Back on the Market

I have been a faithful Seattle Seahawks fan for 23 years now. I have loved them when they were horrible and I couldn't watch a home game thanks to the NFL blackout rule. (I grew up 42 miles from Seattle so it falls in the 100 mile blackout radius of non-soldout games). I would instead listen to them on the radio.
I was a Seahawk fan when nobody else was. And I figured I always would be. Until their latest actions. No, I'm not talking about the loss. As a Seahawks fan I have gotten used to the losses. Instead I am talking about the players they just cut. One of which was my favorite: Ryan Plackemeier.

Plackemeier joined the team from Wake Forest and not only did he have a cool name, but he was a punter. And nobody's favorite player is ever the punter, so he became mine.

It wasn't his fault the Hawks lost by 24 points to the Bills. But I guess Holmgren needed someone to blame the loss on. Heaven forbid he blame it on his quarterback Matt Hasselbeck who was just plain awful during the loss. Or the defense that gave up 34 points.

They also released Justin Forsett. This move makes no sense. With all the injuries at receiver and Mo Morris out, who will return punts? Yeah, let's get rid of the one guy who did the best during pre-season at that position.

But the Hawks had hoped to place Forsett, who did amazing all preseason long, on their practice squad. But the Colts saw he was availible and snatched him up. Good for him. And good for the Colts. Stupid Seahawks.

The release of these two players caused me to have flashbacks to 2002 when the Hawks let go of the best punt and kickoff returner in franchise history in Charlie Rogers. In just three seasons with the Hawks he covers the return records. He was my favorite player, yet they let him get scooped up by the Houston Texans when they came into the league.

Because of the release of Ryan Plackemeier, I don't know if I can be a Seahawks fan anymore. So, I am taking suggestions on who will be my new favorite team. Here are a few exceptions:

I have loved the Colts since Manning joined them 11 years ago. That was because I liked him at Tennessee. So I have become used to them being my second favorite team. Let's find me a new favorite team.

No Cowboys, Raiders, Packers, Bears, Patriots or Steelers: Cause I hate all those teams WAY too much to ever like them.

No Broncos: Cause that's my girlfriend's favorite team and besides, who likes Denver anyway?

No Giants: Cause people only like them outside of New York cause they won a Super Bowl.

No Dolphins, Chiefs, Falcons, Lions, 49ers, Cardinals or Rams: Cause these teams are just terrible.

No Vikings, Panthers, Saints or Bengals: Too many fair weather fans each year.

No Titans: That's Brandon's team. Don't even want to touch that one.

No Texans: Don't like that state.

No Jets, Bills, Eagles or Ravens: Don't want to like an East Coast team.

No Browns: Who likes the Browns?

No Redskins: That's my dad's favorite team. Can't like them too.

No Jaguars or Buccaneers: Again, east coast and Florida.

That leaves me with just one team.

They are a west coast team. And have the sweetest powder blue uniforms. I guess I am now a SAN DIEGO CHARGERS fan.

So Chargers first, then Colts second. I like this. So long Seahawks, I'll always hold a special place in my heart for you. And who knows, once Holmgren leaves, maybe we can see each other again.

Until then, you will be my 3rd team. Sad day.

How the Patriots plan to replace Tom Brady

Well now that the Patriot's season is absolutely dicked without Tom Brady, they're going to have to find a way to replace him since their backup might as well be the hot dog guy that hangs out in downtown Spokane. Here's some suggestions:

Bring in Shane Falco
I know he had a bad Sugar Bowl, but Ohio State always chokes in the big games. You can't put in squarely on the shoulders of Falco. Besides, he also leads the league in hooking up with semi-attractive side love story cheerleaders and knocking the opposing mascot out with a tight spiral.

Just direct snap it to Randy Moss every play
Make sure he's driving his Escalade and put a police officer and a bag of cannibis in the endzone and Moss will score every single time.

Jeff George
Why not? Everyone else in the league has had him on the roster at one point or another. And the potential Bill Bellichick/Jeff George sideline arguement would be epic.

A drunk monkey
Pay him in peanuts, give him a funny hat and people will come out to the stadium to watch it. At the very least this would be a better choice than Jeff George and still better than most of the quarterbacks in the NFC.

