I believe that school is just South of North

OK. OK. I'll admit it. I've been watching basketball every chance I get. But perhaps the best thing about the tournament has been the radio commercials.

There is one, that makes fun sports fans who jump on a bandwagon and have no idea where there school is located.

Such schools include: Gonzaga, Drake, Marquette, Xavier, American, etc.

I had my own run in with such a bandwagon fan the other day. He was walking around the UNL campus sporting his Gonzaga hat. I asked him why the Gonzaga hat? (Cause in this state if your hat isn't red and doesn't sport a white "N" on it, you are a minority)

He said he was a big Gonzaga fan. So I (being the smartass I am) followed up with, "Do you know where Gonzaga is?"

The kid looked at me as if I had just asked him where his nose was on his face. "It's in Northern California." He snapped back.

"Wrong," I say. "Spokane, Washington."

And to that, he came back with perhaps the most overused comeback of all time, "Yeah, well your mom knows where that is."

Worst. Comeback. EVER.

So before you pick the team you're going to root for during all of March Madness, at least make sure you know where they are located.

On a side note, I did not know that Portland State University is the largest, public university in Oregon until yesterday.

God, I love March Madness

I'm headed to Yakima very soon to go watch the Spokane Shock play an exhibition game against the Tri-City Fever at the SunDome. While I'd love just to sit and watch NCAA games all day, people are buying me wine down in Yakima. I can't turn that down.

However, check out Fish Bear Sports running diary. That Joel Willits is a funny bastard.

And I'll try to drop in on his comment board and insult his mother every I get wireless on my laptop.

Which in Yakima, could be very iffy.

Epic Video of Greatness #15

Normally I avoid Ben Stiller movies like Green Bay Packer fans but this might be a funny ride...



And Robert Downey Jr. is quickly becoming my favorite actor. He was perfectly casted in the upcoming Iron Man movie and will add a different layer that other superhero movies don't have (an interesting main character). His work in Zodiac was hilarious and riveting (it takes a special kind of actor to be able to pretend to do lines of coke and deliver a conversational scene at the same time) and if you want to see Downey Jr.'s best movie (in my opinion), rent Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. It's a riot. And it has Val Kilmer in it.

We've all got AIDS

This comes from College Humor.

My Freshman year I pledged a fraternity with my best friend. One night we got drunk, used this text-to-voice program to call one of the actives that we didn't like, and left the following voicemail:Dear (your name) one or more of your sexual partners has HIV/AIDS. Please call (a number for a health clinic in town) to schedule testing.We figured the guy would realize it was all joke so we didn't bother telling him it was actually us that had called. Yeah, not so much. The guy spent the next 6 months convinced he had AIDS; his girlfriend left him once she found out, his parents were attending AIDS support groups with him, and to make matters worse the girl he had thought he got the virus from had sex with most of our fraternity, so EVERYONE had to get tested.After we were initiated we told the chapter what we had done, he threatened to sue me but nothing ever came of it. Long story short: Best. Phone call. Ever!

T.J., Centenary College of LA

... why am I laughing? I'm going to hell.

George Lucas is Drunk...

How the hell does this guy take our money?

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: You explained a little bit in your ShoWest presentation about why you decided to come back and make this film. Do you feel like there's even more to tell in the Star Wars universe?

GEORGE LUCAS: Yeah, you know, I sat down and said, ''Okay, the Luke Skywalker story'' — or the Anakin Skywalker story, actually — ''is done.'' But whenever you create a universe, there's just vast areas you've never touched, and part of that was this. Which is to say, ''Well, gee, I did the movies about everything but the Clone Wars, so wouldn't it be fun to do a TV series that is nothing but the Clone Wars, and we could just have all the adventures?'' And that, with: ''Gee, it would be fun to go back to animation.'' And: ''Gee, it would be fun to do a sort of 3-D animé film, which people haven't done — it would be an interesting experiment, and we should have a good time.''

Is Star Wars: The Clone Wars going to be shown in 3-D?No, no, it's not 3-D, it's basically CG — I've gotta stop using ''3-D''...

Right, they're not interchangeable.It used to be that 3-D was considered CG, and then 3-D actually came to be, so now we have to change [what we say]. [Laughs]

I'm glad that the most influential movie series of all times came about with George Lucas in the bathroom going "Gee, how cool would it be if I put Jar Jar Binks in my movie, gave him a Jamaican accent and then... whoah... had way too much Taco Bell today."

And all your new movies are made entirely out of CG, how can you mix it up with 3D.

You've talked a lot about 3-D, so why didn't you do this project in 3-D?

Well, you know, it's expensive. And we felt that everybody kind of looks at the downside: It would cost twice as much to do it in 3-D as it did to do the movie in the first place. So you say, ''Well, gosh, do you think we're going to get that much more out of it? And is it going to be worth it? And we can always do it later if we really want to.'' So that was really the logic behind it. You know, [the Clone Wars movie] was almost an afterthought — we were doing the TV series and looked at some of the episodes on the big screen and said, ''This is so beautiful, why don't we just go and use the crew and make a feature?'' So we did.

That's B.S. for 3-D glasses are the stupidest things you can force on people since the Segway.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: How does it dovetail with the live-action TV series that you've announced?

GEORGE LUCAS: I'm just starting to work on the scripts now for the live-action TV series. We finished the first year of Clone Wars, [and] we're in the middle of working on the second year. I'm finishing the scripts for the third year. And now I'm working on the scripts for the first year of the live-action show. [Smiles] So it's a lot of scripts.

Where is the live-action one going to fit into the overall Star Wars narrative?

It's completely separate. This one has all of the characters that everybody knows — everybody from Yoda to Anakin to Mace Windu to Obi-Wan — everybody's there. The live-action has nobody there, because it's after Episode III, so everybody's dead, basically, or hiding somewhere. You hear about the Emperor, just like you do in Episode IV, but it's mostly about a whole different world. I mean, there are a million stories in the big city — you've only seen one of them. [Laughs]

Is anyone getting the "this TV series is going to be really crappy" vibe?

Planet Hoth 90210

Are you going to do another Indiana Jones movie after this one?

That I don't know. We do these one at a time and we do them purely for the fun of it, which means that if we've got too many other things going on — Steve [Spielberg]'s got a couple more movies, he's got Chicago Seven, he's got all this stuff backed up for years — who knows? At least I'm at a point now where I can just enjoy myself and be creative and not have to worry about people getting crazy or trying to make decisions around me or anything. And I'm to a point now where if it isn't successful, it's not the end of the world. It's always a disappointment when it doesn't turn out, but sometimes you know it's not going to turn out. I've [also]] seen other people's movies that I had really high hopes for — I said, ''Oh, this is going to be great'' — and I'd see it and it is great, but it falls flat and nobody goes to see it. You know, I loved Across the Universe, it's a brilliant film. I wish I had made it — I don't think I'm talented enough to do that. But at the same time, it just [motions like it blew away] pffffff. It's too bad. That's the saddest part right there: Something that you think is really good and should work and people should enjoy it, and they don't.

