May 31, 2011

Fable 3 is dirty

I was playing Fable 3 the other day on the Xbox 360 and I found out that not only does it have gnomes in it that come to life (which is perhaps my greatest fear) but it also contains some dirty characters.

Take a look:

Needless to say I did not help Brian find his package. I figured he could have a gnome help him with that.

Baseball bat lands upright

Watch the bat after the batter swings.



What do you think, fake or real?

May 28, 2011

Brandon's poor judgement in....well....just look

For those of you who might be ready to trust Brandon when he says I have poor taste in sporting jerseys, I want you to just ask yourself one thing....

Can you really trust a Denver Broncos fan that dresses like this?

Casey's poor judgement in baseball jerseys...

Casey keeps bragging about his new teal Mariners jersey to which I always roll my eyes. A teal jersey?!?! serious?!?! And this guy also owns a lime green Seahawks jersey. With that I would like to present you with poor fashion choices by Casey Tiber Knopik...





I rest my case on the teal Mariners jersey.

May 27, 2011

Green With Envy

Last year I told you about a movie that I am very excited for that comes out at Thanksgiving.

Well the first trailer was just released. The movie is called "Green With Envy."

Check it out:

Epic Video: Kerr Dam

Here's a video I made of Kerr Dam in Polson yesterday...

May 26, 2011

Deadpool patrols Wenatchee

Apparently Wenatchee is a hotbed of super-hero activity. Check this story out...

Marvel’s Deadpool is an anti-hero and a mercenary. Wenatchee’s Deadpool said he chose his character “because I allied with his humor and his ideal that what once was bad can become something better and good. .... And not his outlook on heroism or his methods.” Deadpool has been putting up flyers around town so people know what he’s up to and won’t be alarmed when he rushes to help them. He asks anyone who needs help with just about anything to contact him via email at ncwdeadpool@hotmail.com.

The World saw one of these flyers and contacted him. He responded by pay phone.

“The whole secret identity thing,” he said. “You can’t be too careful.”

Deadpool admits to being a Wenatchee resident between the ages of 20 and 30. He’s got a whole other life that’s regular, he said, but he won’t go into that. Deadpool said the idea to dress up and help people “just came to me one day.”

He acknowledged, however, that the costume thing has its drawbacks. It makes him hot when the sun’s out, and it seems to put some people off.

“I tried to help a woman out of the rain the other day and she didn’t really want to take my umbrella,” he said. “I think she was kind of intimidated.”

Wenatchee police have had no complaints about Deadpool, said the department’s Capt. Doug Jones. “Anyone doing good deeds is encouraged unless they get too pushy,” he said. “If he grabs someone’s arm that doesn’t want it grabbed, that could be a problem.”

The best part about this is that Casey does this every night but people just think he's creepy.

Is Cheney Owl City?


Here's a photo of the resident Owl at Showalter Hall. Check that bird out!

Morning coffee... Mavs move on to NBA Finals


The Dallas Mavericks polished off the OKC Thunder last night to win the Western Conference Finals and punch their ticket to the NBA Finals. As a Seattle SuperSonics fan, all I can say is thank god, the nightmare is over. Seeing the Thunder go to the Finals and win it would have been the ultimate slap in the face after Clay Bennett moved the Sonics from the city. Oh wait, not moved, stole.

I can't say that I've been a big Mavs guy in the past, but it's been rather entertaining watching them make their run this year. With the Heat leading 3-1 in their series we could see a rematch of the 2006 NBA Finals when the Mavs took a 2-0 lead over Miami and then fell apart to lose 4-2. With the Big 3 now on the Heat, this Finals is going to have so many storylines.

And with that said... Go Dallas!

Headlines
Fan dies after fall at Coors Field
Not a fun story, as the guy was only 27 years old.

Zach Greinke HITS a home run
Is there anything this guy can't do? Pitch. Hit. Stop World Hunger. A-Mazing.

Tampa Bay dies water blue to support Lightning in semi-finals against Boston
Wait... you dyed it blue? Waaaayyy to go out on a limb.

Casey and I actually love these studies...

Apparently there's a big fuss over the National Science Foundation and their apparent goal to study the most ridiculous things. I don't know about you, but I would actually prefer to see how long a shrimp can walk on a treadmill, wouldn't you?

The Senate’s top watchdog on government waste, in a new report Thursday, said taxpayer money has gone to fund such programs as Jell-O wrestling at the South Pole, testing shrimp’s exercise ability on a treadmill and a laundry-folding robot, all funded by the National Science Foundation.

