The reason Griffey retired

Ran across this story on ESPN today. Might want to check it out if you're a Mariners fan and a Griffey-lover. This all makes sense, and I'm glad that Griffey is going to stick with the organization...

Ken Griffey Jr. issued a prepared statement when he suddenly retired from baseball last June -- and didn't say another word about it.

Finally, at spring training Wednesday with the Seattle Mariners, Griffey discussed his reasons for leaving the game and the way he did it, insisting it will be the only time he addresses it.

"I just felt that it was more important for me to retire and instead of being a distraction, it no longer became the Seattle Mariners, it became, 'When is Ken doing this? When is Ken doing that?' and that's something I didn't want to have my teammates, who I truly cared about, having to answer these types of questions day in and day out," Griffey said in Peoria, Ariz.

Griffey reminded reporters that he previously had said when it came time to walk away, he would do it quickly and quietly.

"You want me to apologize for something that I felt was right? I had to do what I thought was right for me," he said.

Griffey was batting .184 with no home runs and seven RBIs when, on June 2, he issued a retirement statement through the Mariners, got in his car and drove home to Orlando, Fla., abruptly ending a 22-season career.

Griffey said Wednesday that he previously had told the Mariners' front office "that if I become a distraction or feel that I would be a distraction, then I would retire, because that's the one thing that I didn't want," according to the Seattle Times.

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Ken Griffey Jr. retires

I saw on KOMO 4 news moments ago that Ken Griffey Jr. has retired.

SEATTLE – The Kid is hanging them up.

Seattle sports icon Ken Griffey Jr. announced his retirement Wednesday, bringing a close to an incredible career that spanned 22 seasons and included 630 home runs and a highlight-reel of catches. Griffey's retirement is effective immediately.

Griffey made his debut with the Mariners in 1989 as a 19-year-old, earning the nickname, "The Kid." He spent the next 11 years as the cornerstone of the Mariners' franchise.

He was traded to Cincinnati in 2000 but returned to Seattle in 2009 to finish his illustrious career.

Griffey's 630 career home runs rank him fifth in the major leagues, and has been a 10-time All-Star, winning the AL MVP in 1997.

Griffey hit 630 home runs in a 22-year career but this season was batting just .184.

Tip of the hat to you Junior. You were THE Seattle athlete while I was growing up. Thanks for the memories.

Griffey refuses to suck

We've been talking about how they should bench Junior for a more productive batter and then he goes and does this...

Griffey hits game-winning hit (and drives in Milton Bradley of all people)

I smell winning streak... okay I don't smell winning streak. Sadly this probably garuntees Griffey's spot in the lineup for at least two more months.

Grandpa Griffey?

Get set for some serious drama, there's a bombshell about to drop in Seattle... Griffey hasn't been the "Mr. Teammate" this year that everyone expected. Now you can forgive his pitiful performance at the plate if he added something to the clubhouse but right now, he's not even doing that. Right now, he sells bobbleheads and that's about it.

That the rocking chair days are creeping near for Griffey doesn't come as much of a surprise. He's hitting .208/.265/.234 with no home runs and only two doubles in 83 plate appearances this season. He has struggled to recover from the left-knee surgery he had in the offseason and that he's 40 years old is evident to anybody who looks at him.

But what is surprising is that it's being reported that Griffey hasn't exactly been the teammate he has continually been touted to be. LaRue writes that there "have been times during games when [Griffey has] retired to the clubhouse, texted friends [and] watched the TV broadcast." Two players also told LaRue that Griffey wasn't available for a pinch-hit opportunity last week because he was asleep in the Mariners clubhouse. Yikes.

Falling asleep in the clubhouse? Was he getting too tired from giving out hugs along with Mike Sweeney. That's ridiculous and it's just in time to really make a poor season in Seattle even worse. Oh woe is the Mariners.

