September 30, 2008

Mad Ants are mad cool

Ok, ok. I'll admit it. I watch One Tree Hill. Now yes, that show is on the CW, and the network is generally geared toward the 16-30 year old women, but that's besides the point.

Anyway, on last nights episode I became aware of perhaps the sweetest team nickname in the history of sports.

The Fort Wayne Mad Ants.

Super original. Original is good. And what's even cooler is that the name came from the public.

This is straight from a press release on their SITE.

June 18, 2007 - The Fort Wayne NBA D-League team is proud to announce its highly anticipated team name. Our “Name the Team” promotion allowed fans to choose from four names – Coyotes, Fire, Lightning and Mad Ants.

The Fort Wayne community voiced their opinion and the Mad Ants was their clear favorite. A live broadcast took place tonight on Indiana’s NewsCenter 21 with Team President Jeff Potter revealing the team name and official logo.

Here's where the name comes from.

The team held a name-the-team contest on their website where fans could vote on one of the four finalists: Lightning, Fire, Coyotes, and Mad Ants. The winning name of Mad Ants was announced on June 18th, and is a salute to the city's and fort's namesake, General "Mad" Anthony Wayne.

So, a sweet name and a bad ass logo, AND this is the D league! What more could a new team hope for? No THUNDER maybe? Well, maybe if the NBA ever returns to Seattle, the new owners can take note.

September 28, 2008

How I know I'm old

Just a few months removed from graduation I can see it's only downhill from here. Here's a couple of signs I might as well get the tombstone payment plan down.

- I'm in a bowling league, getting beat by an 80-year old woman with a limp and hair that reminds your of Marge Simpson.

- The highlight of my week is the College football pick em' game I play on ESPN.

- I watch the local news, because you know, I want to know whats going on in the neighborhood.

- I refer to high schoolers as those "meddling kids"

- Drinking gives me hangovers. I don't like hangovers anymore. Therefore I'm thinking about switching to Milwaukee's Best Light.

- My knees crack more than the US economy.

- I find myself doing the whole "this place has changed so much" monologue... for Cheney, Spokane and Chewelah. It gets really sad when I drive by empty buildings and remember what business use to be in there.

- I like reading old newspaper articles.

- I quote John Wayne.

- 10:30 is getting a little late for me unless I'm at work.

- The highlight of my mornings is getting coffee.

- All I want to do is go fishing or hunting.

- Movies are too violent and have too much sex in them these days.

September 26, 2008

Kind of like the Colts postseason hopes...

Not to get too mean here since Casey is a Colts fan but they deflated the roof of the RCA Dome, the former home of the Indianapolis Colts in preparation for its implosion. Now I'm not one to really judge (yes I am), but the dome was built in 1984 and apparently it's already outdated.

Which means (since I was born in 1985) I'm about one year from implosion myself.

At 1-2, the Indianapolis Colts have shown they can't win in their new stadium, Lucas Oil Stadium, so perhaps they should just ask the city to reinflate the roof and move back into their old stadium.

Then Lucas Oil Stadium could host tractor pulls, swap meets, gun shows and whatever else people do in Indiana.

I mean there new stadium looks like a gymnasium at the local YMCA, not a cold, heartless NFL stadium with no distinct features whatsoever intended to strike fear in foes and fans alike. And it doesn't have a pirate ship. What the hell?

September 25, 2008

Congrats Mariners!

Yeah, it's a rough time for the Seattle and Washington sports scene. The Sonics are gone, UW is terrible, WSU is horrible (seriously, running up the score on Portland State is not an accomplishment) and then there are the Mariners.

Yes, the Mariners. Who many picked to challenge the Anahiem Angles for American West title. Instead, they became the first team in league history to loose 100 games with a $100 million payroll.

Oh well, there is ALWAYS next year.

September 24, 2008

Two peas in a pod

Check this out. It's just creepy. Straight off the Associated Press.

BANGOR, Maine - A television news anchor in Maine who looks a lot like Sarah Palin says she's been getting "hate mail and nasty phone calls."