Sen. Tom Coburn, Oklahoma Republican, said he identified more than $3 billion in mismanagement at NSF, ranging from questionable studies to exorbitant operating costs, and in some cases duplication by the science agency of operations performed by other agencies.

At a time when the federal government is struggling with record deficits and bumping up against its borrowing limit, Mr. Coburn said the agency is a prime example of the kinds of spending taxpayers should no longer tolerate.


I'm wondering the validity of these claims, thinking that a congress person could look at one small part of a program (Really how much does jello-o wrestling cost? Remember college?), and then incurring the entire cost of the program to that one aspect. I don't think there are many scientists out there that want there entire life's work to be a robot that can cut a stick of butter. This is more of a public stunt than a real crackdown expose. The only thing I'd be concerned with is the duplication of operations that could be limited.

May 25, 2011

Spokane woman loses a ton of weight eating soup... I need to rethink my life

Looks like I need to go on this diet...

SPOKANE -- A Spokane woman is getting national recognition after winning a contest sponsored by a soup company. But the Progresso Company is not the only one celebrating Dawny Taylor's success.
Dawny Taylor dreamed her whole life of slimming down.

After years of hard work, she lost a lot of weight but gained more happiness than she ever could have imagined. She said she prides herself on her healthy eating habits. But she didn't always eat healthy. The 36-year-old used to weigh 416 pounds. After taking a nasty fall that broke her leg, she decided to make a change.

Dawny started Weight Watchers and acquired a taste for Progresso soup. The weight started to come off and she was rewarded for it. This spring, Dawny won a Progresso contest which included a trip to New York City for a makeover and shopping spree. Seven years and 229 pounds later, she is a whole new person. She is now a woman's size 8 at 187 pounds.


Where is my Progresso!?!?!?!

May 23, 2011

The rhododendron is the state flower of Washington for a reason

I know I haven't been able to post too many outdoor photos lately. But at least I can enjoy some awesome flowers around my place. Check out these rhododendrons:





Brandon Kaufman named top 10 FCS wide receiver


Last week I told you about how The Sports Network named Eastern Washington University defensive back Matt Johnson as one of the top 10 defensive backs in the FCS.

Today they named EWU's Brandon Kaufman as one of the top 10 FCS wide receivers.

Here's what The Sports Network had to say about Kaufman:

Brandon Kaufman, Eastern Washington, Jr., 6-5, 205 - With star tailback Taiwan Jones sidelined for the FCS semifinals and championship game last season, Kaufman took his play to an elite level, catching a combined 17 passes for 255 yards and three touchdowns for the national champion Eagles. He finished the season with 76 receptions for 1,214 yards and 15 touchdowns in 15 games, and was the first EWU player to score on the new red turf at Roos Field. He uses his big body to be physical in traffic and long legs to get behind the secondary.

Looks like the team is already getting tons of national exposure!

Kaufman also has the distinction of being the first Eagle to score a touchdown on the red turf. I was there as he scored. Fast forward to 2:05 I'm the guy in the number 8 Eastern jersey jumping and screaming.

May 20, 2011

Epic Photo: Well there goes the neighborhood

Mississippi flooding? No worries when you have a back hoe. Look at this example of good ol' American ingenuity when it comes to natural disasters... 

Morning Coffee... the NBA: Where eye-gouging happens


OKC won Game Two to even up the NBA Western Conference Finals at 1-1. Despite them being the former Sonics and my man-crush on Kevin Durant, I can't really root for the Thunder. There's nothing I would like to see less than Clay Bennett getting an NBA Championship. So you know what what that means?

GO DALLAS!


And with that said, let's move onto today's headlines...

Screenshots from NHL showing that you can rough up the goalies - HUZZAH!
Even though Hockey has Star Trek-like fans, their video games are cool at least.

Randy "Macho Man" Savage dies in car accident
Okay come on folks, this is sad, Macho Man was many a youngin's favorite wrestler. He was also perhaps the best NES wrestler around.

The world ends on Saturday
Make sure you stock up on Top Raumen. I did.

May 19, 2011

Camera Wars



This looks just about right.

Army Sniper can't hunt because he didn't take a hunter's safety course

I'm sure he could shoot the tick off the back of a deer from a half-mile away, he just can't shoot the deer.

He’s clearly not a kid anymore.

The 24-year-old soldier has been in the service for nearly seven years, survived two tours in Iraq and earned a spot in the U.S. Army sniper corps.

He’d be a star in any hunting blind.

