The most un-American American

Say hello to the douche of the year. This guy stabbed a Mariner during a "Toys for Tots" drive. Awesome, don't let the loser door hit you in your arse on your way to jail. Oh and don't drop the soap.

(CNN) -- A Marine Corps reservist helping in a "Toys for Tots" drive was stabbed Friday when he grappled with a fleeing shoplifting suspect, authorities in Augusta, Georgia, said.

Cpl. Phillip Duggan, 24, suffered a single stab wound. He was treated and released from the hospital later Friday, Sgt. Dan Carrier of the Richmond County Sheriff's Office said. "He's doing fine."

The suspect attempted to conceal property and was confronted by Best Buy employees, authorities said. An employee struggled with the suspect, who brandished a knife. The employees backed away from the armed man to prevent any injury to themselves or customers, Carrier told CNN.

Duggan and several other Marines wearing their dress blues were conducting the annual toy drive in the breezeway of the Best Buy when they heard the commotion and saw the suspect flee through the store entrance, Carrier said.

Duggan tackled the suspect and other Marines also moved to stop the suspect, who stabbed Duggan once in the middle of his back, close to his spine, Carrier said.

The dude is a Marine though and just walked off the stab wound (okay he went to the hospital and is doing fine). The shoplifter? Enjoy going to court for assault with a deadly weapon.

Worst. Mom. Ever.

This takes the cake for the most disturbing/hilarious/non-suprising/ridiculous news story I have ever read.

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - A north Florida mother has pleaded guilty to shaking her baby to death after the boy's crying interrupted her game on Facebook.

Alexandra V. Tobias pleaded guilty to second-degree murder on Wednesday and remains jailed.

The Florida Times-Union reports that she told investigators she was angered because the boy was crying while she was playing the game FarmVille.

The paper also reports that she told investigators she shook the boy, smoked a cigarette to compose herself and then shook him again.

Looks like her friends won't be getting any invitations to fertilize her crops on Farmville anytime soon. Bazinga! I wonder if she smoked during the pregnancy...

Got Snow? Melt it!

I'm at my parents house now for Christmas Eve, and my mom asks me to shovel the drive. I say no problem, throw my boots on and head outside. While shoveling, I think to my self that there should be an easier way to do this. Like maybe a blowtorch, or better yet a flame thrower. Then I say, "No Casey, that would just be stupid."

Well, I guess this guy thought it was a good idea:

Man melting snow with blowtorch ignites home
He wanted to clear back porch, instead he's got $30,000 in damage

NEW BEDFORD, Mass. - Fire officials in New Bedford, Mass., say a man using a blowtorch to melt ice on his back porch ended up setting his house on fire, causing up to $30,000 in damage.

Fire Capt. Scott Kruger tells The Standard-Times of New Bedford that no on was injured during Monday's incident at the three-story home.

Kruger says the man was using a torch hooked up to a 20-pound propane cylinder. He got too close to the building's wood frame and ignited the vinyl siding. The fire quickly spread into the building's second- and third-floor apartments.

It took 25 firefighters to subdue the blaze that damaged bedrooms in the upstairs units, and caused damage to the structure and wiring.

The homeowner will not be charged.

I know this guy...

So most normal people going through the drive thru that are high usually just order an absurd amount of food because they have the munchies. Or they mispronounce the menu items. Or they give the cashier four 100 dollar bills by mistake.

But they usually don't try to pay the cashier with pot.

VERO BEACH, Fla. - A McDonald's cashier called 911 after a Vero Beach drive-thru customer allegedly offered to pay for his meal with marijuana. The Indian River County Sheriff's Office said the cashier called Monday with a description of the vehicle the suspect had been riding in.

A deputy spotted the vehicle, found marijuana in the car and arrested its occupant, 27-year-old Shawn Alexander Pannullo.

Pannullo was charged with possession of cannabis and posted $500 bail. It was unclear if he had an attorney.

That last line cracks me up. I'm going to guess "no" on the attorney. You'd better be grateful if he shows up to his court date with pants on. I'm shocked not by the fact that the guy offered the cashier marijuana, but because the cashier didn't take it as payment. What is this world coming to if fast food workers aren't stoners?