Good Morning Ken Griffey Jr. Fans

Okay, so that's not a photo of Ken Griffey Jr for very obvious reasons, but the Mariners great is coming back for another go-around as the highest paid mascot in the American League. Mascot? Well he certainly isn't getting paid for his performance out on the field...

But if Griffey gets enough playing time to qualify, he seems an early candidate for worst DH of 2010. Father Time has come for The Kid. Since 2005, a comeback year in which he hit 35 homers and played his most games since 2000, he has a pedestrian .801 OPS and 105 OPS+ in 513 games — and he's been due $43.5 million dollars for his services.

He's not getting paid as much as he used to, but he just signed a for slight raise with the Mariners and will make $2.35 million plus incentives. Considering Griffey's stature in the city of Seattle, he's getting paid less for what he'll do on the field and more for his name recognition and clubhouse presence. Still, the M's should expect something from him.

I'll say that even though I didn't expect it (I expected the opposite), Griffey was a fantastic influence on the clubhouse and provided a little bit of glue for the team that was really lacking the year before. That's more than likely while the Mariners brought him back, that and to give fans a recognizable name. Anyone would be crazy to argue his actual statistical positive influence, I mean he got a lot of walks buuuut he was a gaping hole in the lineup so you do the math.

What should we expect from Griffey? Lets set the bar low and then either a letdown wont be such a painful experience and if he does somehow get his groove back, than hey! All the better.

The Kid is back for one more go around

Hey Mariners fans, the kid is back! Today they signed Griffey to a one-year deal for 2010.

Ken Griffey Jr. has reached agreement on a one-year deal to return to the Seattle Mariners in 2010.

The deal is similar to the 2009 contract that paid Griffey a base salary of $2 million and earned him $3.15 million total with incentives, the source said.

"We're tickled pink that he's decided to come back,'' Seattle general manager Jack Zduriencik said from the GMs meetings in Chicago. "He was such a positive role model, if you will, for a lot of players. He likes where we're headed and he likes what's going on here. He's a first ballot Hall of Famer and the greatest player in Seattle Mariners history.''

Last year I though that this was a move to sell tickets. The second time around is also probably to sell tickets but there was a unintended side-effect. The Mariners were much better on the field and in the dugout. It looked like some guys were having fun. Griffey's performance at the plate was pretty awful (he did hit 19 homers though) but he had a good influence on the clubhouse, one that was very fragmented the season before. I never saw that coming, I figured Griffey would be a spoiled star and the seasons of malcontent would continue.  Not the case.

As long as the Mariners aren't counting on him to have a breakthrough year, it's good they have him back.

Thought this was funny

I found this on the Seattle Times today:

Adrian Beltre didn't want to discuss whether or not he'd be wearing a protective cup for Tuesday's start at third base. Beltre is getting fed up with the questions and jokes flying around the past three weeks since he injured a testicle while trying to field a ground ball without the proper equipment.

But while he says he'll never answer that particular question again, manager Don Wakamatsu did the talking for him.

"Adrian will wear a cup tonight," Wakamatsu said before Tuesday's game.

When Beltre came up for his first at-bat, the theme for Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker" was played, a gesture from Ken Griffey Jr., whose MRI on his knee showed no structural damage.

Priceless.

Good Morning Mariner fans! Who's ready to trade?

11-4 loss to the Baltimore Orioles last night. Looks like the Mariners might be sellers after all before the trade deadline. Here's what's up for grabs for teams that are interested...

1. The Mariner Moose - he's had a down season anyways.
2. The deed to Safeco Field - I mean, it's time for the Mariners to play at Qwest Field anyways.
3. A half-dozen Starbucks stores.
4. Carlos Silva?!?! Anyone... we'll throw in a couple of Seagals. NO ONE? WHAT?!!!
5. Ken Griffy Jr.'s fourth chin.

JustSON the Numbers: Seattle Mariners Offensive Inefficiency

Here we are nearing the end of May and the Seattle Mariners are beginning to resemble the team from last year. After an amazing start (for them) the Mariners have cooled off considerably, mostly because of their anemic offense. After beating the Oakland Athletics on May 3rd, Seattle was sitting atop the American League West at 15-10. Since then they are 4-12 and in 3rd place of the American League West.