But you're confident that Indiana Jones will work?

Yeah, well, this one, we know that for the fans it won't be the movie that they have been making in their minds for the last 19 years, so they all get bent out of shape. A lot of the critics forget that they didn't like the first three, and so they get off on this one, too — or it's not the Second Coming. And, yeah, we didn't make it bigger and better, we made it exactly the same. So if you loved the other ones, you'll love this one. But if you expect to have F-14s flying under freeways — that isn't there. It's just another period adventure movie with this wacky archaeologist. It's funny. I think it's funnier than the other ones, and it's exciting. So it's got all the stuff that all the other ones have. And Harrison's great in it.

I'm glad they didn't try and reinvent the wheel. I have a feeling that every Indiana Jones Movie ends up like this.

George: Okay, I know how we can end the final Nazi Battle... flying goats. Am I right? Brilliant eh Steve-o?

Steve: God, you're a moron.

George: I need a hug.

Lets just cross our fingers this fourth Indiana Jones movie doesn't try to emulate National Treasure.

Epic Video of Greatness 15

Yes. This will be the greatest Wii game ever. Racing your friends, no matter where you live.

Montana or just Hannah

This past weekend I spent my time in a town called Billings, Montana. No, I wasn't there for fun, I was there for work. Haha. Fun, in Montana? Yeah, you are funny.

Anyway, while traveling for what seemed about 400 hours through the state, I realized there are some things people may not know about the Montana.

10. The state is huge. Much too large to be one state. I am thinking East Montana, and West Montana. Wait, scrap that.

Then there would be two Montanas and that is just too much to deal with.

9. If you ever get the chance to go down highway 212, take it. Endless conversation starters.

8. The roads in Montana aren't covered with gravel when it gets icy. And nope, not salt. In Montana they use small boulders. No joke. It's like driving on a back country road. Only it was I-90.

7. Despite being lame, South Dakota actually makes it look cool. Kinda like the how having a dopey little brother works for your advantage.

6. The Midwest isn't called the "fly over" states for nothing.

5. The movie, "Dances With Wolves" was filmed in South Dakota. I know that has nothing to do with Montana, but I saw it on a billboard while driving.

4. I also saw a duck.

3. Hannah Montana made that state cool. Until then, school children thought it was a providence of Canada.

2. We should sell it to Canada. Oh, and South Dakota too. Throw in Wyoming and make it a buy 2 get 1 free sale.

1. There is a reason Lewis and Clark kept going. And didn't just call it a trip in Montana.

Unfortunate athletic events in the life of Brandon Hansen

I've had a terrible life as a human being. Along with the lists of most worthless people, I have a spot carved out for me between Mike Brown of FEMA and NBA player Brian Scalabrini.

If one were to write a book about athletic failures of the fullest degree, it would actually just be a chronicle of my life. Lets go down the list...

Seven years old -- Manage to give up the only home run ever hit in T-ball history when manning the mound for the Hansen Logging mites.

Get a custom-made Chicago Cubs hat with my name on the side. For the next 16 years I never get the thing dirty.

Eight years old -- Move to coach-pitch little league, my batting average immediately plummets below the winning percentage of the Washington Generals.

I quickly become a San Francisco Giants fans because they employ strangely skinny guys with funny moustaches, a physique I hope to someday repeat. However once I reach manhood I realize that those skinny guys with funny moustaches have grown their head to the size of rhino and they shaved the facial hair.

10 years old -- Pitching machine league. Guess who mans the pitching machine?

12 years old -- Player pitch. Guess who moves from the mound to the outfield?

(7th Grade Football) Coach doesn't give me shoulder pads, says that I wont "need them."
He does however, give me a plastic tub of Gatorade and tells me to haul it to the team bus.

7th Grade Football Stats -- one fumble recovery, during the all important "fifth quarter" of the game.

14 years old -- Get paired with the kid that catches a baseball with his chest (and cant afford a glove) during high school baseball tryouts. Needless to say, I wasn't on the squad.

Funny thing, during the tryouts they never let me bat.

15 years old -- Finish my year on JV football with this stateline --140 pounds of weight, 8 games, 1 sack and one four-minute celebration.

(Two encroachment penalties as well)

15 years old (B) -- Max out on my possible bench press amount: part of the set for a high school play that I was doing.

Play stats -- Lenny from Of Mice and Men, some dude in Godspell and numerous one-act plays.

17 years old -- Win my only race in track and field ever. Then I realize my coach signed me up for the Special Olympics.

18 years old -- My snowboarding experience scares small children as they see a large snow ball roll by on the slopes.

20 years old -- A brief stint in college basketball intramurals leads to me earning a reputation of a "hard fouler of girls" among the upper divisions of competition.

22 years old -- I now get winded walking up a small hill with slight grade.

... and I think I just had a small heart attack writing this blog.

Epic Video of Greatness #14

I had come to accept that the Seattle SuperSonics were moving to Oklahoma City and have grown emotionally numb to it. Then I watched this video and my hate towards their new ownership has been completely reborn.

The San Francisco Treat

Founded in 1776 by the Spanish, San Francisco got the second biggest shock in it's history when I came to town last weekend. It's first "big shock" came when I visited the town two years ago. While a talented writer would come up with some clever blog about how great the place is, all I can really do is show you my pictures from the trip.

So this first photo wasn't taken in San Fran, but I wanted to show you all what it's like to fly in Washington State. You fly by mountains. Big ones. Have you ever heard of planes flying into mountains.

That is why I'm terrified of flying.

He's posing for the camera.

This was my breakfast one morning while on the trip. Still wondering why I have health problems at age 22, am chubbier than Matthew Perry in the late 90s, and have back fat?

Yep didn't think so.

I can't tell you how many times I made a "The Rock" quote while taking photos of the Alcatraz. Somebody said I sounded like Darth Vader, which really wasn't the effect I was going for.

Also if you're with three other girls, don't drop the "Losers always whine about their best, Winners go home and f*** the prom queen"

It probably won't go over so well.

Here's the view from the floor in my hotel. A pretty fantastic view if you ask me, and well above street level where the pan handler's brigade was waiting with arms wide open.

