casey and I would be more than willing to pitch in and pardon everybody.

9. Since 1962, tons of green dye are tipped on St Patrick’s Day into the Chicago river, although the quantity has reduced, for environmental reasons, from 100 to 40.

How could tons of green dye be bad for the enviroment? Where do you think Casey got his sixth finger on his right hand?

10. Should you wish to carry on celebrating St Patrick after March 17, in the United States, you might visit the four Shamrocks in the USA including Mount Gay-Shamrock, W.Va or the nine cities named Dublin, including Dublin, Ohio (the largest Dublin in the U.S.) and Dublin, Georgia.

And why isn't there a Dublin, Wash? I mean, it is the EverGREEN state. Lame.