At the base of this team slump you will find some very silent bats. During the teams 15-10 opening to the season they were averaging about 4.5 runs scored a game. During this 4-12 slump they are down to averaging about 3.2 runs a game. During this stretch the Mariners have been held to 2 runs or fewer in a game 7 times (in 16 games, how can you win?). The team has been giving up about 5.7 runs a game in this same stretch, but don't blame it all on the pitchers, the guys in the field have committed 16 errors in the last 16 games. They are currently 28th out of 30 teams in fielding percentage while the pitchers are 12th out of 30 in team ERA.

Seattle is currently holding up a .253 team batting average which is good for 21st in the majors, oh and that on base percentage, .306, dead last. Even though Ken Griffey Jr. is batting only .238 he at least gets on base (.369 on base average) for the guys behind him not to drive in. The only guys who are really doing anything for them is Ichiro Suzuki of course (.317 average) and Russell Branyan (.305 average, 10 home runs and 20 RBI).

So in conclusion after hours of research the Mariners lineup is not good. Building for the future is what they are doing and I hope they continue.

If anyone has any requests for this column let us know. I don't discriminate, no matter the sport or the stat.

Stat Tracker: Boston Red Sox vs. Seattle Mariners

After spending the day roasting in the sun while photographing a marathon in Spokane, and a heated game of Laser Tag, I spent the later part of the day following the second game of the Boston Red Sox-Seattle Mariners series.

Here's the stat tracker for the game.

2 - Questionable sponsors for the Seattle Mariners broadcasts. First, a Waste Management commercial since apparently garbage men need to advertise these days. That's followed up by a "Tuff Shed" commercial. Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2009 Recession!

1 - pitch that Jason Bay saw before he sent the ball hurtling towards the left field bleachers. Mannywood? No, Baywatch is in season.

42,000 - number of fans attending the game, which is far above their usual "hey! anyone can come in from the streets to make this crowd look bigger" figures. Obviously Red Sox Nation is in full bloom at Safeco Field.

In the hundreds - the decibel level of the voice of Dave Niehaus when Bettencourt hit a two-run homer in the bottom of the second. Although, I didn't hear the obligatory "and it's a four to TWO ballgame."

1 - thing Ken Griffey Jr. and I have in common... neck fat.

1 - more Washington Lottery commercial from and I'll go ape-crazy. Seriously.

5 inches - the width of Red Sox manager Terry Francona's wad of gun in his left cheek. And I know it's gum because he takes the thing out, plays with it and then adds to it.

8 hard hit balls - that the 3rd base side ball girl handled wonderfully. She's a pro. Spokane Indians might want to take a look at her.

20,000 people - crammed into the beer garden of Safeco Field.

2 guys - in that beer garden that have Baltimore Orioles jerseys on. Apparently they're starting on Sunday and Monday for the O's.

Too many times - FSN announcers use the term "tough customer" when talking about batters for Boston. Oh and they mentioned Dustin Pedrioa was the defending 2008 AL MVP only slightly more often than the Spokane Chiefs announced they were the 2008 Memorial Cup Champions. Like we forgot or something.

2 GOOD GOD MOMENTS - I saw a woman in a Yankees' hat taking a photo of Griffey. Apparently she wanted to see somebody in the lineup that was struggling other than Mark Teixeira.

FSN also showed a group of Red Sox fans chanting "ICH - EE -ROW!" along with the rest of the crowd in the bottom of the ninth inning with two outs. Nope. No Bandwagon to see here folks. Move along. Move along.

.207 - Batting average of Ken Griffey Jr. In case you were keeping track at home.

3, 698 - times I've seen Adrain Beltre foul off a pitch into his shin. This does not count towards his slugging percentage.

