Our thoughts on college football in Week One...

-East Carolina University is the Pirates. And they did a mighty job of raiding and pillaging the win from Virgina Tech. Yarg!

- The game was played in Charlotte, N.C. at the Carolina Panthers' Bank of America Stadium. Despite the fact that it was supposed to be something of a "home game" for the Pirates (Carolina is in their school name for heaven's sake), the place was packed with Virginia Tech fans. Then after some research, Charlotte is actually closer to Blacksburg where VT is located (160 miles) compared to ECU's Greenville home address (which was 250 miles away). Go figure.

- With every 10 hard hits that Jake Locker takes, he loses a year of his life. In the loss to Oregon he lost 12 years.

- There's only one thing more inaccurate than Miss Cleo's tarot card readings... Jake Locker's passes.

- Paul Wulff has left Cheney, and in doing so seemed to have added a few pounds. But maybe it was just that the cameras add 57 pounds.

- or maybe it's the fact that several players for the Cougars have either been arrested or suffered season-ending injuries. That or he can actually eat now on the salary that WSU gives him.

- Also, if you watched the game, how many times did they cut to Wulff pacing back and forth on the sidelines at Quest with a perturbed look on his face?

- Michigan is terrible, no matter who is the coach.

- And what's really sad is that Utah beating the Wolverines is not an upset.

- Penn State however crushed their opponent, with the same coach they've had for the past 100 years.

- And speaking of old coaches, did anyone catch Dr. Lou during ESPN gameday? We'll be tuning into that on a weekly basis.

- Eastern Washington University put up 24 points on Texas Tech, which was more points than Washington State University and the University of Washington put up together.

- And yet WSU and UW refuse to play the Eagles in a playdown game.

- LSU is better than Michigan. But it took blowing App. State out of the water to prove that. Wait, no didn't. Michigan is terrible.

- There is talk of making the Big Ten a FCS conference.

- Chattanooga put up 2 whole points on Oklahoma, and allowed 52 points. Washington plays Oklahoma in two weeks. This is not going to be pretty. Final score: Oklahoma 112, Washington -4.

- That's going to be off of one field goal and an extra point.

- Cal Poly has a football team. Yeah, I was surprised too. And somehow that football team beat San Diego State 29-27.

- And Brandon's new-found FBS team, the Idaho Vandals, had a less than stellar start against the Arizona Wildcats. Okay, that was an understatement -- the Vandals lost 70-0. Wow.

Reasons why you're still single

You wear an Idaho Vandals t-shirt in public.

Seriously.

It's Gametime Baby!

It's finally here! I've been waiting since February for this moment. The day football finally begins again. We have to wait a little longer for the pros to hit the field, but college ball started tonight. And what a way to start!

I have a cousin that goes to the University of South Carolina, and he had been hyping this game between the Gamecocks and North Carolina State. He was pretty excited for the national spotlight for his school. And as the game wore on, he deserved to be. The Gamecocks won handily at 34-0.

Another big opening day match up came within the PAC-10. Oregon State (not wearing their sport bra uniforms much to Brandon's disappointment) got started on wrong foot. Loosing to...wait for it...wait for it...yes, the Beavers dropped this game to Stanford 36-28. Stanford of all schools! They're supposed to be the team PAC-10 teams get excited to play, cause they know it will be a win. Wait, that's now Washington State or Washington. Sad day.

The University of Miami won. But nobody cares.

Number 23 Wake Forest lived up to the hype that's been building around the Demon Deacons with a 41-13 crushing of Baylor. The team looked very good, but don't get too excited. Cause it was the Bears of Baylor and Baylor never wins. The only football team worse than them could be Duke. And Duke doesn't even know where the endzone is.

Georgia Tech beat Jacksonville State (which is lead by quarterback Ryan Perrilloux) HAHAHA. Sorry. Anyway, Tech won 41-14.

UConn beat Hofstra. Who the heck is Hofstra? Is this a made up place? Kinda like Oz? Allow me to visit the most trusted Wikipedia.

Hofstra University is a private, nonsectarian, coeducational institution of higher learning located in Hempstead, Long Island, New York (USA) founded in 1935 on the basis of the estate of wealthy lumber magnate William S. Hofstra (1861-1932) and his (second) wife Kate Mason (1854-1933). The school began as a college of New York University and in 1937 became an independent school called Hofstra College,^[1] later changing its name to Hofstra University in 1963.

In other words, a bunch of rich, preppy kids. Way to go UConn. Really soak this one in.

And lastly, Vanderbilt beat the other Miami (the one in Ohio with out all the bikini clad women) 34-13. But their quarterback Chris Nickson looked great doing it. On the way to the win he rushed for 166 yards, two touchdowns and threw in another one. Not a bad first day.

