Fighting with co-workers over who has the coolest F-ing workstation

It seems like some unspoken competition about who has the coolest workstation. First, it's something innocent like a desk organizer where you can put your pens. Then it's a mini-filing cabinet to store files. Dual Monitors. A new desk chair with massage capabilities. Three Monitors. A computer that also makes coffee. A secretary (even though the office already has one). A small botanical garden on your mini shelf.

Then it gets ugly. People start to steal stuff like scissors, small animals and eventually they end up poisoning the rare bamboo plant somebody put on their desk for looks with ink toner.

Nobody wants to be that smuck like Casey and I who have a computer, a file organizer and a whole lot of empty, because lets face it, we both have the interior design capability of a meth addict.

Which is perfect kind of person to have their cubicle firebombed.

How to get to work on time

Waking up in the mornings is always tough for me. It's like trying to get an NFL lineman out of IHOP - which can be especially hard when they're armed with guns.

Since Casey and I are in what you would call the "real world" now we have to get up at ridiculously early hours to go to our jobs. Now I say ridiculously early, which means fairly early for must people but we're still in the college student mentality when 10 a.m. was getting up at the crack of dawn.

Now there's a couple of things I've managed to work out in order to get myself up in the morning and get the office on time.

(1) I set up six to seven different alarms, starting a 4:45, alternating every 15 minutes until I actually wake up. This is achieved through my cell phone, my main alarm clock and a goose named Harry that wakes me up in the morning.

(2) I sleep in the clothes I go to work in. Saves time.

(3) I've scouted out my commute to the point where I know every shortcut. Granted it means I have to drive through some old lady's lawn but it does shave a few minutes off.

(4) I pretend sometimes to not be able to tell what numbers are and I get sympathy and am allowed to come to work late.

So apply some of these things on Monday and you might find yourself enjoying the day a bit more.

Things I saw on my drive today

I now have an hour drive to work, and therefore an hour drive home everyday. My route takes me through some interesting sections of the suburbs of Seattle.

Here are some of the things I saw today:

1. A bum holding a sign on the corner that read, "I will dance if you give me money." I threw him a nickel. He did a short jig. I hope I see this guy every morning.

2. A lady in a park walking 9 small dogs. They had all ran around her and tangled up. It was pretty good.

3. Some guy in the same park doing yoga in only a speedo. I am avoiding that park from now on.

4. Lots of construction. Speaking of which, I have a question. Is it a necessity that if you are going to hold the "slow/stop" sign you must look pissed off? Cause I saw 10 of the said individuals today, and each one looked like they wanted to kick my fender.

5. A squirrel.

6. The Burger King. He was driving by me in a Cadillac. No joke. I couldn't even make this stuff up.

7. I also think I saw that guy from the Adam Sandler movies. You know. This guy.

8. A lady with really really big hair. I mean, it consumed the interior of her car.

9. A Spokie on Interstate 90 with a sign that read, "Spokane or bust."

10. A guy fixing a flat tire. He didn't have AAA. That means he was capable of changing his own tire. He didn't need any help. Give him another man-card.

Epic Photo: A new cube

I decided today that I needed to do something to my cubicle at my desk job. I came up that I would cover it with a roof, bring in rocks and running water and get a pet bat. Then I would have a cubiclecave or cubecave.

I started looking for accessories for my cubecave when I came across this. I now think I might do this.

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