Seattle's Betancourt Draws First Walk of Year!!

Yuniesky Betancourt of your Seattle Mariners has drawn his first free pass of the year, and it only took him 26 games to get there. Now for the first time all year Betancourt's on base percentage is higher than his batting average (.302 to .298). In comparison, Ken Griffey Jr. is currently batting .108 points lower than Yuniesky but Griffey still has a .036 point lead in on base average.

Pitchers have tried to intentionally walk Betancourt a few times already this year but they can't seem to get the ball out of his strike zone without throwing a wild pitch. The way Yuni drew this walk was a combination of manager Don Wakamatsu tying Betancourt's hands behind his back and the Rangers catcher standing in the Mariners on deck circle when relief pitcher Frank Francisco delivered the pitches. Still Betancourt got the count to 3-2 before eventually losing his balance at the plate and falling down when ball 4 was delivered.

At this rate Betancourt should end up with about 6 walks this year. Casey, with his obsession of gambling is already taking bets on the over/under.

Give Griffey the Stone Cold treatment

.171

That's Ken Griffey Jr.'s batting average with two home runs and two RBIs. Tonight he went 0-3 with two strikeouts in Seattle's 9-3 loss to Tampa Bay.

While the Mariners' didn't exactly bring in Griffey to be their offensive horse - it was to sell tickets - they're going to have to do something if he continues to be a gaping hole in the lineup.

Solution? Let me tell you a story of the WWE wrestler called Stone Cold Steve Austin. You see, Austin became incredible popular during what we could call pro wrestling's golden age.

However, poor Austin - at the peak of his popularity in 2003- his body just couldn't take it anymore.

But they just couldn't shelve him. Here's a hall-of-famer wrestler and they just couldn't drop the guy off the radar so suddenly.

Instead the WWE cut any sort of in-ring wrestling and basically had him run around performing antics and gag stunts, usually ending with him using the "stunner" on Vince McMahon. He drove beer trucks into the ring, ATVs into the ring, threw beer into the crowd, drove other vehicles into the ring and generally just raised all sorts of hell.

The WWE had found a loophole. Stone Cold wasn't actually wrestling anymore, but he was still a presence. A presence that the home crowd loved. And this what they should do for Griffy. Let him suit up, run around Safeco Field with a cooler full of beer. Griffey can drive a freakin' Monster Truck onto the diamond for all I care, he's Ken Griffey Jr., People would love that.

Except for the grounds crew.

And an added point of entertainment, they could build up an on-going feud with Bud Selig and just have Griffey use the "stunner" on Selig for in-between inning promotions.

Now I'd pay 40 bucks to see that.

Washburn's performance last night

Something stuck in my mind last night during the Mariners' 4-2 victory over the Tampa Bay Devil Rays last night about Jarrod Washburn's pitching performance. Now I've been the Randy Quaid in Major League 2 of the M's since they started the season off hot. All the talk about Griffey and how they could bounce back and blah, blah, blah.

Well I'm not wrong on Griffey... he's hitting .184 and the biggest impact he's had on the team so far is getting the 20,000 or so fans at Safeco Field on their feet before every one of his at-bats - and then striking out to silence them. 

However, Jarrod Washburn's start last night was electric. I already posted the stat line because and if the Mariners can keep getting starts like from their pitchers, they may have a legitimate shot at the division title.

Now that being said, Jarrod's start was like step 4 of a 56-step process. It's kind of like if you're an alcoholic and you've just switched to light beer in the process of becoming sober. 

Promising, but the Mariners aren't there yet.

Jarrod was good. My family by default are Mariners fans, and they were over last night taking in the game on FSN (Which apparently has the Mariners, replays Sounders FC games and then re-re-replays the 4A State basektball high school championship game, that's it), and that's what they've been doing for most of the season so far. And judging from their reaction, Jarrod is really good.