Dante Culpepper
Forget Chris Simms. Besides, New England isn't that far from the water, and we all know Culpepper loves to spend some "fun times" near the water.

Reasons why you're still single

- You celebrated after scoring the game-tying touchdown, causing referees to flag you and back the extra point up 15 yards. Then the extra point is missed. COUGH COUGH Jake Locker COUGH COUGH

- You're a Wazzu fan.

- You're an EWU grad but you wont buy season tickets this season to their football games. Actually, you'll probably just buy up 15 seats in the student section once they make the Div. I-AA playoffs.

- You're a Nebraska Cornhusker fan.

Epic Video: Brian Urlacher's troubled past

Brian Urlacher used to play World of Warcraft.

Epic Video: Last game at Yankee Stadium

A perfect look at Yankee fans.

NFL Football is here!

Which means we can basically forget about how much the Mariners suck and look forward to seeing Mike Holmgren do his best papa smurf impression on the sidelines. Just so you don't end up with turf toe, I've come up with an NFL survival guide for the season.

Don't mention the Pats one loss last season to a Pats fan
Although do mention that Tom Brady is wearing a booty. Not a boot, a booty.

Break up with your significant other
Unless of course she goes shopping on Sunday. Now I'm waiting for the "Brandon, you need a girlfriend" emails in five, four, three, two one...

Don't tell me that college football is better
Because it's not, it's a completely different sport. If the BCS decided who went to the Super Bowl and NFL squads could play warmup games against high school teams, then you might have an argument, otherwise just be quiet.

Root for Jim Zorn
If you're from the state of Washington, you will root for the head coach of the Redskins. I mean they stunk against the Giants but you've got to love Jim Zorn.

Ignore the Super Bowl Predictions
Because nobody on national television has a stinkin' clue. Do you think they watch sports once they get off work? No, they go to the bar and hit on high schoolers. Mark Chumura might have a second career...

Send an email to Brett Favre urging him to change his name to Cuatro.
That would be... awesome.

Reasons why you're still single

You wear a Colts Manning jersey to the Giants vs. Redskins game. Wrong Manning buddy.

Chad Ocho Cinco

Every blogger everywhere is filling their pages full of talk about Chad Ocho Cinco. Yeah, the wide receiver formally known as Chad Johnson.

Well, in honor of Chad Ocho Cinco, we here at Just South of North think the man is a genius. And as such have decided to change our names.

Despite our best attempts, we were unable to top "Eight Five." And decided to just go eat some food in Riverfront Park, Spokane, Washington.

Anyway, leave some comments on name suggestions. Who knows, we might just listen to one. (But probably not)

Oh, and by the way, Thunder is official. The Oklahoma City Thunder. As I said before. Thunder is basically an atmospheric fart. In other words, what Clay Bennett did in the face of Seattle. So the name is perfect.

Street Racing in Spokane

Since I've graduated from college and the chance to go party and tear down a street sign or two has sadly passed by, all the excitement in my life has left. Luckily, I've taken to street racing in Spokane. If you wonder why all those cars are sitting at stoplights reving their engine it's because they're about to rap the sh** out of their Honda civic to beat the guy next to them up the street. It's a tough and mean culture that I have sadly fallen into.

My car -- a 1994 Ford Taurus with a failing U-joint and transmission is the perfect vehicle for street racing in Spokane. It has two holes in the plastic bumpers, one hole which i have plugged up with a pop can for added effect. I merely pull up to a stoplight blaring "Hamster Dance" to announce my presence.

Once all the 16-18 year olds in their vastly inadequate cars scoff at my music choice... I merely beat them off the line.

By running the red light. My 0-60 time in the Taurus is a little slow.

And then I finish the night by stopping by the local gathering of street racers in front of "Babies R' Us" on North Division Street, playing this jewel of a song.

You'll all be happy to know that I've only been shot at once or twice.

Our thoughts on college football in Week One...

-East Carolina University is the Pirates. And they did a mighty job of raiding and pillaging the win from Virgina Tech. Yarg!