At least it wasn't the Travelocity Gnome...

Here are some scenic shots of the city.

What's a San Fran photo essay without a street car?

My friends are hippies.

A follow-up to Casey's Josh Brown post

I hate Josh Brown.

Bye Bye Brown

Josh Brown, perhaps one of the best kickers the Seattle Seahawks have had, has signed with the St. Louis Rams. Yeah, he left the team that made him who he was for another team. A team that is horrible. I hope, as a broadcaster, that Brown does good. But as a Seahawks fan, I hope that he breaks his leg. Oops, did I say that? Well, lets just look at the facts.

Brown made more than his share of tackles during this season. And the Hawks special teams was WAY better than the Rams. Brown doesn't remember when the Seahawks lived in the cellar. Now, with the Rams, he will be able to see how that feels. Hope it's cold down there Joshy. Real cold.

As cold as the shoulders of the Hawks fans when the Rams come to the Northwest. Yeah, thanks for the memories Josh. Now I hope your memories are of looking up at the Hawks, Cardinals, and yes, even the 49ers. Welcome to St. Louis. Welcome to the cellar.

Heading to San Fran

Washington just couldn't contain my ginger-ness. I'm headed to San Francisco the next couple of days for a journalism conference and will update you all on my adventures.

And trust me, there will be adventures.

Hopefully I don't run into this guy.

Spring means snow in Nebraska

It's that time of year again. Yes, time for the bats to come out from the garage. Time to clean up your diamonds. Time for baseball.

Ok, hold it right there. What? How can it be baseball time. It is still February. What?

Yeah, baseball is here. At least in Nebraska. The Cornhusker baseball team kicked off the 2008 season last week at Stanford. Now Stanford, I can see them playing baseball right now. California, it's always nice.

Nebraska, not so much.

Yesterday it snowed. Today the high was around 20. Yeah, that doesn't sound like baseball weather to me.

Or maybe, in the Midwest, that IS baseball weather.

Don't forget, Omaha is home of the College World Series. That means it will be in the 100's with at least 95% humidity.

Can't wait.

When I grow up, I want to throw stuff

Mullets are great. A classic hair cut that really says you have guts. Not just any guy can pull off the mullet look. So when a world record holder in the javelin breaks the world record for the mullet throw, my interest was perked. I pictured a dude throwing his mullet around. Little did I know that a mullet, is also a fish.

Every year there is a mullet throwing competition. Here's the official description:

"A Mullet Toss consists of individuals on the beach throwing a mullet, from a 10-foot circle in Alabama across the state line into Florida."

Well, Roald Bradstock of Britain did it. He broke the world record in his age group (he's 45) for throwing a mullet. He hurled a wet, dead mullet 169 feet and 9 inches.

And if that wasn't an accomplishment in itself, he later set the world record for throwing an ipod. He chucked his 154 yards. Yeah, crazy.

But if iTunes keeps acting up, I my be attempting to beat his record with a toss of my own.

Back to the mullet toss though. My question is, why do the people in Alabama throw the fish into Florida? Do they know that their state is really lame? Maybe the Alabamans are just jealous that Florida is a huge vacation hotspot. Or that Florida has Disney World. Yeah, that must be it.

We here at Just South of North are very interested in participating in a mullet toss. Here's the flyer if you would like to go. But sadly, we haven't been training. Maybe next year.

Matt Damon, you suck

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why Jimmy Kimmel is a badass.



Remember when "Good Will Hunting" came out and Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were given genius status in Hollywood. Now they're a long-running YouTube joke. Wow guys, way to use that potential.

Cyber adventures with Wii Golf

Since there’s still roughly a foot of snow outdoors and every time I try to go down to the gas station I get passed by a Sherpa scaling the large mountains in Cheney, I decided to remember the better times of summer by playing Wii Golf (on the Wii Sports package).

Problem is, I suck at Wii Golf, I suck large, steaming, smelly donkey crap at Wii Golf. My best score on that game is +8, and keep in mind that you’re playing a nine-hole course. That’s god-awful, somewhere John Daly is laughing, chugging a fifth of whiskey and passing out in some woman’s lap. But that’s what he does, because he’s John Daly.

Now me on the other hand, am not as cool as John Daly, that’s probably why I’m playing Wii Golf by myself in my room on a Sunday night. That’s okay though, I have anti-depressants on the way via UPS.

Oh and thanks to my bootlegged mult-player program I loaded up on the Wii, Casey also got to be in the game of Wii Golf. Problem is, he really wasn’t concerned about my quest to improve my golf score, as you will see throughout this post.

I started off my nine-hole game on a very negative note, overshooting the green on my second shot, however I was able to save face by chipping close to the hole for an easy par putt-in.

Casey, on the other hand, didn’t even play the first hole, he was too busy using the “Mii Parade” feature on the Wii. “Hey check this out, somebody made a Mii of Matt Damon!”

Screw Matt Damon. Just like Sarah Silverman did.

On the second hole, I promptly put my ball in the sand. And nothing bugs me more than sandy balls.

I chip it on the green but two-putt the damn thing. I wrap my putter around a tree via a special and widely unknown button-combination code. Casey, on the other hand, it making sand castles in the bunker.

I did manage to have one good hole in the game, smashing through the trees twice on the third hole but making a nice putt for birdie. That put me back at even.

Then came my worst enemy, the 4th hole in Wii golf. The Island hole. This hole gives me nightmares. Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat after imagining that I overshot the island for the umpteenth time. It’s about as frustrating as one of those claw machines at the Supermarket. You know what I mean? The claw machines where you try and pick up some sort of prize out behind class but the damn thing always seems to loose its grip at the last moment? That’s what it’s like playing on the Island hole.

And I bogeyed it. Way to go, Brandon. Maybe this is why your relatives don’t talk to you anymore.

Casey was strangely playing Waverunner 64 around the island during this hole.

On the fifth hole, I hit one tree, and then another, and then I bogey the hole to go up +2. I’ve struck more wood in this game that a teenager looking at the latest swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated.

Casey points and laughs, but a virtual bird flying above drops a little present on his Mii’s head, who strangely looks like Matt Damon.

“Did you load up the Matt Damon Mii? Why?”

“I like Matt Damon.”

“….. get away from me”

I got a par on the 6th hole, but really screwed things up on the seventh, by three-putting for the double bogey and going up to +4 in the game.

However, hope was in sight, with only two holes left, I could get another high score on the game, as long as I didn’t screw things up.

I set myself up with a par on the eighth, while Casey flew a kite with his Matt Damon Mii. I had a four-shot cushion on my best score.