But when his uncle recently invited him from Fort Lewis to Eastern Washington for a weekend of pursuing spring gobblers, a license dealer couldn’t sell him a state hunting license.

The soldier had not passed a certified hunter education course.

In one theater, he had a government license to kill human beings.

But he couldn’t get a license to kill a turkey in Stevens County.

Yeah that makes sense, meanwhile an anti-government crackpot can go around shooting at whatever bush shakes in the county. Trust me! I've ran into the same people.

Mid-day coffee: Airlines requests two plump people buy four seats


Lets hope Warren Sapp is flying places anytime soon... Daughter and Mom asked to buy four seats for being too large.

Tiggeman said the incident happened in Dallas over Easter. She and her mother were told by a gate agent they each had to purchase two seats.

“And said that we were, in fact, too fat to fly, without an additional ticket,” Tiggeman said.

Yet, this was a return flight, and they hadn’t been stopped before. The gate agent said it was policy.

“I was asked what size clothes, and how much I weigh. I gave answers in front of a gate full of people, some of whom were snickering,” Tiggeman said.

Tiggeman, who once weighed 393 pounds, is down to 268 pounds.
Oh boy! And with that said, here are the headlines of the day...

Kareem Abdul Jabar feels slighted the Lakers don't have a statue of him
The kicker is, that have a statue of Kurt Rambis.

Bruins forced to remove ads mocking Tampa Bay Lightning fans
Yes, apparently all four Tampa Bay Lightning fans got upset.

MSU to host the Human-Powered Vehicle Competition
Still waiting for the fart-powered vehicle competition to come to the state of Montana.

Matt Johnson named top 10 FCS defensive back


The Sports Network, basically the best site on the internet for all things FCS related (sorry ESPN but you suck when it comes to REAL college football) has released their list of the top 10 defensive backs in the Football Championship Series.

They didn't rank the defensive backs, instead just listed the top 1o. And making the list is Eastern Washington University's very own Matt Johnson.

Here's what The Sports Network had to say about Johnson:

Matt Johnson, Eastern Washington, S, Sr., 6-2, 220 - With 15 career interceptions, Johnson will threaten the school record of 18. He's entering his fourth season as a starter, having earned All-Big Sky first-team and The Sports Network/Fathead.com FCS All-America third-team honors for the FCS champion Eagles last season. In 15 games, he totaled 105 tackles with five interceptions and eight other pass breakups, adding two forced fumbles and one fumble recovery. He is a physical presence who is instinctive.

And of course you can always check out goeags.com for more on Eastern Athletics.

Is it football season yet? I'm ready for the repeat!

National Bike to Work Day 2011

This Friday, May 20, is National Bike to Work Day.

So grab you're bike and head to work. And think you have a tough commute to work? Check out Danny MacAskill's commute. Now that's something.

May 15, 2011

Brandon's secret

If you were following facebook or twitter last night you would have gotten the image that Brandon has a strong distaste for Portland, Oregon.

But the truth is that distaste is just for the Timbers.

I have proof that he is a Portland Trailblazers fan.

This photo is from a post back in 2008 in which Brandon attended a Portland Trailblazers game and, with the soon-to-be departure of the Seattle Sonics, he became a fan of Portland.

A quote from Brandon: "Portland sure does support their team, as their state-of-the-art arena of over 20,000 seats was nearly sold out on a Tuesday. Looks like when the Sonics move to Oklahoma, I'll have to jump ship here. Or maybe I already have"

So while he may dislike the Timbers with every fiber of his being, deep down Brandon does like Portland.

Emerald City Supporters display before the Sounders vs Timbers match

Before the Seattle Sounders FC MLS match against the Portland Timbers last night, the Emerald City Supporters group had an amazing display.

This display is called a "tifo."

Tifo was originally the Italian word for the phenomenon of supporting a sport team, is mostly used as a name for any spectacular choreography displayed by supporters on the terraces of an arena or stadium in connection with a sport event, mostly an association soccer match.


Tifos are most commonly seen in important matches, local derbies and rivalries

Check out the ECS tifo display:



And this is WAAAAAY better than what the ECS used to be like.

May 14, 2011

Sounders fans before we became part of the group

One of my friends who use to work in the Portland Timbers front office just sent me this photo of Sounders fans before they were in the MLS and before Casey and I became fans...


So if you're counting, that's a guy with an orca hat, two drunk guys, somebody who I can only imagine is on a sex offender poster somewhere and a hippie who made that "No Smoking" sign. Then Casey and I came along with our Seattle Sounders fandom...