First, there's my grandpa who curses at Griffey and everyone else that screws up. Also, in an unrelated topic, he can't stand Derek Jeter and I have yet to uncover the orgin of this hatred - but that's cool with me. He was practically on his feet dancing after every Washburn strike out.

Then my parents usually sit their quietly and behave themselves. Washburn's start was different. I thought the neighbors were going to call with noise complaints because they were cheering so loudly. And this is on television, mind you. And it's funny when a player does such a good job you start talking to him from your living room and refering to him in first person as if you're having some sort of Mufasa in the clouds talking to Simba effect going on.

"Come on Jarrod, come on Jarrod..." 

And yes, being the Red Sox fan of the family, I caught some trash for proclaiming that the Mariners just won't be able to keep it up. Oh well. 

We'll see, plenty of season left, but if we keep seeing Washburn doing things like that - there just might be some hope in Seattle after all.

Northern Rangers: The search for Bigfoot

The Pacific Northwest is home to a variety of creatures. Some more popular than others. Slugs, moss and Ken Griffey Jr. are big but nothing is more talked about in the area than Sasquatch (or big foot). Sasquatch, who shouldn't be mistaken for John Travolta in battlefield earth, has appeared in many movies including Harry and the Hendersons.

And while Harry was plenty famous for a Sasquatch, no Sasquatch got more tv time than Squatch.

Long had we seen the furry phenomenon roaming around the Seattle SuperSonics bench. His pastime included launching t-shirts into the crowd of the Key Arena and scaring other NBA players. However, when the team up and moved, it appeared the furry guy didn't make the trek down to Oklahoma City.

He dropped out of public life. The Sonics move caused him to stop attending his Monday night bowling league and occasionally pulling his signature practical joke by eating the neighbor's dog.

He traded in his larger than Shaq sneakers for his bare feet and disappeared into the woods around Mount Rainier.

This got the Northern Rangers of Just South of North thinking, what happened to Squatch? We decided to see if we could do what no cryptozoologist has done before: find Bigfoot.

Brandon covered the east part of the state, while Casey scoured the western half.

Brandon first started in Spokane, famous for it's Gonzaga Bulldogs and strange inhabitants that roam the streets - known as Spokies. He figured Sasquatch could easily blend in with this very non judgemental crowd.

After staking out downtown Spokane, the only thing Brandon caught was a nasty case of frostbite (have you been in eastern Washington in February? yikes) and an awkward run in with a lady wearing a very large fur coat. She didn't have to call the cops, it was an honest mistake.

Meanwhile, in western Washington Casey wasn't having much luck either. He had decided to start at the last place anyone had seen the Sasquatch--Key Arena. Upon entering, Casey was shocked to see the musical "Oklahoma" being performed. He decide the air was a bit chilly, and stayed to watch.

He then realized that the actors were actually the former players of the Western Washington University football program. They were still on scholarship even after the University canceled the sport and had to do something involving extracurricular activities.

With that, Casey got up and left. He decided that looking for Sasquatch on a cold night would be more beneficial.

Back on the eastside, Brandon was busy tracking what he thought to be Sasquatch tracks along the Spokane River. It actually just turned out to be a large goose that he had been tracking. Upon seeing Brandon the goose attacked. After fending off the beast, and finding some Neosporin to treat all the peck marks he had, Brandon seriously considered giving up on the search. He called Casey and decided that the Northern Rangers were a lot like the Scooby Doo characters, they worked a lot better together then when they split up.

Brandon arrived in Seattle to meet Casey at Starbucks. Little did he know that in Seattle there is a Starbucks on every corner. After wandering into about 47 Starbucks he finally stumbled into the correct Starbucks with considerable bewilderment, Brandon wondered why Casey was just sitting and sipping a Latte. Casey also was wondering, wondering why Brandon had peck marks all over his body.

"Why aren't you looking for Sasquatch?" asked Brandon.

"Well, actually I got bored and got on Facebook instead," replied Casey. "And much to my amazement, guess who I found on here?"

"Hannah Montana?"

"Nope, one more guess."