And then… the ninth hole. I was on stroke seven and I haden’t even gotten past the driving tees because of the water hazards and when I finally made it to the green, it was a lost cause.

I got a +5 on the hole. They don’t even have a cool bird nickname for that.

As I left the game in disgust, I noticed Casey and his Matt Damon Mii skipping off into the sunset.

It was then I realized that I hate golf, and Matt Damon.

Epic Video of Greatness #13

Only in Spokane, Washington.

How to tell if you wasted your day

What did you accomplish today? Anything of importance? What if you can't tell? Well, here is the easy and useful guide to see if you got anything done today. If you answer yes to any of these, congratulations, you have wasted your day. But don't worry, we at Just South of North have the solution to your problem.

1. You spent the whole day waiting for the NASCAR race to begin: the race was rain delayed. Supposed to start at 2:30 CST. At 8:40 CST FOX gave up and just started playing The Simpsons. Solution: The Simpsons RULE!

2. You worked on homework all day: College seems to always have more homework to do. No matter how hard you work, you can never get it all done. Solution: Drop out and move to California to sell mangos on the beach.

3. You spent all day downloading music to your new Ipod from CDs and the Internet: yeah, that is a very time consuming event. Solution: Sell your Ipod and buy a Walkman. Remember Walkmans? Those were so amazing.

4. You spent all day cleaning house: first of all, who does that? Second of all, why do that? Solution: Shove the mess to the sides of the room so you have a path around the house.

5. You layed on the floor, avoiding the light: maybe you live in your parents basement, maybe you have a hangover, maybe you are a vampire. Either way, lame. Solution: Video games. They solve everything.

6. You wasted all day trying to come up with a blog idea, and this is all you have: yeah, maybe the next one will be better. Solution: Read Just South of North everyday.

Oh, and tomorrow is Monday. Sure to be worse than no matter what you did today.

Thank you, Carl Winslow

The man has handled German terrorist Hans Gruber and Steve Urkel. In a world where we're looking for heroes, look no further than Carl Winslow.

His journey of greatness started as a police officer on Christmas Eve, responding to a seemingly harmless call to the Nakatomi Plaza but little did he know that terrorists had taken it over.

He helped equally awesome super badass John McClane stop a plot to steal more than $640 million dollars.

You'd think that after such a heroic act that Winslow would recieve some nice desk job and retire. Instead he moved to Chicago with his family and had to take on the forces of Steve Urkel.

And don't forget this matchup against Carlsbad.

It's hard to find another person that has fought through so much adversity, but Winslow has done it. The world is a better place because of him. With that, I'd just like to thank him.

And show this awesome Die Hard movie video.



Anyone going to Die Hard?

An shout-out to Pita Pit

Pita Pit really never gets the attention it deserves. The staple in every college student's diet is pitas. They're delicious, and they're somewhat more healthy than whatever the local cafeteria is serving.

"Fried Chicken Nuggets dipped in a vat of butter, oh goodie!"

Pita Pit is a good friend of mine, it's always bailed me out when I've been stumbling around at three in the morning with a severe case of the drunk munchies.

And go figure... it's a pretty good business too.

"Pita Pit Inc. has moved up on Entrepreneur Magazine's 2008 ranking of the top franchises in the United States, jumping from No. 212 to No. 195 on the prestigious list. After analyzing franchises that range from food service and retail companies to hotels and specialty supply stores, Entrepreneur annually names the top 500 U.S. franchises based on factors such as growth, stability, quality, and presence across the country."

And like most good things, Pita Pit started in Canada, but the USA branch is actually headquartered in Coeur d'Alene.

Which means, I'm about to make a drunken trek there just so I can rub elbows with executive Pita Makers. I wonder if they work while they're high too.

Epic Video of Greatness #12

You want to impress people? Learn how to do this.

Welcome to college

It's been an interesting past couple of days at the Harvard of the West Plains, Eastern Washington University. First, we had this huge budget crisis with the students which resulted in me going into uber-collegiate journalist mode.

Which basically means I put a dress shirt on for the first time in a year.

And then throw on classes, tests, papers and the normal hoops and firepits and I think I've had exactly three wonderful hours of sleep in the last 48 hours.

But, like, isn't this the normal college thing to do? I think that colleges get it all wrong when they market their school. Brochures usually have happy professors, lush green campuses (which by the way, is under snow during five months out of the year in Washington) and smiling students in co-ed dorm rooms.

Come on, that's fine if you're trying to sell a retirement community room to someone. Here's what schools should really being using to market themselves.

What would a school do with a legendary rock band? Have them be your spokesmen. Who else would be better suited to talk about partying everynight, getting sleep deprived, probably doing some sort of nasty drug and then live to tell about it?

That's right. Rock Stars.

So Universities, before you spend millions of dollars on a marketing campaign that's about as interesting as Carson Daly's late night show, you might want to look into marketing the fact that most college students develop all their health problems and addictions while in school.

I mean who wouldn't want to go to your institution then?

Epic Video of Greatness #11

There are two videos today. The new K.I.T.T. and off course, the original.

Knight Rider 2.0

The made for television Knight Rider movie just finished here, and all I have say is, amazing.

Knight Industries Three Thousand, or K.I.T.T, is amazing.

Instead of the 1982 Pontiac Trans Am, (which was Knight Industries Two Thousand), the new KITT takes the shape of a 2007 Shelby GT 500 KR.

Yeah, the car is amazing. It can change colors, add ground effects, has 550 horses, plus about a billion other features.

As for the actual show, it was great. And definately looks like it should be on the NBC lineup in the fall.

And if the movie wasn't already cool. David Hasselhoff shows up in it. Yeah, don't hassel the Hoff.

Epic Video of Greatness #10

One of the best commercials of all time.

"I'm so pretty."

Somewhere the Pats went 19-0

The poor kids will never know that the New England Patriots lost the Super Bowl. Nor do I think they really care.

The NFL donated all of the 19-0 gear to Nicaragua. This was 290 hats and shirts. At least these kids are getting use out of the gear.

It appears that each of the loosing team hats and shirts are donated to countries each season. That means that somewhere children are dancing. Somewhere children are playing. Somewhere children are laughing.

And somewhere every loser of the Super Bowl won.

Epic Video of Greatness #9

If you don't like this music video, than you're un-American.

What to do in case of an Alien Invasion

Let's face it, we're the party pad of the universe.

Where else are you going to see someone finish off a keg and then shave their armpit hair for good measure? And don't say WAZZU, because despite the best wishes of Husky fans and the entire Pac-10, the Palouse is actually part of the Planet Earth and not the moon.