- The game was played in Charlotte, N.C. at the Carolina Panthers' Bank of America Stadium. Despite the fact that it was supposed to be something of a "home game" for the Pirates (Carolina is in their school name for heaven's sake), the place was packed with Virginia Tech fans. Then after some research, Charlotte is actually closer to Blacksburg where VT is located (160 miles) compared to ECU's Greenville home address (which was 250 miles away). Go figure.

- With every 10 hard hits that Jake Locker takes, he loses a year of his life. In the loss to Oregon he lost 12 years.

- There's only one thing more inaccurate than Miss Cleo's tarot card readings... Jake Locker's passes.

- Paul Wulff has left Cheney, and in doing so seemed to have added a few pounds. But maybe it was just that the cameras add 57 pounds.

- or maybe it's the fact that several players for the Cougars have either been arrested or suffered season-ending injuries. That or he can actually eat now on the salary that WSU gives him.

- Also, if you watched the game, how many times did they cut to Wulff pacing back and forth on the sidelines at Quest with a perturbed look on his face?

- Michigan is terrible, no matter who is the coach.

- And what's really sad is that Utah beating the Wolverines is not an upset.

- Penn State however crushed their opponent, with the same coach they've had for the past 100 years.

- And speaking of old coaches, did anyone catch Dr. Lou during ESPN gameday? We'll be tuning into that on a weekly basis.

- Eastern Washington University put up 24 points on Texas Tech, which was more points than Washington State University and the University of Washington put up together.

- And yet WSU and UW refuse to play the Eagles in a playdown game.

- LSU is better than Michigan. But it took blowing App. State out of the water to prove that. Wait, no didn't. Michigan is terrible.

- There is talk of making the Big Ten a FCS conference.

- Chattanooga put up 2 whole points on Oklahoma, and allowed 52 points. Washington plays Oklahoma in two weeks. This is not going to be pretty. Final score: Oklahoma 112, Washington -4.

- That's going to be off of one field goal and an extra point.

- Cal Poly has a football team. Yeah, I was surprised too. And somehow that football team beat San Diego State 29-27.

- And Brandon's new-found FBS team, the Idaho Vandals, had a less than stellar start against the Arizona Wildcats. Okay, that was an understatement -- the Vandals lost 70-0. Wow.

Reasons why you're still single

You wear an Idaho Vandals t-shirt in public.

Seriously.

It's Gametime Baby!

It's finally here! I've been waiting since February for this moment. The day football finally begins again. We have to wait a little longer for the pros to hit the field, but college ball started tonight. And what a way to start!

I have a cousin that goes to the University of South Carolina, and he had been hyping this game between the Gamecocks and North Carolina State. He was pretty excited for the national spotlight for his school. And as the game wore on, he deserved to be. The Gamecocks won handily at 34-0.

Another big opening day match up came within the PAC-10. Oregon State (not wearing their sport bra uniforms much to Brandon's disappointment) got started on wrong foot. Loosing to...wait for it...wait for it...yes, the Beavers dropped this game to Stanford 36-28. Stanford of all schools! They're supposed to be the team PAC-10 teams get excited to play, cause they know it will be a win. Wait, that's now Washington State or Washington. Sad day.

The University of Miami won. But nobody cares.

Number 23 Wake Forest lived up to the hype that's been building around the Demon Deacons with a 41-13 crushing of Baylor. The team looked very good, but don't get too excited. Cause it was the Bears of Baylor and Baylor never wins. The only football team worse than them could be Duke. And Duke doesn't even know where the endzone is.

Georgia Tech beat Jacksonville State (which is lead by quarterback Ryan Perrilloux) HAHAHA. Sorry. Anyway, Tech won 41-14.

UConn beat Hofstra. Who the heck is Hofstra? Is this a made up place? Kinda like Oz? Allow me to visit the most trusted Wikipedia.

Hofstra University is a private, nonsectarian, coeducational institution of higher learning located in Hempstead, Long Island, New York (USA) founded in 1935 on the basis of the estate of wealthy lumber magnate William S. Hofstra (1861-1932) and his (second) wife Kate Mason (1854-1933). The school began as a college of New York University and in 1937 became an independent school called Hofstra College,^[1] later changing its name to Hofstra University in 1963.

In other words, a bunch of rich, preppy kids. Way to go UConn. Really soak this one in.