"Ross Perot?"

"Well, yes, but I found him last week. No, Sasquatch."

Brandon quickly switched to the "About me section" and the Northern Rangers saw that Sasquatch's current location, thanks to the social networking site, was rooming with Bill Buckner in Idaho.

We had finally tracked down the elusive creature known across the globe

After putting much thought into it, we decided that the best thing to do would be to sell the big guy's location to the highest bidder. After all, we were freelance journalists and could use the extra money. I wonder what happened to him after that?

Well, you know we're all about the outdoors here at JustSON, so any chance to conserve nature... save the planet... all that stuff.

Ah who are we kidding, Brandon has already eaten a half-pallet of Sasquatch Jerky. Maybe he'll inherit Squatch's basketball abilities and be able to jump more than two inches. Either that or he'll actually be able to grow in a full beard now. We'll see...

Ken Griffey Jr. signing is a scam

Our new friends over at Tailgate 365.com have an interesting commentary over the Ken Griffey Signing in Seattle. This should be a nice change of pace over the absolute oogling the local media has been doing for the past two weeks. 

Mike Whaley gives the skinny on the reality about the Griffey signing.

Griffey will not be in Seattle to lead this team to the playoffs in 2009. As much as I love this future Hall of Famer his production has fallen off way too much for that to happen. 

And let's face reality here, when you get past the age of 37, 38 or 39 your production IS suppose to decline. All steroids users please take note of this fact. The simple truth of the matter is that the Seattle Mariners signed Griffey because they are too cheap to go out and sign some good free  agents to try to get back to the post season. 

Seattle's signing of Griffey was no more than a scam to sell tickets. 

Yeah it's a feel good story as well, but this team will make millions from this signing and still be on the outside looking in come October. If Seattle fans just want to feel good they get their wish with this signing. If they are hungry to get back to the playoffs they should feel insulted and used by the management of the Mariners.

I think Mike just nailed this one out of the ballpark. FLY FLY AWAY! And after hearing nothing but Griffey! Griffey! Griffey! for a while, I've got to say that I agree with him.

Problem is, I don't think Northwest fans care. They know they're getting used, but they appreciate that Jr. put this team on the map back in the mid-nineties and is now coming back for one more ride. Some are being realistic. 

Some are not.

I was listening to ESPN Radio 700 AM in Spokane the other day and "Patchin and the Wingmen" had a discussion about Griffey and how much of an excellent clubhouse leader he'll be.

And I have to disagree, since when has Griffey been a clubhouse leader? He's been a prankster, he's been a guy that lightens the mood but Griffey has never been a clubhouse "leader". Ever hear of the story of how he gets two lockers, a recliner and Nintendo in the clubhouse? Sounds somewhat Bondish.

He's going to do his own thing, like he always does. That's not going to change.

Junior certainly commands respect, but I don't think he'll quite be the mentoring father that some fans expect him to be. And why would he? When has he ever been a mentoring figure. Never! His nickname is "The kid!"

So thanks Mike! I wish the Northwest media had as much sense as Reds fans do.

Moves that the Mariners should make...

Alright so now that the Mariners have brought back a certain aging outfielder to the team, they're gonna be good right? If you think 70 wins is good, which would mean that you're probably a Pittsburgh Pirates fan.

The Seattle Mariners are going to have to do a few more things to get my vote and ticket-buying money.

1. Trade Ichiro Suzuki
He's in his prime, he doesn't add any power to the lineup and he plays an unimportant defensive position. I heard this from Colin Cowherd on ESPN this morning and I was like "WHAAAT?!" but after further thought, while he gets on base a lot, he really can't do anything else. He gets singles, and singles don't win ballgames. You could easily trade him for an exceptional player in a more important spot on the field and feel an immediate impact.

The Mariners also made him their highest paid player. WHY? He's not scoring any runs in no one else can hit the ball.

