December 31, 2008

Celebrity New Years Resolutions

Since everyone pretty much wants 2008 to leave and not wave goodbye, lets run down what celebrities are doing for new years resolutions...

Charles Barkley - Dropping D-Wade from my Top-5 and adding Rodney Stuckey. Also should probably avoid any speakeasys while I'm at it.

Al Gore - Forget American Politics, I'm going to push my agenda of Man-Bear-Pig onto the Church of England now. Woo doggie!

Vladimir Putin - I need to figure out which country I should invade first. Really, Alaska is looking pretty nice at the moment.

George W. Bush - Finish up Halo 3, I've been playing it so much these past couple months I really need to finish up before I have to go back to work with that inauguration thingy.

Gov. Rod Blogojevich - Hmmm, I really need to act like a bigger douchebag.

Brett Favre - To confuse people to no end about whether or not I'm going to retire this off-season.

Tony Romo - To win a Super Bow... oh wait. Nevermind.

Rick Reilly - To finally put an end to Bill Simmons' non-journalist ways. HE'S A BLOGGER! A BLOGGER! Meanwhile, I'm an 800-word quirky story stud. NOT A BLOGGER. BILL SIMMONS IS A BLOGGER!

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