Cindy Michaels from WVII-TV has long brown hair that she sometimes wears up in a style similar to Palin's, and she also wears glasses on occasion.

Michaels says some viewers recently began accusing her of trying to copy Palin's style or, worse, somehow trying to subliminally sway votes.

While smarting over accusations of bias, Michaels says she's generally flattered by the comparisons to Palin. Michaels describes her as a "beautiful woman."

Here are my suggestions to Cindy Michaels:

Wear your hair down: Seriously, that bun thing. Out!

Those glasses: Yeah.......

There is no way that this look was worn by more than one woman. No way.

September 21, 2008

Six-man football

I saw a teaser for this story by in Sports Illustrated... and man, I thought Chewelah was a small town but boy was I wrong.

The town of Arthur, Nebraska has 145 citizens; 34 attend Arthur County High, of whom 19 are boys. Of those, 16 are on the roster of the Arthur County High Wolves' six-man football team. Six-man football is far removed from the world of the NFL. The dimmensions of the field are 40 yards by 80 yards, and the rules are different, too. Field goals are worth four points and a team must gain 15 yards for a first down. But that doesn't change the players' passion for the game. In Arthur County, putting on the pads is all about a love for the game and a love for the community.

If you're wondering how 6-man football is player, here's a link to the Wiki article. And of course, there's a video story by SI on the Arthur, Nebraska team.

September 19, 2008

Strike up the GIT-TAR!

I've been having a music crisis lately. My iPod absolutely sucks and while driving around, most of the stuff I listen to is sports talk radio, which is enough to make me feel like grabbing a ham sandwich and talking about the New York Jets. I mean what kind of music is good to listen to anymore?

Rap -- Three letters... E.W.O. ... nuff said. If you don't get the joke, remember the movie "Kill Bill Part Two" where Uma Thurman gets shot in the chest with ground salt? That's the current state of rap right now. If I can have my own rap song, you get a picture of the wonderful state of the art form at the moment.

Emo-punk rock -- I have every one of these cds in a world. But, how many songs can you listen about a sexually confused singer whining about their girlfriend? A lot apparently. But what if you're single? What the hell do you complain about then?

Rock -- There hasn't been a good rock song since the 1980s.

Anthing coming out of Seattle -- Actually without the Pacific Northwest in the early 1990s, we probably wouldn't even be listening to music right now. We might just have a bunch of Rush Limbaugh on our iPods.

Pop -- Actually, wonderful stuff. Now if Brittney Spears can just find a way to get pregnant again.

But really, popular music has ran into a big stinkhole of creativity, and everytime i turn on the FM radio, my ears start to feel like Tiger Woods' knee during the US Open. And today's musicians really kind find anything better to do except complain, which when you're making millions of dollars... is annoying.

Luckily there's hope. I'm switching my music genre to perhaps an unpopular form of media among my peers. Country music is not only upbeat, but also patriotic. It's also catchy. If you don't like country music you're unamerian, or you probably don't actually work for a living. But hey, keep listening to that five-year old mix CD in your car since nothing any better has come up in that same time period.

I'm getting my cowboy hat sized tomorrow.

September 18, 2008

George Feeny or really KITT

I was watching Knight Rider, not the new one, but the old school one with David Hasselhoff. And something dawned on me. The voice of KITT is also the voice of Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World.

IMDB confirmed my suspision. William Daniels did the voice of KITT. Awesome.

Oh, and the new Knight Rider starts on Wednesday, September 24th at 8 P.M.

What shows are you most looking forward to as the Fall Lineup begins?

September 17, 2008

Reasons that your still single...

You have a private tank collection in your backyard. Sure, it's kind of cool, but how do you pick up girls at the bar?

"Hey honey, want to come back to my place and check out my tanks?"

Epic Photo: Mullet

This man is my hero.

September 16, 2008

Epic Photo: Husky Stadium

This is Husky Stadium when it collapsed during a late 1980s rennovation and expansion. I bet you this is what fans think of the place right now after an 0-3 start.

September 12, 2008

Rushing the field...