Man I'm glad it's fall.

Alright, I'm off to join Shaggy and Scooby for another zaney adventure in the Mystery Machine. No seriously though. I'm off on an adventure. I'll keep you posted.

Where the heck have we been?

If you're wondering what the heck Casey and I have been doing for the past week, I'll give you a few options and please feel free to add any more excuses for our blogging laziness.

1. Brandon decided to start an angry girl rock band "The Mad Gingers."

2. Casey has been answering media calls for the Seattle Mariners, which has actually been just one voicemail by an overweight and balding season ticketholder complaining about the rain.

3. Brandon has been in Beijing competing in the trampoline jumping event. He got last place when he landed on his head and shouted out a bunch of curse words that frightened the underaged Chinese gymnastics team.

4. Casey had a case of the munchies, and ended up in the hospital after a bad batch of Sour Patch Kids.

5. Casey was busy filming his cameo in "DareDevil 2" ... he played Ben Afleck's acting ability.

6. Brandon was trying to brush up on his Shakespeare skills and ended up instead watching "Ten Things I Hate About You."

7. Brandon and Casey uncovered a undead mummy who threatened to take over the world. Then they realized it was actually Brendan Fraiser's acting career.

8. Madden '09 came out, nuff said.

9. Brandon realized he was actually a smurf.

10. Casey had gas.

Tall men more fun than a subway full of monkeys

China has the Olympics, now they again have the tallest man in the world.

China's Bao Xishun reclaimed the title of "Tallest man in the World" when Ukrainian Leonid Stadnyk refused to be measured under new guidelines.

The new rules state that the man needs to measured six times throughout the day. And while Xishun may enjoy the spotlight, Stadnyk did not.

Bao, who stands at 7 feet, 8.95 inches, held the title for a year before losing it in 2006 to Stadnyk, who is 8 feet 5.5 inches tall.

And who says the Chinese are short?!? I can't even imagine being that tall.

"From up here, everybody look like ants!"


In other news, Brett Favre is now a New York Jet. Wait, you already knew that? Oh, right. Then why in the world is everybody still fascinated with him!?!?!?! Enough already.


In other news that nobody cares about, the Mayor of Mount Isa, Australia angered many local women when he invited "beauty-disadvantaged women" to move to the mining town.

The mayor said he was "telling it like it is" in a testosterone-laden town more famous for cowboys and mining lead, silver, copper and zinc than for match-making."

Cut the guy some slack people. He was just trying to get a date for New Year's this year. And not Bubba this time.


And lastly, a Tokyo monkey avoided a dozen police at a subway station for two hours before escaping in a crowd of excited children.

"It's a monkey - it's not like it did anything bad," a police spokesman said, adding that the animal was still on the loose.

Good call police spokesman. It is a monkey. And yes, it flings poo. Glad to see that Tokyo's cops are really cracking down on that monkey crime spree.

"Hey, shouldn't we be stopping that guy who is robbing that lady"
"No way man. We have to stop that monkey from being a monkey."

Epic Photo: Hail to the Chief

We've got some serious issues here in America with our economy, there's a war raging in Iraq and Afghanistan and Russia just invaded another country.

And George W. Bush just keeps on chugging. Git-R-Done.

Now if they could only get Vin Baker

Shawn Kemp is headed to Europe. Which means they should soon have a population explosion, thanks to the former SuperSonics legendary fertility.

The Italian team Premiata Montegranaro announced on Sunday that 38-year-old Shawn Kemp has agreed to play for the team starting in November.

"I am happy that a player that has made basketball history would come to Montegranaro," coach Alessandro Finelli said.

Finelli believed that the six-time NBA All-Star, who last played in the NBA in 2002-03, could still contribute.

"He is very motivated," Finelli said. "And he has been staying in shape to show up at our camp in good shape."

Which basically means he's able to fit in the doorway. For the full story on Kemp, check it out here.

Man, sucks to be you

Say what you will about Michael Phelps, and James from Collegiate Handyman has plenty to say:

"All the American Announcers want to jump his bone, they don't even talk about the rest of the swimmers. I'd rather just watch the Canadian broadcasts."

Well said, I'll try to talk a bout another swimmer ... Serbia's Milorad Cavic, who was leading Phelps in the 100m butterfly but instead of taking one last stroke, he coasted and tried to stretch out for the victory, which allowed the American swimmer to do one last stroke and push ahead quickly for a .01 margin of victory.

Thank goodness for touchpad sensors.