However, someone is bound to crash the party. That's right, Alien invasion.
There are way too many lame humanoids out there that don't know how to have a good time, I mean how many times have you seen a good bar on Neptune? It's a large ball of gas, the only thing that would survive on that planet is Rosanne Barr.

So if you want to avoid being vaporized or having a creature burst from your chest, here's a couple things you can do to survive an alien invasion:

1. If there's a wise-cracking, former rapper with a cigar walking around, we suggest you follow him.

2. If you're in the military, try to stay out of the first wave of soldiers in the counter-attack. As Hollywood has shown us, counter-attacks to alien invasions usually lead to a complete butt-whopping of the U.S. military and there's usually something terrible that happens to them (They all get their brains sucked out or are forced to watch the TV series "Joey").

However, if there is a "last chance to save the world" opportunity that is risky, unorthodox and involves an IBM programmer, we suggest you participate in it because it's probably going to work.

3. If it looks cute, its probably going to eat your flesh.

4. The aliens will have shields, they always have shields.

5. Your relatives or friends will somehow survive the initial attack, and despite the city their in being completely wiped out, they'll be fine. You'll need to save them in some sort of heroic fashion though, but they won’t be tough to spot since their the only four people alive in a 500 mile radius.

6. Always sneak in the alien ship and fly it away. Despite the technology being from a different planet, the controls will still resemble that of a Playstation 3.

7. The mothership is the size of Texas but blowing it up in orbit will not cause any debris falling from space, because the explosion was just so cool.

8. Listen to the dorky scientist aid that slept with the president's aid, he knows more that 3,000 scientists working for NASA, the NSA and the FBI.

9. The Aliens are filled with goo, but its great tasting.

10. Everytime you kill an alien you have to make some reference to an Elton John song.

Epic Video of Greatness #8

A true classic.

Oh, and just for your information, the passenger (actor Antwon Tanner) went on to play the character "Skills" on the CW show One Tree Hill.

Do the right thing on Valentines Day...

Really guys, don't screw this one up, because girls always remember Valentines Day. They have a memory like the Rain man when it comes to this sort of thing. Remember that time you got her that DVD copy of "Angels in the Outfield" and it didn't exactly spark her interest.

Yeah don't let that happen again.

Here's a couple of other things that you shouldn't do...

1. Spend the evening watching the latest episode of Smash Lab on the Discovery Channel with her.

2. Chuck-E-Cheeses. While this was a wonderful haven of magical animatronic creatures and plastic ball pits that inspired dreams of wonderment when you were eight. However, it's not going to get you laid when your 22.

3. Dressing up like a Superhero and running around the house trying to save your girl. Don't dress your pet dog as a superhero ever.

4. Ask to skip all the Valentines' Day foreplay and getting down to business.

5. Videotape it.

6. Go to dinner with your parents.

7. Go around telling people that its alright to be single on Valentines day. Not like that one hasn't been done before. You're basically Dick Cheney saying global warming isn't happening.

Epic Video of Greatness #7

Cheap Seats was one of the best shows ever on TV. Here is a salute to the 1997 Spelling Bee.

"Worst Word Ever."

Some are cheap, some are not

The New England Patriots have raised their ticket prices. My guess that is too help buy Bill Belichick a hoodie that he didn't steal from the homeless man in the parking lot.

Well, with the ticket increase, where does this put the Patriots in the standings for most expensive tickets in the NFL? Congrats, you may have lost the Super Bowl, but you win this!

Here's the Top 5:

1. New England- Well, they do win games. And Boston does love their sports. I bet they could charge a $1,000 bucks a game and still sell out every game.

2. Washington- One of the NFL's most storied franchises. Also, one of the most expensive tickets each season. Now we'll have to see if Zorn can get them past the Wild Card round.

3. Chicago- I would expect that these prices take a bit of a hit after the lackluster year the Bears had this season. Da Bears!

4. Tampa Bay- Are they still trying to pay off that stadium? Yeah, the one with the HUGE pirate ship in it. Amazing.

5. Philadelphia- These people love their sports teams. The Eagles, the Phillies. Too bad both are a disappointment each year.

And now the bottom 5:

28. Jacksonville- After the 2007 season, and the future this team has, these tickets will become a hot commodity in Florida. Almost hotter than the babes on Daytona Beach. Almost.

29. New Orleans- Well, they had one good year. But then again, the fans that could make it to a game couldn't exactly empty their wallets for a game. Now they stink again. But there is hope, they play in the NFC South, which has a new Champion each season.

30. Cleveland- This one is surprising. Browns fans go to every game, and are always supportive. I bet these tickets could be one of the more expensive in the league and still sell out.

31. San Francisco- The fans in the Bay haven't had to worry about ticket prices since the Young/Rice tandum left. And that was many many moons ago.

32. Buffalo- 2000: 8-8, 2001: 3-13, 2002: 8-8, 2003: 6-10, 2004: 9-7, 2005: 5-11, 2006: 7-9, 2007: 7-9.....in other words, they haven't been good for a really long time.

Epic Video of Greatness #6

Chris Berman is at it again...

Paradise just LOST

The Miami Dolphins have started clearing house already. Releasing nine players today, including quarterback Trent Green. Green had spent the 2007 season on IR after suffering his second serious concussion.

But now the Dolphins, who are a franchise that is barely floating, need to acquire a quarterback. And fast. Because like the ABC show, they are just LOST right now.

Now this team, which has lacked a leader at coach all year, is now without a leader on the field. This is worse than when Kerry Collins just gave up on the Panthers.

Most draft boards have the Dolphins picking a defensive lineman in the draft with the number one pick. But the truth is, the Fins have an aging defensive and a non existent offense. But a rookie quarterback is not the answer for this team. They need a veteran leader who can take charge on the field, and in the locker room.

Plus, the quarterback class this year is less than stellar. Yes, I said stellar. Here's my suggestion to Bill Parcells.

Trade the number one pick for a quarterback and a later pick in the draft. There are a ton of defensive lineman this year.

So Mr. Parcells, here are the teams I believe you should be courting:

1. Arizona Cardinals- Kurt Warner

Who better to help jump kick this rebuilding than a two time NFL MVP and a Super Bowl winner? Warner didn't have a horrible year. Heck, he did better than Eli Manning did during the regular season. Plus, with Matt Leinart in Arizona, Warner won't start. Leinart is the QB of that franchise.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers- Charlie Batch

Batch is one of those quarterbacks that hardly ever gets a chance to play, but when he does he shines. You have to forget about his time in Detroit. Time spent there doesn't really count (unless you are Barry Sanders). Batch would be a great addition to the Dolphins, he's kinda the Trent Dilfer style quarterback. He doesn't make mistakes, but he doesn't really make plays either. He just doesn't mess up.