And lastly, Vanderbilt beat the other Miami (the one in Ohio with out all the bikini clad women) 34-13. But their quarterback Chris Nickson looked great doing it. On the way to the win he rushed for 166 yards, two touchdowns and threw in another one. Not a bad first day.

Man I'm glad it's fall.

Alright, I'm off to join Shaggy and Scooby for another zaney adventure in the Mystery Machine. No seriously though. I'm off on an adventure. I'll keep you posted.

Where the heck have we been?

If you're wondering what the heck Casey and I have been doing for the past week, I'll give you a few options and please feel free to add any more excuses for our blogging laziness.

1. Brandon decided to start an angry girl rock band "The Mad Gingers."

2. Casey has been answering media calls for the Seattle Mariners, which has actually been just one voicemail by an overweight and balding season ticketholder complaining about the rain.

3. Brandon has been in Beijing competing in the trampoline jumping event. He got last place when he landed on his head and shouted out a bunch of curse words that frightened the underaged Chinese gymnastics team.

4. Casey had a case of the munchies, and ended up in the hospital after a bad batch of Sour Patch Kids.

5. Casey was busy filming his cameo in "DareDevil 2" ... he played Ben Afleck's acting ability.

6. Brandon was trying to brush up on his Shakespeare skills and ended up instead watching "Ten Things I Hate About You."

7. Brandon and Casey uncovered a undead mummy who threatened to take over the world. Then they realized it was actually Brendan Fraiser's acting career.

8. Madden '09 came out, nuff said.

9. Brandon realized he was actually a smurf.

10. Casey had gas.

Tall men more fun than a subway full of monkeys

China has the Olympics, now they again have the tallest man in the world.

China's Bao Xishun reclaimed the title of "Tallest man in the World" when Ukrainian Leonid Stadnyk refused to be measured under new guidelines.

The new rules state that the man needs to measured six times throughout the day. And while Xishun may enjoy the spotlight, Stadnyk did not.

Bao, who stands at 7 feet, 8.95 inches, held the title for a year before losing it in 2006 to Stadnyk, who is 8 feet 5.5 inches tall.

And who says the Chinese are short?!? I can't even imagine being that tall.

"From up here, everybody look like ants!"


In other news, Brett Favre is now a New York Jet. Wait, you already knew that? Oh, right. Then why in the world is everybody still fascinated with him!?!?!?! Enough already.


In other news that nobody cares about, the Mayor of Mount Isa, Australia angered many local women when he invited "beauty-disadvantaged women" to move to the mining town.

The mayor said he was "telling it like it is" in a testosterone-laden town more famous for cowboys and mining lead, silver, copper and zinc than for match-making."

Cut the guy some slack people. He was just trying to get a date for New Year's this year. And not Bubba this time.


And lastly, a Tokyo monkey avoided a dozen police at a subway station for two hours before escaping in a crowd of excited children.

"It's a monkey - it's not like it did anything bad," a police spokesman said, adding that the animal was still on the loose.

Good call police spokesman. It is a monkey. And yes, it flings poo. Glad to see that Tokyo's cops are really cracking down on that monkey crime spree.

"Hey, shouldn't we be stopping that guy who is robbing that lady"
"No way man. We have to stop that monkey from being a monkey."

Epic Photo: Hail to the Chief

We've got some serious issues here in America with our economy, there's a war raging in Iraq and Afghanistan and Russia just invaded another country.

And George W. Bush just keeps on chugging. Git-R-Done.

Now if they could only get Vin Baker

Shawn Kemp is headed to Europe. Which means they should soon have a population explosion, thanks to the former SuperSonics legendary fertility.

The Italian team Premiata Montegranaro announced on Sunday that 38-year-old Shawn Kemp has agreed to play for the team starting in November.

"I am happy that a player that has made basketball history would come to Montegranaro," coach Alessandro Finelli said.

Finelli believed that the six-time NBA All-Star, who last played in the NBA in 2002-03, could still contribute.

"He is very motivated," Finelli said. "And he has been staying in shape to show up at our camp in good shape."

Which basically means he's able to fit in the doorway. For the full story on Kemp, check it out here.