And now look how many people have jumped on board because we make this look just so damn cool.


Any other teams want to sign us as free-agent fans?

Levi: A Documentary

Saw this over on Levi Leipheimer's site. I think it looks good. Worth checking out.

Coming in the fall of 2012.

This film will take its viewers on a journey through Levi Leipheimer’s rise from the mining town of Butte, Montana to the podium of the Tour de France.

Scheduled to debut during the 2012 GranFondo in Santa Rosa, CA. Sign up on our mailing list to be informed of DVD pre-sales and other film related information.

2011 Amgen Tour of California


Tomorrow, May 15, the 2011 edition of the Amgen Tour of California kicks off and it's sure to be a great eight days of racing.

The Tour of California is the largest cycling event in America. And because of that many of the great riders from around the world will be taking part. And with 18 teams in the race there are bound to be some some great rivalries.

Here are the 2011 teams:
The official site has nice video previews of each of the stages of the race. Unfortunately there wasn't an embed option so you'll have to go to the videos page of the Amgen Tour of California site.

Tomorrow's Stage One starts in South Lake Tahoe and heads to North Lake Tahoe-Northstar at Tahoe Resort.

Miles: 118.7 KM: 191.0
Start: Sun, May 15: South Lake Tahoe
Finish: North Lake Tahoe - Northstar at Tahoe Resort
Start Time: 10:30am Finish ETA: 3:12-3:36pm

The question is, what team and/or rider are you rooting for? Me, I'm still all about the argyle.

Bin Laden was still looking at porn like we did in 1998

Oh U.S. government, your choice of information that you release is awesome...

So far, U.S. officials have released information about several materials the Navy SEALs found in bin Laden's Abbottabad compound, including Pepsi, Vaseline, and Avena syrup—a sexual stimulant. Today, Reuters reported that officials also found a fairly extensive and modern porn stash amidst the digital thumb drives and electronics recovered from the raid.

They did not say whether bin Laden himself was privy to the videos or if they were passed around in the house. Given that the compound was not connected to the Internet or other communications networks, it's not clear how bin Laden or his couriers would have acquired the materials. One idea is that the porn came to them through thumb drives, along with other electronic messages carried by couriers to and from the al Qaeda leader.


No word yet on if the Olson Twins sex tape was also in the compound.

May 13, 2011

Hey UW fans... you're royally screwed!

Casey's Washington Huskies are screwed. This year's game between UW and the EWU Eagles has already been put on the "upset watch list" on the Bleacher Report for FCS and FBS inter-classification matchups.

While no doubt, Casey will come up with some cop-put half EWU-half UW jersey like this one, I will give no such respect to the University of Washington. You may remember that I lost a bet to Casey when UW beat WSU in the Apple Cup last year and I still owe him a "Carlton Dance" video which is roughly almost 8 months late in production, but it's coming!

Now Eag fans, check this wonderful bit of writing out...

You may know Eastern Washington’s football program best from their decision to install red turf on their football field. Whether the red turf is a genius decorative move or a cheap Boise State rip off is up for debate.

Regardless, Eastern Washington is a FCS power and is the reigning FCS National Champions. The Eagles have sent players to the NFL, most recently running back Taiwan Jones. Jones was selected by Oakland in the fourth round of the 2011 NFL draft.

Washington returns a sizeable amount of personnel from last season’s Holiday Bowl team, but the Huskies could still fall to Eastern Washington. Quarterback Jake Locker must be replaced. Expect running back Chris Polk to emerge as the featured talent in the Huskies offense.

Washington hosts Hawaii in Week 2, and then travels to Nebraska in Week 3. Hawaii and Nebraska are two higher profile opponents, but Eastern Washington will test this transitioning Huskies team.

CA-CAWWWWW!

May 11, 2011

Democracy at its best


How are you going to pass the time in Parliament? By watching porn of course! Although you should probably make sure you're not a anti-porn politician.

An Indonesian politician whose party sponsors anti-porn legislation has resigned after being photographed watching porn in parliament on his tablet computer. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he used the old "I just opened a link in an email" excuse.

Just opened a link?!?! He probably has the same problem sending money to Nigerians who have just inherited a large fortune and not getting a return on it. Curses this internet technology is ruining government!

Bovine on the loose!


Big news in Rathdrum and Post Falls... apparently there is a missing Bovine on the loose!