2. Don't let the Mariner Moose decide who's going to pitch
Okay the Mariners have Felix, who is solid. Brandon Morrow, who is promising and then we have a rotation that would make the 1962 Mets giggle. Wonderful.

(And if anyone says Rowland-Smith, you're a dumb, dumb person)

3. Have a Kingdome remembrance night
Put a large plastic lid on top of Safeco Field and slant all the seats so they are pointed away from home plate. Pump in a bunch of air conditioning, and turn down the lights. Mariner fans will love the nostalgia of watching Griffey in a enclose, dark, cold and uncomfortable building.

4. Stop paying overweight players to play baseball
Apparently the Mariners don't have to worry about steriods, just about all the missing bacon from the pregame spread.

The Kid comes home

It has finally happened. Seattle sports has finally made a complete revolution. One of the most popular Mariners (if not THE most popular) is coming back. That's right Ken Griffey Jr. and the M's have agreed to a 1-year deal that sends the 39-year-old batter back to where his career started.

Now this move makes a lot of sense from a PR standpoint for the Mariners. Last season the team lost over 100 games, yet still had the 7th best attendance record. With Griffey back in the lineup, more and more fans will want to go to the games just to see him in his final year.

But, from a win games standpoint I just can't make sense of this. Maybe I'm missing something, but I think the Mariners have much larger problems than just putting butts in the seats. How about some pitching, or some hitting, or some catching. Heck, how about just winning some games.

Last season was absolutely terrible. And while the signing of Jr. doesn't seem like a fix, it certainly helps to block that bad season with memories of the good ol' days. Because what Seattle fan can forget Griffey rounding third to slide into home and beat the dreaded Yankees in the 1995 Playoffs? And then seeing the team pile onto Griffey, his patented smile beaming. Welcome back 24.

Now Mariners, let's bring back the "Refuse To Loose" mentality from 1995 too.

God, I need a baseball fix.

That's why I'm going to shower you with a crapload of baseball links.

The Real Crash Davis -- unfortunately, that means he sleeps with Susan Sarandon. This is one thing that always bugged me about the movie Bull Durham. Great, great, great baseball movie, but I just don't think Susan Sarandon is attractive. She's got nursing home looks and is just a blatant wacko in real life. She's up there with the girl from Top Gun as the most un-hot hot girls in movies.

Griffey is going to the White Sox -- and reportedly, will still wear his cap backwards.

And if you haven't heard about it, which means you're really stupid, Manny Ramirez has been traded to the LA Dodgers (where he'll reunite with NOOOMAAARRRR) in a three-team trade that has Jason Bay going to Boston from the Pirates.

You can't see me right now but I'm doing the Peter Griffen "SHIPOOPI" dance. This is exactly the move that the Sox needed to make. There's a reason why they've won two World Series.

Game On

Alright, we've back playing regular season baseball after a pretty impressive All-Star Game. Here's a couple of predictions I've got for the rest of the season. Tell me if I'm being too obvious or not.

The Yankees will make a run in the second half followed by roughly thirty "The Yankees are back!" articles by Sports Illustrated and ESPN.com

Should we really go through the whole charade of being surprised. The Yankees do this every year, and people got crazy everytime it happens. Come on, it's like the inevitable Ken Griffey Jr. injury (god bless his heart) or a Lou Pineilla freak out.

The Montreal Expos will make a comeback in the standings

A team that has been defunct for years now due to bad stadium attendance and basically being the farm system for the New York Yankees has got to be in better shape than the 36-60 Washington Nationals.

Baseball in our nation's capital? Still sucks.

The Mariners continue to suck

Duh, but at least they got rid of Ritchie Rich.

GRIFF-TASTIC

He did it. 600 Homers. Congrats to Ken Griffey Jr.

I can remember playing kickball and softball in grade school and sometimes we'd pretend to be our favorite baseball players. Kids would actually get into fights over who got to be Griffey.

I'd always end up being John Abbott for some reason.

How cool is Griffey Jr. regardless of what team you root for? This cool.