I mean it's a terrible football conference in general, since there are not part of the BCS, but it appears that their administrators are equally as incompetant as their football teams. C-USA has fined the upstart East Carolina University because fans rushed the field...

The State Bureau of Investigation is looking into reports that some police used excessive force on football fans during East Carolina's dramatic win last weekend against West Virginia.

Officials said Friday that the SBI will consider video that shows fans being knocked down and punched by officers as fans rushed the field after the Pirates' 24-3 upset win over the then-No. 8 Mountaineers.

East Carolina is being fined $10,000 by Conference USA after football fans charged the field.

The conference said Friday the school violated a policy that prohibits public access to competition areas until the visiting team and officials are in the locker rooms.

Isn't rushing the field or court a common part of college athletics? I remember when Eagle fans did it when EWU made it to their first NCAA Tournament ever in basketball. Trust me, there's no stopping thousands of students and fans jumping onto the field. Unless of course you want to have a crowd control staff equal to the size or bigger than the amount of fans in the stadium. That's just stupid, C-USA, why would you punish a school that's making your conference actually revelant?

And ironically the state investigating the university for using excessive force trying to stop people from rushing the field?

I don't know how they do it in Carolina, but isn't it normal for a fan that rushed to field to get a load of smackdown for their stupidity. This who situation seems to contradict itself.

And does anyone remember what a field-rushing is like at Ohio State? The cops surrounded the field goal posts and had fire hoses that shot out mace into the home crowd.

Look up at the picture above this post. The Pac-10 is cool with it. You know, a real college football conference.

September 11, 2008

That NFL Fan

With the NFL in full swing and everyone slowly getting into football mode, the plethora of annoying fans have once again awoken from their summer hibernation. Usually unshaven and slightly overweight, these people are the reason you’d rather just watch the game at home in front of your flat screen.

That Raiders fan

They’re drawn to the rebel nature of the Raiders. They believe that the Oakland boys stand for something mean, something tough, something that harkens back to the old school days of football.

In actuality, the only thing the Raiders are is terrible.

That Patriots fan

Keep sharp objects away from them. Also keep any Jets paraphernalia under lock and key. And don’t mention anything that rhymes with “Brady.”

That Seahawks fan

Plotting to kidnap Josh Brown before the Seahawks-Rams game is a little extreme. Especially when they’re planning to wear their Shaun Alexander jerseys to frame the former NFL MVP.

That Eagles fan

Can they put the cheesesteak down? Please? They’re dripping it all over the remote. And they have no right to undo the top button on their jeans because they’re full.

That Cowboy fan

They’ve got a receiver that’s drawn to trouble and a quarterback that’s dating Daisy Duke. They’ve got a guy that makes it rain in strip clubs. They have a coach that looks like Yoda.

And for some reason they’re not worried about their team at all. Are they on anti-depressants?

That Texans fan

Still looking for one…

That Packers fan

Did anyone tell them that Favre is playing for the Jets? Wearing his jersey is kind of akward, especially for the Packer’s management. He’s not on the team anymore. Wait, they’re all wearing Favre jerseys? Serious?

That Jets fan

They need to wipe that smile of their faces…

That Bills fan

Funny how they all seem to come out of the woodwork in Spokane after Buffalo beat Seattle.

That Red Wings fan

How the hell did they get in this list? It’s cause they’re annoying no matter what sport you’re a fan of.

That Lions fan

Here’s the sad part about these kind of people. They’re everywhere and they’re mentally insane. Hope that makes you feel safe.

That Steelers fan

Here’s the annoying part about these kind of people. They’re everywhere and they have a moustache.

That BC Tigers fan

Go back to Canada

Western Washington, you suck

So I went onto Western Washington's website to see what the school had to offer in terms of athletics... after all EWU is playing them in two weeks at Woodward Field. And I came across these pictures of their BLUE CREW which is apparently their fan section at home games.

Your eyes are closed.

Is that your parents? Did you bring your parents to a football game and sit in the student section? Is the student section actually just made up of student's parents? Seriously?

And now ladies and gentlemen... EWU football fans:

Enjoy the game Viking fans!