3. Dallas Cowboys- Brad Johnson

Johnson isn't a long term fix. He would just be a bandaid for the short term. Someone to help groom a younger quarterback, rather than toss them straight into the fire of a Patriots defense. Plus, somehow Johnson knows how to win games. Look at what he did last year in Minnesota.

Well, no matter what the Dolphins do, it will be a long time before they are back into the play-offs. They still have to play the New England Patriots twice, but at least they have Buffalo.

Epic Video of Greatness #5

I really can't make fun of this women because she does a better job than me.

The Pro Bowl is a system, Neo...

Matt Hasselbeck: Man, how am I going to stand up to the likes of Peyton Manning and Tom Brady in the Pro Bowl against a Pro Bowl defense. This sounds like way too much for me, I'm used to taking on NFC West defensives, which couldn't make it in the WAC.

Morpheus: The Pro Bowl isn't real, Neo.

Matt Hasselbeck: Wait, who are you? You realize it's 90 degrees out here, why are you wearing a leather trench coat.

Morpheus: I'm Morpheus, you've been looking for me a long time, Neo.

Matt Hasselbeck: Morpheus.. oh, oh, no no, I just got drunk last night looking up porn and instead of typing in more... okay I'm not going to explain myself any further. Why are you calling me Neo.

Morpheus: Isn't that your StumbleUpon login name?

Matt Hasselbeck: Oh yeah, it's the bald head. All my teammates call me Neo. They say it's short for something. But, hey I got to practice, this is a big game.

Morpheus: You've got to make a choice, Neo, between the Red jersey and the Blue jersey. If you take one it will be for the wrong conference but no one will really care because it's the pro bowl.

Matt Hasselbeck: What? The Pro Bowl isn't a big deal.

Morpheus: Let me show you something Neo, here look at this computer laptop screen.

Matt Hasselbeck: Okay, hmmm, this is an NFL Forum, why have 180,000 people responded to the thread entitled "Why wont anyone come to my Pro Bowl Party"?

Morpheus: Because the Pro Bowl isn't a real game Neo, it's a fake. The NFL has enslaved your mind into thinking it's an actual athletic competition, but it's not Neo. You must free your mind and join the real world.

Matt Hasselbeck: But Brett Favre is standing right there! I know that's Brett Favre, I used to back him up in Green Bay.

Morpheus: While that's Brett Favre's body, his mind is somewhere else, Neo. He's probably had 15 margaritas before getting here. What the NFL is doing is using your body as a source of revenue.

Matt Hasselbeck: What?

Morpheus: That's right Neo, nobody is taking this game seriously. That's not a Pro Bowl defense over there, that's a bunch of guys that just came from Hawaiian strip mall to get souvenirs for their family members

Matt Hasselbeck: No, no, I don't believe you!

Morpheus: Believe it Neo. Do you think that's a real NFL football your throwing? It has festive Hawaiian flowers emblazoned on it. It's Yellow, green and pink Neo.

Matt Hasselbeck: How did this happen?

Morpheus: Several NFL players are hooked into the Pro Bowl. The NFL is trying to fool the world that they're showcasing the best football talent around. It's the most realistic recreation of a football game known to man. Some minds can't reject it's fakeness. People are so intertwined that they just refuse to leave the Matrix.

Matt Hasselbeck: The Matrix?

Morpheus: Yes, Neo. The Matrix, we're in Hawaii right now, which is an alternative reality of football. Look at the Hawaii Warriors, they were undefeated before playing an SEC team. They left the confines of the Matrix and were crushed.

Matt Hasselbeck: So none of this is real? What am I worried about then?

Morpheus: Other than Shaun Alexander being in your backfield next year, I'm not sure.

Matt Hasselbeck: So if this isn't real, does this mean that I can scramble outside the pocket.

Morpheus: Whoah, Matt. Don't get ahead of yourself.

Contact Us

Want to get in contact with Just South of North?

Drop us a line at:

JustSouthofNorth@gmail.com

We'll write back when we return from our latest adventure.

About Us

Welcome to Just South of North


Just South of North is a Northwest sports blog written by two guys, Casey Knopik and Brandon Hansen. Since our lives are more pathetic than the fifth Rocky movie, we've dedicated a large chunk of our time to discussing our weird love for Northwest Sports, the outdoors, humor and squirrels. We think they're funny little creatures. All this complete with a grizzly bear and fresh pine scent.


About the Authors

Casey Knopik - Casey is always up for any outdoor challenge. He graduated from Eastern Washington University with a degree in Journalism. He earned his Eagle Scout through Troop 577. He currently lives in Issaquah, WA.

Favorite teams -
NFL: Seattle Seahawks and Indianapolis Colts
MLB: Kansas City Royals
MLS: Seattle Sounders FC
FBS: University of Washington Huskies
FCS: Eastern Washington University Eagles

You can follow Casey on Twitter at @CaseyKnopik


Brandon Hansen - Brandon loves sports and is scared of bears. Very scared. He also graduated from Eastern Washington University with a degree in journalism. He currently lives in Polson, MT as the Sports Editor at the Lake County Leader.

Favorite teams -
NFL: Tennessee Titans
MLB: Boston Red Sox
MLS: Seattle Sounders FC
FBS: University of Idaho Vandals
FCS: Eastern Washington University Eagles

You can follow Brandon on Twitter at @BrandonwHansen

A possible repeat?

Last season LSU won the NCAA Division 1- Bowl Championship Series, but perhaps the biggest story of the year, besides perhaps Trinity University's miracle lateral play, was about the Appalachian State Mountaineers.

The focus on the Mountaineers was very well diserved. They started off the college football season with an upset win over the then ranked #5 Michigan Wolverines in Ann Arbor.

That win over the Wolverines, was just the stepping stone to a 13-2 record and the Mountaineers 3rd straight NCAA Division 1-AA / Football Subdivision Championship. But despite the two losses, most of their wins looked like one sided arena football scores. (79-35, 45-7, 55-32, 49-21) Oh, I must add, except for their 38-35 victory over Eastern Washington University in the second round of the playoffs. Sure they won, but the Eagles put up a fight.

Anyway, back to the Mountaineers, despite their success this past season, I don't believe they will have a chance against LSU.

LSU is much different than the 2007 Michigan team. The Wolverines were embarrased basically week in and week out. They got their act together at the end, but it was still not a season to write home to mom about.

Where as this LSU team embarrased Ohio State for a national title.

