1. If it itches, you'd better get it checked by a doctor.2. When you beat the Lakers in the Finals, ask Kobe how your championship and crown-wearing a-- tastes.
3. Make a movie about being a genie, it will be a hit.
4. Here's the thing about the Orlando Magic - you're more likely to find somebody who has ridden "Pirates of the Caribbean" 20 times in a row than somebody that's been to every Magic home game last season.
5. When it doubt, say your name and add "Daddy" after it.
6. If you're a teammate with Mark Madsen, don't let him go out on the dance floor when you guys are out on the town.
7. When you refer to the Cavaliers, just call them "Voltron." You'll gain instant kudo points right there. When's the last time MJ made a 80s cartoon reference? And Space Jam doesn't count.
8.You know if you really wanted to, you could probably just play all the home games like Phil Jackson.
9. Land of the Lost... terrible movie.
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