It's really go to suck to be Cavic right now. He had the race, but a half-second action cost him a gold medal. But really... don't coast to victory, you still had enough room to do a final stroke.

Okay, I have no idea why I'm calling people out on swimming when I couldn't make it across a pool at the local Holiday Inn.

Hey, does anyone know if the Davenport Hotel has a pool?

GO VANDALS!

Since my alma mater, Eastern Washington University, plays in the highest level of collegiate football with a playoff system, the Football Championship Subdivision, I have found myself with an open slot for a Football Bowl Subdivision team to root for.

I figured I would also enjoy rooting for a big program to win six games and make it to the Chicken of the Sea Bowl, or perhaps win 10 games and get shut out of the national championship game in order to make room for Ohio State to choke again.

However, I can’t run my allegiance with Washington State since everyone is a Cougar fan around these parts. Rooting for the Washington Huskies is a fate worse than death. Oregon State has sports bra uniforms and are therefore automatically taken off the list, and I can’t root for the Oregon Ducks because their uniforms remind me of the movie Tron.

Which leaves Idaho.

It makes perfect sense for me to root for the Vandals since (a) the first college football game I ever watched was at the Kibbie Dome, a barn-burner against EWU (The Eagles won 8-5), and (b) Idaho fans could probably use a few more bodies to bolster their ranks at this juncture in time.

So I’ll be loading up Idaho as my favorite team on NCAA Football ‘09, writing long forum posts about how much Boise State is the spawn of Satan and probably invest in a couple Vandals polos and twill baseball caps.

And I’ll also be writing about my experiences as a new Vandal fan, so stay tuned as Idaho runs through their 2008 football schedule.

Total OUCH!

Here's a link to a video about the weightlifter who dislocated his elbow while lifting. It is disturbing and looks extremely painful.

Janos Baranyai is a Hungarian weightlifter. This happened Wednesday at the Beijing Olympics.

VIEW IT HERE

Yeah, not fun.

Epic Video: Facebook

God attends Chico State. I am so transferring. Here's those crazy guys over at Barats and Bereta.

How to make the Olympics more interesting

The Olympics are lame. Admit it. It's a bunch of sports that are pretty much unwatchable, and to add insult to injury, everything is tape-delayed. It used to be the perfect stage for capitalism vs. communism, good vs. evil and now it's more drugged up than somebody that got their wisdom teeth taken out.

Fear not though, it's possible once again to have an interesting Olympics. They just need to put these events in...

Beer Pong
It would be a dead heat between the Americans and Germans. Light beer would be regulation, causing all Olympic teams to train with Guinness and Mickey's. With this event, how many more college students with drinking problems would then be considered to be "chasing the dream."

Thunderdome
Two men enter, one man leaves.

Hotdog eating contest
Can you imagine the NBC broadcast graphics that would track the puking?

"It looks like Jerry Hanson from Canada has upchucked a record twenty times during these Olympics. No way that was the kind of performance he wanted to put in this year."

Mascot races
Get all the world's best sports mascots and make them run over a moat full of alligators. They actually do this in Iran, so why not make this an actual sport.

Beat the crap out of Richard Simmons
Style points for doing it in a glittery one-piece.

Any other suggestions?

Epic Video: Olympic rap

Tacoma resident, Paul Brogan is at it again.



Here's his MySpace with more raps.

Epic Photo: At least he isn't wearing a fur coat

God, this is weird.

Brett Favre on the New York Jets? This is like when you go back to your hometown and they've torn down a familiar building and put up a Starbucks.

I don't know if there's anyone I can be mad at in this situation. Brett Favre retired and then decided he wanted to come back and play (hey, Michael Jordan did it twice). The Green Bay Packers had to rebuild for the future sometime and we're probably tired of getting jerked around each season with retirement talk from Favre and then having him come back. They drafted Aaron Rogers for a reason and need to get the ball moving on that era.

You coach, run and draft for your team with a plan in mind and the Packers have been in limbo for a couple of years. So even if you're a Favre fan you've got to understand where they're coming from.

However, could they have handled it differently? Sure. So could Favre.

But they both stared each other in the eye until somebody finally blinked. Who blinked is still up to interpretation, though.

You've got to love that Favre still wants to play, although if any other player pulled this, he'd probably get torn apart by the media. I just hope this doesn't become...

Johnny Unitas to the San Diego Chargers
Jerry Rice to the Seattle Seahawks
Emmit Smith in Arizona
Michael Jordan in Washington (oh yeah, I went there)

This may end up being like Joe Montana in Kansas City, which wasn't a complete bust and does nothing to tarnish his legacy.

However with the Packer gold gone from Favre's jersey, I would dare say that has already happen to some extent.

