Jeld-Wen Field is home to the Portland Timbers and cats

Tomorrow, April 14, is the first MLS game in Portland, Oregon as the Timbers host Chicago on ESPN2 at 8 pm.

But Jeld-Wen Field, formerly PGE Park, isn't home to just the Timbers. It's also home to a cat colony.

As workers installed a new Jeld-Wen Field sign, finished painting and laid the last of the turf in preparation for the Portland Timbers' home-opener, things have remained business as usual for some of the park's "staff."

Well, more or less. Somewhere between 12 and 19 furtive felines comprising the field's feral cat colony have had to adjust to a new location for their feeding station when the park was converted into a soccer stadium.

You can check out the rest of article over at The Oregonian.

Christmas with cats

My wife and I have two cats. They are just over a year old. Now I'm a dog person. However, the little critters do provide for some humorous moments. Like with the Christmas tree. This is exactly how they treat our Christmas tree.

Signs that your girlfriend is a cat lady

According to Facebook, Casey has apparently taken the plunge with his fiancee and they've acquired some cats.

I know, I feel sorry for him as cats are little hellspawns that do the work of Satan. If you'd like to avoid the same fate as Casey, I'd recommend looking for these warning signs that your girlfriend might be a cat lady...

1. She dresses like a slutty kitty for Halloween every single year. Even when her body type has no right dressing up like a slutty kitty. In fact, you beg her not to put on the same slutty kitty outfit, but she does anyways.

2. On your first date, she asked for extra cat hair on her food to get that feel of home.

3. This one is pretty simple... there are FREAKIN' cats in her apartment.

4. She thinks Egypt had it right when they whorshipped cats and wanted to be buried with them. In fact, she's worked up the funeral arrangement where you'll both be buried alongside her kitties.

5. She has more cat food in the apartment than actual human food. Sometimes she eats the cat food cause she can't afford human food because she spent too much money on cat food.

6. She hates dogs.

7. She meows alot. Which, on all accounts, is about the least sexy thing you can do. Ever.

Alright, be alert... unless you want to end up like Casey.

Epic Vidoe: Kitten Cake

I found this. The internet is very strange. Who thinks this stuff up?

Cat people must be stopped: 80 cats found in single home

What causes people to collect cats like stamps? I mean at what point does a situation like this seem normal...

One New Jersey SPCA official said it was probably the worst case he's ever seen.

An estimated 80 cats and one dog were found Thursday living in a home in a million-dollar neighborhood in Morris County.

SPCA spokesman Matthew Stanton said there was 2 feet of feces in one room of the home on Farm Road in Chester Township. Investigators wore masks to help them breathe through the stench of urine, Stanton said.

What the hell? I mean wouldn't you be like:

"Honey, we've got way too many cats in here. I count 80 cats at least. That's a lot. I don't think it's normal to have 80 freakin' cats in the house. Oops, I think I just stepped on like three cats. I can't even get to the bathroom because there are so many cats in this house. I've had enough, I'm going to a Holiday Inn Express."

But hey, at least they didn't have a mouse problem...

Spokane woman finds cat in used couch

Why do the best stories always seem to happen in Spokane? For a smaller city it sure seems to make the "Wall of Weird" a lot.

Take this story I came across today in the Spokesman-Review.

SPOKANE, Wash. — The mysterious mewing in Vickie Mendenhall's home started about the time she bought a used couch for $27. After days of searching for the source of the noise, she found a very hungry calico cat living in her sofa.

Her boyfriend, Chris Lund, was watching TV on Tuesday night and felt something move inside the couch. He pulled it away from the wall, lifted it up and there was the cat, which apparently crawled through a small hole on the underside.

Mendenhall contacted Value Village, where she bought the couch, but the store had no information on who donated it. So she took the cat to SpokAnimal CARE, the animal shelter where she works, so it could recover, and contacted media outlets in hopes of finding the owner.

Sure enough, Bob Killion of Spokane showed up to claim the cat on Thursday after an acquaintance alerted him to a TV story about it. Killion had donated a couch on Feb. 19, and his 9-year-old cat, Callie, disappeared at about the same time.

So it was that last line that really got me to chuckle. That he donated his couch and about that time the cat disappeared. Here's how I think the whole thing went down.

Wife: "Honey, get rid of this couch!"
Man: "But that's my favorite sitting spot. And the cat loves that couch too."
Wife: "I don't care. I want it gone by this evening. Donate it or burn it. I don't care."
Man: "Fine fine."
(Returning to house after donating it)
Man: "Well, the couch is gone. Now where am I supposed to sit."
Wife: "Funny you should mention that. Tomorrow we're going shopping."
Man: "Great."
Wife: "By the way, have you seen the cat?"
Man: "No, it's probably sad cause it's favorite couch is gone. As am I."
Wife: "I bet you let her out while you were moving the couch! I'm gonna slug you!"

A few days later and still no cat, the man is watching the news while sitting on the new couch his wife bought.

Man: "Stupid new couch. I had the perfect butt imprint in that good ol' couch."
Wife: "What was that honey?"
Man: "I was just saying how much I loved this couch."
Wife: "Quiet, the news is on."

Watching the news.

Man: "Hey Ma! The cat's on TV!"
Wife: "It is! That's our cat. They found her in that stupid old couch of yours. You know it's all your fault."
Man: "My fault?"
Wife: "Well, if you wouldn't have had such an ugly couch, I wouldn't of had to give it away. And the cat wouldn't have gotten lost. It's all your fault."
Man: "But I ju....."
Wife: "Enough! Go get the cat."

Whitworth Weekly Update: Way too many cats!

One thing the Whitworth Pirates aren't is overrated, unlike some other cross-town college basketball teams, cough, Gonzaga, cough.

You see, Gonzaga has what you would say is a cat problem. They've got too many cats in the house to make them feel better about themselves. Their are way too many homer fans and media members that pander to the Zags every move until Tournament time, then they exit early. Wowee.

But at least they don't have 118 Cats. Like this couple had in trailer park.

It took three hours for about 15 masked workers and police officers to remove 118 cats from a couple's reeking home in the Lowry Grove Mobile Home Park in St. Anthony on Tuesday.

Another dozen or so cats couldn't be captured because they were hiding in mounds of dolls and debris in the trailer and will have to be live-trapped, said Keith Streff, senior investigator of the Animal Humane Society in Golden Valley. One cat escaped and three were left with the couple, the limit permitted by city ordinance.

Authorities have seen such cases before.

The woman fits the classic profile of an obsessive-compulsive animal hoarder, "which is sad for both animals and owners," Streff said. In 2002, Humane Society workers removed 72 cats from the same couple's residence when they lived in Coon Rapids, he said.

So you heard it hear first. Gonzaga University is like that cat lady. They had obsessive compulsive fan disorder, which leads to their Final Four hopes stinking like urine and tuna.

But moving on to the Whitworth men's basketball, they play three roads games in the next five days with the marquee matchup against league-leading Puget Sound. Currently the Pirates are tied for second in the conference with 17-4 overall and 7-3 league mark, so a win over the top team would definitely do well for the rest of the season. A sweep of the weekend would put them in very good shape heading into the postseason tournament.

And even though this is the third highest win total under head coach Jim Hayford's tenure, you wont hear a big fuss about it. Such is the life of a Division III program.

Luckily they don't have cats though.

Epic Video: An Engineer's Guide to Cats

So cats are evil, and only weird people have cats, but this video is hilarious.