"I'm a Black Scottish Highland steer new to Cable Creek Farm. It was dusk when I arrived to my new home. Thirty minutes later I got spooked by my new friend, the llama. It ran toward me and I did the only thing I knew how to do... I ran through a barbed wire fence to safety. Now I'm lost! I saw a sign that said 3866 S. Stateline, but I can't read so it didn't help. Maybe I'm near western Post Falls or the Liberty Lake area. Have you seen me? Call (208) 659-1223 if you have any information."

Keep your eyes out folks!

Embarassing Photos of our friends on Facebook: Food edition

While I find this photo funny, it's also making me very, very hungry.

May 6, 2011

I won't be flying on this plane


Lame Lame Lame.

The Portland Timbers now have their own plane thanks for the support by Alaska Airlines of the Seattle Sounders FC bitter rival. Blech. That plane looks terrible. Check this mess out. (BTW they only get a 737... not good enough for a 747).

PORTLAND, Ore. — Alaska Airlines introduced its Major League Soccer Portland “Timbers Jet” this morning to a crowd of fans in “Soccer City, USA.” The Boeing 737-700 paint theme is a combination of two designs created by Paul Wright of Portland, Ore., and John Bode of San Mateo, Calif. The aircraft features the Portland Timbers’ name and logo in the team’s trademark colors with a rising sun across the forward part of the fuselage.

“The ‘Timbers Jet’ is a great example of why Alaska Airlines is a fabulous partner for our organization,” Portland Timbers President Merritt Paulson said. “This is easily the best-looking plane you will find anywhere.”

The two first-place designs were chosen from among 500 entries in a “Paint-the-Plane” contest. The “Timbers Jet” celebrates Alaska Airlines’ pride in being the official airline and jersey sponsor of the Portland Timbers.

“Paul and John’s winning designs came together seamlessly to create one of the most unique paint themes in our fleet,” said Joe Sprague, Alaska Airlines’ vice president of marketing. “The plane’s iconic green and yellow colors will be hard to miss from the ground or in the air.”

To celebrate the introduction of the “Timbers Jet,” Alaska Airlines will extend early boarding privileges to Portland International Airport passengers wearing an official Timbers jersey throughout the 2011 MLS season.

I dont know why you would want to do this but you can see the official story here.

Brandon the paleontologist

Brandon was talking about a career change the other day. He said he was either going to become a cryptozoologist or a paleontologist.

A cryptozoologist hunts for hidden creatures while a paleontologist hunts for prehistoric life. So both are looking for things like big foot and dinosaurs.

I asked him why a paleontologist. He sent me this song:

Taco Time soda machine


We were in Taco Time in Issaquah yesterday and came across a fancy new soda machine.

In fact, it's the soda machine of the future.

It's touch screen and offers over 100 flavors of soda. You pick the main soda and then which flavor you want to add to it. Say you want Coke, you then can choose cherry, orange, vanilla, lime, raspberry or raspberry/vanilla.

The machine was pretty awesome.

But I can see how on a busy day it'd get annoying for the workers because with so many choices the line would get kinda long as people were trying to make the perfect soda combination.

Kiro 7 even did a short report on the machines
.

May 4, 2011

Movie filmed near Chewelah, WA

Here's a trailer for a film that was filmed in Valley, Wash. near Chewelah, Wash.

Smallville final season

When I was 15 years old the WB (now the CW) debuted a new television show called Smallville. It was about the beginnings of Superman.

Now call me a nerd but I've always been into superheros. And when this show aired I knew I had to watch it.

I watched the promo and for the last 10 years have seen every episode. Well there are only two episodes left before the show ends.

But today I found this little gem. The original promo for the pilot episode.

I'm a Runner: Bear Grylls

Runners World has a great interview with Bear Grylls on their site from their May 2011 edition.

Occupation: Host of Man vs. Wild
Age: 36
Residence: Abersoch, U.K.

How did you get started running?
In the military. In the British Special Air Service, combat fitness is all about running. We would go until we ended up vomiting on the side of the road. Once I left the military, I gave up running for a while. It took me a while to realize it doesn't have to be like that. Running can be a great therapeutic way of training. These days I push myself hard, but I also slow down and take it easy sometimes. It doesn't have to be full-on hard all the time.

When did you get back into running?
After the military, I spent a year being really unhealthy, not exercising. I got back into running when I was offered my first commercial [for Degree deodorant]. I thought, If I'm going to have to take my shirt off, I'd better start doing sit-ups and start running.
Later, I got my first TV series [Escape to the Legion], which was about basic training for the French Foreign Legion out in the desert of North Africa. During that time, running was a part of everyday life. We were running two or three times a day. We always had to wear these terrible thin-soled pumps [sneakers]. We had horrific blisters. I just remember these blood-soaked white pumps [sneakers].

