People I don't want to sit next to on the bus

1. People that randomly break out in song - Because this means I'm in some alternate reality where life is actually a musical. And I hate musicals. Espicially musicals about buses.

2. That guy that wears a top hat - aka Jack the freakin' Ripper. Sitting at the bus, staring straight forward, probably deciding how I'll look as a lampshade.

3. Gonzaga fans - Stop complaining about last night, you're still making the tournament.

4. That guy that dresses up like a Stormtrooper - Actually this guy is totally cool in my book.

5. The BO Person that wants to sit as close to possible to me as possible - And to better grasp the amount of BO, I would suggest you stuff your head into a pile of hockey equipment after a game. Then roll around in some cow excrement, sniff the bottom of a horse's hoof, dive into an outhouse head first and take a big sniff of that stinker the Zags laid down in Las Vegas!

6. Meth Addicts Anonymous - Did you just ask to use my phone? Why did you call all these numbers, why were they calling back and demanding money?

7. Super-talkative person - "How 'bout this weather?" ... shut up.

8. People that take up more than just one seat - Oh you're going to sit next to me? With your shopping cart of rare junk collectibles plucked from the mines of Spokane. Sure! Oh you're oozing over into me? I can feel your fat rolls. ick.

How to get away from "that bus talking guy"

We at JustSON have had our share of riding the bus. And there is always that person that gets on just to chat with you, a complete stranger.

In many cases that person is Brandon. He has a knack for being "that talker guy on the bus to Spokane."

So, here are our Top 10 ways to lessen your chance the talker guy sits next to you.

10. Stop showering for a few days. Nobody likes stinky people.

9. Wear an iPod. Hopefully he'll get the hint.

8. Don't wear pants. That's just awkward for everyone.
7. Stare at him as he gets on the bus. Oh, don't forget to mouth, "I love you," over and over.

6. Eat a lot of beans before the bus. Gas smells. See number 10.
5. Lay across the seat. Then he won't have a place to sit.

4. Stare out the window. Never, I repeat NEVER make eye contact.

3. Pick your nose the whole ride. Nose picker!

2. Carry a purple umbrella onto the bus. The whole ride open and close it above you.

1. Scream your day story in detail with lots of obscenities. Today I went to the %^$&#* store! While I was in the (*#&!@ store I found a #$%##@ penny on the ground! It was so ^%$#@!@# shiny! I *&^%$# picked it up of the *&$#% ground!