Mario's girlfriend nightmare

After just playing the latest digital rendition in plumber butt-kicking goodness "Mario Galaxy," it got me thinking about how many Mario games I've played where the princess is in trouble. With the exception of Super Mario 2 which isn't a real Mario game and should be renamed "Super Turnip Throwing," he's always trying to get this girl out of one situation or another.

It would suck to be Princess Peach's boyfriend for the following reasons.

1. She's high maintenance
"Sorry, but the princess is in another castle." Are you serious? I just jumped over steaming hot pits of Lava, fought a freakin' dinosaur and you're telling me she's not even in the castle?

2. Her friends are lame
They're short, annoying and wear funny hats.

3. She hangs out with shady characters
Bowser has captured her again? How many stinkin' times will she run into green, scaled, infinitely evil beings at the bar? Doesn't she have some sort of protection or cock block (read: fat friend)?

4. She wears the same thing every day
Pink dresses are soooo 1987.

5. She's a bad driver
Think about it, how many people do you know play Peach during a game of Mario Kart? More people go for Koopa Troopa and that guy doesn't even have opposeable thumbs.

6. She's crazy
She's lost a grasp of reality after hanging around the "Mushroom Kingdom" for so long. After all, shrooms are a gateway drug.

Epic Photo: The REAL Batman

Yeah. Just look.

Bob Dullam has built a real tumbler. Yeah. Pretty sweet.

Read more about it here.

Now that would make for a pretty sweet Halloween costume. He drives in (through a wall of course) and then beats up a guy dressed like the Joker. Maybe the guy who tried to steal the stuff from a theater on the premier of Dark Knight.

Yeah, totally first place.

Epic Video: Why I hate Jim Rome

This is a classic, I was just thinking about Jim Rome today and figured I'd show this wonderful nugget of joy again. Why did Jim Everett get so mad? Here's the explanation from Wikipedia:

Following the 1989 regular season, Everett was reportedly "shellshocked" from the multiple times he was sacked and hit in the NFC Championship game against the San Francisco 49ers (the 49ers won, 30-3). At one point in the game, Everett was so rattled that he collapsed to the ground in the pocket merely in anticipation of yet another sack, even though the 49ers' defensive players actually had not yet reached him—a play now known as Everett's "phantom sack".[1] From then on he was perceived to shy away from hits, and later acknowledged that his confidence was never fully restored.

Phantom sack? Isn't that how Brett Favre gave Michael Strahan the single-season sack record? Why doesn't anyone call that guy Chris?

Life after college...

Ever wonder why your favorite professional sports player (or in this case, Kyle Orton of the Chicago Bears) goes and does something really dumb at the bar? Because while every year numerous kids graduate from college, they don't actually graduate mentally for college. That transition usually comes after you have kids, marriage, mortgage and a swollen prostate. Hence when professional athletes get drafted, the don't become professional athletes overnight, they're still college kids -- just with a crapload of money.

Hence, Pacman Jones making it rain.

However, some things do change after college, and it's usually this:

1. In the eyes of your parents, you go from becoming a student full of promise working hard for good grades -- to a deadbeat without a job.

2. You suddenly feel old using Facebook.

3. Now instead of your college calling and asking why tuition hasn't been paid yet, it will be calling and asking for a donation as an alumni... every single week.

4. That crappy college car that was acceptable in society is now just a crappy car and any chance you had of getting a girlfriend is rusting away quicker than your front bumper.

5. If you wake up and go out in sweatpants, you're officially a douche.

6. Now when you talk to foreign exchange students you're just a creep.

7. Ultimate Frisbee is no longer cool.

8. However, company softball games are.

9. If you got back to watch one of your college's athletic events, you've got to wear a ridiculous sweaters or outdated hats celebrating it's 1993 bow game.

10. Fart wars kind of lose their luster.

Greatest American Dog

CBS has a new show out for the summer season called Greatest American Dog. Well, a native of the Pacific Northwest is on the show. Oh, and her owner too.

J.D and his dog Galaxy are from Bend, Oregon. And oddly enough I have met him while he and his dogs were performing at the King County Fair in Enumclaw, Washington two years ago. He seemed like a nice guy, and his dogs were amazing.

Here's a link to their official bios on the CBS site.

Galaxy is a 9 year old English Pointer and Border Collie mix.

After watching the show, I would honestly be surprised if they didn't win. Galaxy is very smart, and is very well trained.

Epic Photo: Batman

Here's how the price of gas has been affecting Batman




Oh, and congrats to Brandon for somehow surviving another year. Yeah, we are all pretty amazed at that. Especially with all the threats from Montana fans. Here's to another one!