Although, if you look at it this way, nobody gave Appalachian State a chance in Ann Arbor. And nobody will give them a chance in Baton Rouge. Maybe that will work out for the Mountaineers advantage.

Don't be that intramurals guy...

Man, who doesn't love college intramurals. You've got a quarter of the people taking the game way to serious to the point where fisticuffs break out, a quarter of the people who belong to the frat that refs are a part of and get all the calls and then about half of us that remain are mildly sane.

Then there are these people

1. The Sweat Monkey

Covered in a wonderful sheen of his own mucus, the sweat monkey is always the toughest player to guard on the court because nobody wants to catch Hepititis from the guy's sweat. He also smells like someone mixed together raw tuna and a buffalo hide.

2. The guy that has absolutely no business being on the court or field

Forget playing high school sports, you're contemplating if this guy has even left his room in the past five years. He wears accents such a hiking boots with his shorts and an X-files t-shirt that says "Scully is a hotty". Now while we here at JSON think Scully is indeed a hotty, we don't play intramural sports anymore, so we're off the hook. However, we're pretty sure that our love for a fictional FBI agent is why Harry Potter fans laugh at us.

3. The Miami Fan

Never quite got this one. Despite the fact that they're from Ohio, the insist on wearing their Ricky Williams jersey during flag football and Dwayne Wade threads during bball. If that wasn't weird enough, he actually makes references to Don Shula and Marino when he's playing.

4. The old dude

Fresh off his flashback from Nam, this guy had decided to come back to school to get a degree and the full college experience, which would be fine except when he snaps people's necks with his special forces moves when somebody fouls him hard.

5. The Ringer

We're pretty sure Adam Morrison doesn't go to college any more so we're still wondering why he's listed as one of the other team member's distant cousin from Brasil in a late minute substitution. However, true to his NBA career, he has a poor shooting night and finishes with 10 points.

Epic Video of Greatness #4

It's as if their legs flail about as if not attached to their bodies!

Me Shaq. Me get mad. Me like to run.

Shaq is back in the West. Yet, there are many sceptics that question wheather he will be a good fit in Phoenix. Shaq does not like people who say he won't fit in on the Suns. These comments make Shaq mad. So mad in fact, that he is quoted as saying, "I'm very upset. You just don't want to get me really upset. When I'm upset, I'm known to do certain things- like win championships."

Wait, hold on a minute Mr. Shaq. Did you just say that when you get mad you win? I don't want to be the Debby Downer, but how do you win, when you're sitting on the bench?

Other skeptics have said that he won't fit in because of the fast paced run style the Sun have. To them Shaq said, "People assume I can't run. I love you run."

Again, sorry to inturrupt you Mr. Shaq. But when was the last time you actually ran? And not after the ice cream truck. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Anyway, enough picking on Shaq. He is still a good player and will probably make an impact on the Suns. But seriously, NBA players switch teams faster than kids hyped up on sugar run around the fairgrounds.

National Boring Association

Epic Video of Greatness #3

Who ever did this should get a place in the video-game hall of fame...



Keep in mind that this person attempted this 134 times, but the video is looped together creating that weird effect.

Around the World of Sports (and what we think about it)

Here's some top headlines floating around the sports world...

Roger Clemens is screwed. Again. Thanks McNamee.

Shaq may be headed to the Phoenix Suns. Does this mean we'll get a Kazaam Two?

Nolan Ryan becomes president of the Rangers, unclear whether or not he'll suit up this season.

Seahawks name Jim Mora Jr. to replace Holmgren after next year. Meaning that Seattle fans could get a "Playoffs? Playoffs? rant in the near future if they're lucky.

High School Football National Signing Day. I don't about you but I simply don't care about 17-year old kids. It reminds me what a sad individual I've become.

Duke vs. UNC tonight. Rumor has it that the collective nerdiness of both team's student sections may make the Dean Dome this year's largest Star Trek convention.

Epic Video of Greatness #2

This totally ruins my view of Chris Berman...

Challenger Mission Countdown 5...4...3...2...1

In 2005 Ford rocked the automobile world by resurrecting the Mustang with a new body style. The style was reminiscent of the 1967 model.

This model sparked the idea in other manufactures to join in with retro look.

In 2006 Dodge announced that it would bring back the Challenger. And shortly after that, GM announced that in 2009 the Camaro will be reborn as well.

Well, the 2006 Dodge Challenger concept was perhaps the hottest car to hit the motor show in a very long time.

It was modeled after the 1970 Dodge Challenger. And the day that the production model is released is just around the corner. According to http://www.dodgechallengercountdown.com/ we are less than a day from the official unveiling.

Tomorrow the new Pony War begins. This generation's muscle cars have finally arrived. The past has come full circle, and I can't wait!

This car will be amazing. And I will blog about the official car when it is released tomorrow. Until then, I will be waiting in anticipation. This is more exciting than Christmas!

Epic Video of Greatness

We're going to try something new everyday here at Just South of North. We're going to post a EPIC VIDEO OF GREATNESS everyday so make sure you check back otherwise you might be missing something fantastic.

What people are thinking...

With our handy-dandy mind-reader we've been able to figure out what certain people have been thinking after the Super Bowl...

Eli Manning: Dinosaurs are cool! Look I can make a dinosaur noise, RAWRRR! See, didn't that sound like a dinosaur.

Bill Belicheck: Well apparently I get a rebate on selling my soul to the devil now.

Terry Bradshaw: I smell jerky!

Las Vegas: Awwww, hell.

Rex Grossman: If Eli can do it than I can do! Come on, right guys? Why are you taping me to my locker again guys? What's that big nest of bees doing over there... and why are you putting honey on my chest right now?

Peyton Manning: I'm so proud of my little brother. Thank goodness we started doing commercials together. The League of the Future will catch on.

Tom Coughlin: Now maybe NY will stop wanting to fire me. Please?

Trent Green: What? The season is over? When did this happen? I don't even remember it.

John Madden: I could use a Tur-duck-hen. Does Bradshaw have Jerky?

Jeremy Shockey: Ha! Try and win without me guys. Try and beat the Patriots, yeah that's right, I'm going to get wasted up in the luxury suite on national television and you guys can just go pound sand. Oh wait.. damn... you're winning... stop that you're ruining my free agent contract! Plex -- I thought we were tight man.

Joe Buck: How'd you like my performance in my Super Bowl commercial? Why won't you acknowledge me off the air Troy? I am not a joke, Troy? People are not laughing behind my back, Troy? Did you fall asleep again, Troy?

Jerry Manning: Man, wow, sucks being the older brother.

Archie Manning: I'm glad that early 70s microwave accident didn't ruin any of my stock.