Check out the rest of the interview over at Runners World.

No-Hitter!

We just had our first no-hitter in the MLB this year, as Minnesota's Francisco Liriano held the White Sox to a big goose egg in that box after the scoring frame. As baseball fate would have it, Liriano's no-hitter is pretty surprising, all things considered.

Not that the first no-no in the bigs this season was easy, likely or anything resembling pretty. Liriano entered the contest having never thrown a complete game in his six-year career and his season ERA before the game was a chubby 9.13. He had lasted only three innings in his previous start against the Tampa Bay Rays.

My prediction for the next no-hitter in the MLB? Casey Knopik.

May 3, 2011

Eastern's 2010 FCS Championship Rings

Today Eastern Washington University posted on their flikr account a photo of the Championship rings that the football team received.

I think the rings are absolutely awesome!

They feature "the Inferno" of Roos Field on side and the Eastern Eagle logo on the top.

The photo was taken on The Inferno which is just awesome because of course the team went 8-0 including play-off wins on the turf this year. And it all started back in September with the victory over Montana. Which was still the coolest sporting even I have ever been too.

Relive that game today.

What do you think of the rings?

Why I can't root for the Oklahoma City Thunder

The NBA playoffs are currently in the second round and I hope Memphis wins. Not because I'm a Memphis fan but because I can't stand the Oklahoma City Thunder.

I get they are a fun team to watch and in any normal circumstance would be a team I could root for. But since the team is formally the Seattle Supersonics I just can't cheer them on.

I don't understand how so many people in the Seattle area can cheer on this team that was ripped away from the city. I see people wearing Thunder gear and I don't get it. Rooting for the Thunder is like rooting for an ex-girlfriend who cheated on you with the nerdy guy that smells funny and now you're hoping they get married and live happily ever after.

Oklahoma City, you're the nerdy guy that smells funny.

As the years go on the pain from losing the Sonics has slowly gone down. I just really have stopped paying attention to the NBA. But then you see on ESPN things like, "Last Oklahoma City NBA Championship was 1979."

WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?!

No!!!! The last Seattle Supersonics NBA Championship was 1979. And things like that bring that hate for Oklahoma back.

I'm not the only one who feels this way. Check out this article from Greg Bishop in the New York Times.

And I think Bishop pretty much sums up everything with his final paragraph:

But I agreed with Lo when he said the thought of the Thunder’s winning an N.B.A. title made him nauseous. “I’d be so mad,” he said. So would an entire region. Because in this series, whether the Thunder wins, or the Grizzlies win, basketball fans in the Pacific Northwest will lose.

May 1, 2011

Players you don't want to see your team draft

The NFL Draft just happened and no doubt everyone expects to win the Super Bowl with their new acquisitions. While it can be an exciting event, it can also be a gut punch when you're team picks someone you've never heard of from (insert small regional university here) with a beer belly. Here are some players you don't want to see your team draft...

1. He had a terrible senior year but he played well in the bowl game against washed-up team no. 4 - Oh boy, since when does 300 yards and 18-for-20 passing with two touchdowns in a meaningless bowl game against a team that's coach isn't returning actually mean anything? He'll do well against the best players in the world right? Suuureee...

2. After someone's name "from Jester Wild Junior Community College" is spoken - But the scout has a hunch about this one right? Wait he isn't in New York to pick up his jersey on the podium? Why the heck not!?!!?!

3. Anyone from Duke University - Basketball or Football. Either or.

4. A quarterback with a piece of furniture or vegetation in their last name - Stick quarterbacks with states and first names as their last names. It never fails.

5. A name that confuses Mel Kiper Jr. and causes his hairpiece to fall off - Because you know that Kiper has poured over every university's roster for the entire year to prepare for this one event. If this guy's name didn't ring a bell, than chances are your team drafted somebody that should be playing in the indoor football league.

6. A Canadian - I know there is Canadian football, but I'm wondering if the Canadian high schools and colleges play under Canadian rules or you know, play the type of football you can get paid for playing.

7. A French person - Oh boy. If they have "Pierre" in the name, your team is royally screwed.

8. A lineman battling "weight problems" - Because they're about to get millions of dollars to help them with their "weight problems."

10. Osama Bin Laden - I hear his draft stock is plummeting right now...