September 10, 2008

Back on the Market

I have been a faithful Seattle Seahawks fan for 23 years now. I have loved them when they were horrible and I couldn't watch a home game thanks to the NFL blackout rule. (I grew up 42 miles from Seattle so it falls in the 100 mile blackout radius of non-soldout games). I would instead listen to them on the radio.
I was a Seahawk fan when nobody else was. And I figured I always would be. Until their latest actions. No, I'm not talking about the loss. As a Seahawks fan I have gotten used to the losses. Instead I am talking about the players they just cut. One of which was my favorite: Ryan Plackemeier.

Plackemeier joined the team from Wake Forest and not only did he have a cool name, but he was a punter. And nobody's favorite player is ever the punter, so he became mine.

It wasn't his fault the Hawks lost by 24 points to the Bills. But I guess Holmgren needed someone to blame the loss on. Heaven forbid he blame it on his quarterback Matt Hasselbeck who was just plain awful during the loss. Or the defense that gave up 34 points.

They also released Justin Forsett. This move makes no sense. With all the injuries at receiver and Mo Morris out, who will return punts? Yeah, let's get rid of the one guy who did the best during pre-season at that position.

But the Hawks had hoped to place Forsett, who did amazing all preseason long, on their practice squad. But the Colts saw he was availible and snatched him up. Good for him. And good for the Colts. Stupid Seahawks.

The release of these two players caused me to have flashbacks to 2002 when the Hawks let go of the best punt and kickoff returner in franchise history in Charlie Rogers. In just three seasons with the Hawks he covers the return records. He was my favorite player, yet they let him get scooped up by the Houston Texans when they came into the league.

Because of the release of Ryan Plackemeier, I don't know if I can be a Seahawks fan anymore. So, I am taking suggestions on who will be my new favorite team. Here are a few exceptions:

I have loved the Colts since Manning joined them 11 years ago. That was because I liked him at Tennessee. So I have become used to them being my second favorite team. Let's find me a new favorite team.

No Cowboys, Raiders, Packers, Bears, Patriots or Steelers: Cause I hate all those teams WAY too much to ever like them.

No Broncos: Cause that's my girlfriend's favorite team and besides, who likes Denver anyway?

No Giants: Cause people only like them outside of New York cause they won a Super Bowl.

No Dolphins, Chiefs, Falcons, Lions, 49ers, Cardinals or Rams: Cause these teams are just terrible.

No Vikings, Panthers, Saints or Bengals: Too many fair weather fans each year.

No Titans: That's Brandon's team. Don't even want to touch that one.

No Texans: Don't like that state.

No Jets, Bills, Eagles or Ravens: Don't want to like an East Coast team.

No Browns: Who likes the Browns?

No Redskins: That's my dad's favorite team. Can't like them too.

No Jaguars or Buccaneers: Again, east coast and Florida.

That leaves me with just one team.

They are a west coast team. And have the sweetest powder blue uniforms. I guess I am now a SAN DIEGO CHARGERS fan.

So Chargers first, then Colts second. I like this. So long Seahawks, I'll always hold a special place in my heart for you. And who knows, once Holmgren leaves, maybe we can see each other again.

Until then, you will be my 3rd team. Sad day.

September 7, 2008

How the Patriots plan to replace Tom Brady

Well now that the Patriot's season is absolutely dicked without Tom Brady, they're going to have to find a way to replace him since their backup might as well be the hot dog guy that hangs out in downtown Spokane. Here's some suggestions:

Bring in Shane Falco
I know he had a bad Sugar Bowl, but Ohio State always chokes in the big games. You can't put in squarely on the shoulders of Falco. Besides, he also leads the league in hooking up with semi-attractive side love story cheerleaders and knocking the opposing mascot out with a tight spiral.

Just direct snap it to Randy Moss every play
Make sure he's driving his Escalade and put a police officer and a bag of cannibis in the endzone and Moss will score every single time.

Jeff George
Why not? Everyone else in the league has had him on the roster at one point or another. And the potential Bill Bellichick/Jeff George sideline arguement would be epic.