Tom Petty: Glad I got that hair dye just in time.

Kurt Warner: I remember that feeling. Instead now I am a backup in the state where the Super Bowl was just held.

Brett Favre: "There was an old woman, who lived in a shoe..."

'72 Dolphins: Thank you Giants. Eli, we love you. Eh em. We mean....that love....it was simply platonic.

Tony Romo: Jessica, heehee. Tickle fight!

Tom Brady: Hello ladies. How you doin?

Peter Griffin: SHAPOOPEE!

Roger Clemens: You know you all should really pay attention to the Super Bowl. I mean forget about baseball, it's really not America's sport anymore. Forget about baseball. Steriods, yeah forget about those too. And uh, just forget about me as well please, and make sure to check back in when they do the Hall-of-Fame voting.

Jake Plummer: I need some comfort food.

Tiki Barber: Well that couldn't have gone any worse for me. Unless of course snakes rained from the sky and bit me. Then that might be considerably worse, but otherwise it's been a pretty terrible weekend for me.

Randy Moss: I should have stayed in Oakland and starred in that animated feature "Space Blitz" with Bugs Bunny and Blippo the amazing pot lighter. Oh, that was a hallucination, great, now I'm glad I came here.

Blink 182: We should get back together to do the half-time show.

The State of Montana: The NFL says that we are the 53 state in line for a team if they expand. Behind Hawaii, L.A., London and Guam.

The Empire Strikes Back (for the 4th time)

Tomorrow is the day. The Super Bowl is finally here. The biggest football game of the year is even bigger this year as the New England Patriots look to become the second team in NFL history to have a perfect regular season and then win the Super Bowl.

They also would become the first NFL team to go 19-0.

But this Patriots team is no stranger to the big game, oh and no stranger to winning it either. It’s because of that that I dubbed them a few posts back The Evil Empire. Yes, many wondered what to call a dynasty that grew even more powerful, and Evil Empire is it.

As for the New York Giants, they are far from glamorous. Their last Super Bowl they lost to a Trent Dilfer led Baltimore Ravens. (Oh, and the Ravens cut Dilfer after the win and have sucked horribly bad since. Way to go guys)

Anyway, the Giants are still living in the glory of upsetting the Buffalo Bills in Super Bowl XXV. That was a long time ago. Plus, this Giants team must now face the Empire that is the Patriots and for that reason they have become the Rebel Alliance.

But both sides need characters to fully complete the transition, so here is the list of players in the game.

Evil empire

Tom Brady – Evil Anakin Skywalker (pre Darth Vader)
I say pre Darth Vader because Darth Vader was such a badass, while everybody hated Anakin. Brady is too much of a pretty boy to ever be as cool as Vader.

Bill Belichick- The Sith Lord
This one is obvious. Not only were they both the leaders of the Empire, but they both wore the same torn up hoodie.

Wes Welker- Storm Trooper
Often overlooked, yet the Storm Troopers were the real heart of the Empire. Welker has proven that he is a great receiver, yet always takes a backseat to Moss.

Randy Moss- Count Dooku
The righthand man of the Emperor. Without the deep threat that Moss provides, would this team be the same? 23 touchdowns is definitely something. Dooku also chopped off good Anakin’s arm. As Moss will do to the DB that covers him.

Laurence Maroney- Darth Maul
Maul wasn’t in the story for very long but when he was, he ruled. Maroney is overlooked in the fact that Brady is on the team. But like Maul, Maroney knows how to kick some serious butt.

Tedy Bruschi- Boba Fett
The bounty hunter Fett and the head hunter Bruschi share a similar hobby. Ripping opposing characters apart.

Rebel Alliance

Eli Manning- Luke Skywalker
For some reason Manning and Mark Hamill pose a striking resemblance. Plus, Eli is the prince of a very powerful family. But for the most part, I think he forgets.

Tom Coughlin- Yoda
Coughlin usually is seen with the same facial expression as Yoda. The main difference though is that Yoda is green and Tom was brilliant red color after the Green Bay game. Although, with the frostbite, he might still turn green.

Michael Strahan- Chewbacca
Chewy was the big fuzzy guy that you didn’t take serious until he was ripping you limb from limb. Same thing for Strahan. With that gap in his teeth you are laughing at him until he grabs you for a snack.

Osi Umenyiora- Hon Solo
The new leader of the defense. Solo was always overlooked for the star Skywalker, Umenyiora is often considered the number two on this defense after Strahan. But the fact of the matter is that Umenyiora is the new leader of this D and Strahan has become the sidekick.

Plaxico Burress- Obi-Wan Kenobi
With his performance during the playoffs, Burress has become a true master of the force. Now we’ll see just how powerful his use of it is, if he plays in the game tomorrow.

Brandon Jacobs- R2D2
Reliable, durable and always there when you need him. Jacobs and R2 are always in the scene, even if over shadowed by another. For R2D2 it was Hamill, for Jacobs it’s Manning.

Amani Toomer- The Ewoks
Toomer has been with the Giants since almost they were founded. Yet, he is still overlooked. As were the Ewoks. The Empire didn’t consider them real threat until the Ewoks whooped the Empire’s butt. Perhaps Toomer will do the same.

I guess we’ll find out tomorrow if Belichick has built this Empire better than the original contractors built the Death Star. Or will Manning finally be able to use the force and pull off the biggest upset of all time.

Congress is sticking their nose somewhere it doesn't need to be

Nevermind our foreign debt is larger than Kristie Alley, never mind we've fighting a war over in Iraq, never mind our health care system is an utter sham.

Let's have Congress spend it's time and resources trying to figure out whether or not the Patriots cheated.

Wait, didn't the NFL take care of this way back in Week 2? Is Congress now making the brave step of supposedly cleaning up the dirty sport of football?

What exactly are they trying to accomplish other than making headlines for themselves. Who wouldn't want to be the guy or gal that took down the Patriots?

Oh wait, just about every other team in the NFL tries to steal the signs of the other team on a regular basis. It's part of the game. Are you telling me that DBs and LBs aren't watching the coaches when they try to sign in an audible? Hell, Shannon Sharpe admitted that he was trying to do the same thing to defenses he lined up against when he played. And Shannon Sharpe is one real dude, how can you argue with a man who's got more Super Bowl rings than Peyton Manning.

Oh wait.. Well Peyton choked this year so I guess that statement doesn't really hold any validity.

While I agree with the fine and the lost of a draft pick, I don't see this as a tainted championship.

I see this as a team that is leaps and bounds better than the rest of the teams of the NFL.

However, it will probably take a committee in Congress to figure that one out.