February 13, 2012

George Lucas is a terrible old man

This weekend, Star Wars brought in 23 million dollars which would have been a major disappointment if it were a new movie. Instead it's a re-release of arguably the worst Star Wars movie ever made: The Phantom Menace.

This time in 3D. Hooray, I can see that awful podrace sequence and stilted acting in all dimensions! Granted I'll have to wear some greasy pair of glasses that's been worn 100 times before me. But it's Star Wars right?!?!

Come on folks, George Lucas needs to be saved from himself. He dumpster fired the Indiana Jones series with the fourth installment. He destroyed all credibility Star Wars had with the awful Episode I, the laughable Episode II and the "Oh this isn't godawful so if must be awesome" Episode III.

It wouldn't be so bad except we're going to see these prequels re-released in theaters in 3D and then the original Star Wars movies will be released after that. Again. For the umpteenth time, the same Star Wars movies in theaters. La-Dee-Da. Star Wars fans need to be released from their own maker's crazy marketing schemes. 

Here's an idea George, make a new movie, stop re-releasing the same old movies with minor tweaks. I know you're making a butt load of money but at least act like you're trying. You re-released these movies after they were originally run. Then you released the special editions. How many times can you beat on a dead Ewok?

Can't wait in six years when the Platinum Ultra Cool Super Sweet Editions of his six movies hit theaters again that feature more Natalia Portman cleavage or something.

And now can you excuse me, I have to buy a Tie Fighter toy online.

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