A drunk monkey
Pay him in peanuts, give him a funny hat and people will come out to the stadium to watch it. At the very least this would be a better choice than Jeff George and still better than most of the quarterbacks in the NFC.

Dante Culpepper
Forget Chris Simms. Besides, New England isn't that far from the water, and we all know Culpepper loves to spend some "fun times" near the water.

Reasons why you're still single

- You celebrated after scoring the game-tying touchdown, causing referees to flag you and back the extra point up 15 yards. Then the extra point is missed. COUGH COUGH Jake Locker COUGH COUGH

- You're a Wazzu fan.

- You're an EWU grad but you wont buy season tickets this season to their football games. Actually, you'll probably just buy up 15 seats in the student section once they make the Div. I-AA playoffs.

- You're a Nebraska Cornhusker fan.

September 6, 2008

September 5, 2008

Epic Video: Last game at Yankee Stadium

A perfect look at Yankee fans.

NFL Football is here!

Which means we can basically forget about how much the Mariners suck and look forward to seeing Mike Holmgren do his best papa smurf impression on the sidelines. Just so you don't end up with turf toe, I've come up with an NFL survival guide for the season.

Don't mention the Pats one loss last season to a Pats fan
Although do mention that Tom Brady is wearing a booty. Not a boot, a booty.

Break up with your significant other
Unless of course she goes shopping on Sunday. Now I'm waiting for the "Brandon, you need a girlfriend" emails in five, four, three, two one...

Don't tell me that college football is better
Because it's not, it's a completely different sport. If the BCS decided who went to the Super Bowl and NFL squads could play warmup games against high school teams, then you might have an argument, otherwise just be quiet.

Root for Jim Zorn
If you're from the state of Washington, you will root for the head coach of the Redskins. I mean they stunk against the Giants but you've got to love Jim Zorn.

Ignore the Super Bowl Predictions
Because nobody on national television has a stinkin' clue. Do you think they watch sports once they get off work? No, they go to the bar and hit on high schoolers. Mark Chumura might have a second career...

Send an email to Brett Favre urging him to change his name to Cuatro.
That would be... awesome.

September 4, 2008

Reasons why you're still single

You wear a Colts Manning jersey to the Giants vs. Redskins game. Wrong Manning buddy.

Chad Ocho Cinco

Every blogger everywhere is filling their pages full of talk about Chad Ocho Cinco. Yeah, the wide receiver formally known as Chad Johnson.

Well, in honor of Chad Ocho Cinco, we here at Just South of North think the man is a genius. And as such have decided to change our names.

Despite our best attempts, we were unable to top "Eight Five." And decided to just go eat some food in Riverfront Park, Spokane, Washington.

Anyway, leave some comments on name suggestions. Who knows, we might just listen to one. (But probably not)

Oh, and by the way, Thunder is official. The Oklahoma City Thunder. As I said before. Thunder is basically an atmospheric fart. In other words, what Clay Bennett did in the face of Seattle. So the name is perfect.

September 3, 2008

Street Racing in Spokane

Since I've graduated from college and the chance to go party and tear down a street sign or two has sadly passed by, all the excitement in my life has left. Luckily, I've taken to street racing in Spokane. If you wonder why all those cars are sitting at stoplights reving their engine it's because they're about to rap the sh** out of their Honda civic to beat the guy next to them up the street. It's a tough and mean culture that I have sadly fallen into.

My car -- a 1994 Ford Taurus with a failing U-joint and transmission is the perfect vehicle for street racing in Spokane. It has two holes in the plastic bumpers, one hole which i have plugged up with a pop can for added effect. I merely pull up to a stoplight blaring "Hamster Dance" to announce my presence.

Once all the 16-18 year olds in their vastly inadequate cars scoff at my music choice... I merely beat them off the line.

By running the red light. My 0-60 time in the Taurus is a little slow.

And then I finish the night by stopping by the local gathering of street racers in front of "Babies R' Us" on North Division Street, playing this jewel of a song.

You'll all be happy to know that I've only been shot at once or twice.