Man, sucks to be you

Say what you will about Michael Phelps, and James from Collegiate Handyman has plenty to say:

"All the American Announcers want to jump his bone, they don't even talk about the rest of the swimmers. I'd rather just watch the Canadian broadcasts."

Well said, I'll try to talk a bout another swimmer ... Serbia's Milorad Cavic, who was leading Phelps in the 100m butterfly but instead of taking one last stroke, he coasted and tried to stretch out for the victory, which allowed the American swimmer to do one last stroke and push ahead quickly for a .01 margin of victory.

Thank goodness for touchpad sensors.

It's really go to suck to be Cavic right now. He had the race, but a half-second action cost him a gold medal. But really... don't coast to victory, you still had enough room to do a final stroke.

Okay, I have no idea why I'm calling people out on swimming when I couldn't make it across a pool at the local Holiday Inn.

Hey, does anyone know if the Davenport Hotel has a pool?

GO VANDALS!

Since my alma mater, Eastern Washington University, plays in the highest level of collegiate football with a playoff system, the Football Championship Subdivision, I have found myself with an open slot for a Football Bowl Subdivision team to root for.

I figured I would also enjoy rooting for a big program to win six games and make it to the Chicken of the Sea Bowl, or perhaps win 10 games and get shut out of the national championship game in order to make room for Ohio State to choke again.

However, I can’t run my allegiance with Washington State since everyone is a Cougar fan around these parts. Rooting for the Washington Huskies is a fate worse than death. Oregon State has sports bra uniforms and are therefore automatically taken off the list, and I can’t root for the Oregon Ducks because their uniforms remind me of the movie Tron.

Which leaves Idaho.

It makes perfect sense for me to root for the Vandals since (a) the first college football game I ever watched was at the Kibbie Dome, a barn-burner against EWU (The Eagles won 8-5), and (b) Idaho fans could probably use a few more bodies to bolster their ranks at this juncture in time.

So I’ll be loading up Idaho as my favorite team on NCAA Football ‘09, writing long forum posts about how much Boise State is the spawn of Satan and probably invest in a couple Vandals polos and twill baseball caps.

And I’ll also be writing about my experiences as a new Vandal fan, so stay tuned as Idaho runs through their 2008 football schedule.

Total OUCH!

Here's a link to a video about the weightlifter who dislocated his elbow while lifting. It is disturbing and looks extremely painful.

Janos Baranyai is a Hungarian weightlifter. This happened Wednesday at the Beijing Olympics.

VIEW IT HERE

Yeah, not fun.

Epic Video: Facebook

God attends Chico State. I am so transferring. Here's those crazy guys over at Barats and Bereta.

How to make the Olympics more interesting

The Olympics are lame. Admit it. It's a bunch of sports that are pretty much unwatchable, and to add insult to injury, everything is tape-delayed. It used to be the perfect stage for capitalism vs. communism, good vs. evil and now it's more drugged up than somebody that got their wisdom teeth taken out.

Fear not though, it's possible once again to have an interesting Olympics. They just need to put these events in...

Beer Pong
It would be a dead heat between the Americans and Germans. Light beer would be regulation, causing all Olympic teams to train with Guinness and Mickey's. With this event, how many more college students with drinking problems would then be considered to be "chasing the dream."

Thunderdome
Two men enter, one man leaves.

Hotdog eating contest
Can you imagine the NBC broadcast graphics that would track the puking?

"It looks like Jerry Hanson from Canada has upchucked a record twenty times during these Olympics. No way that was the kind of performance he wanted to put in this year."

Mascot races
Get all the world's best sports mascots and make them run over a moat full of alligators. They actually do this in Iran, so why not make this an actual sport.

Beat the crap out of Richard Simmons
Style points for doing it in a glittery one-piece.

Any other suggestions?

Epic Video: Olympic rap

Tacoma resident, Paul Brogan is at it again.



Here's his MySpace with more raps.

Epic Photo: At least he isn't wearing a fur coat

God, this is weird.

Brett Favre on the New York Jets? This is like when you go back to your hometown and they've torn down a familiar building and put up a Starbucks.

I don't know if there's anyone I can be mad at in this situation. Brett Favre retired and then decided he wanted to come back and play (hey, Michael Jordan did it twice). The Green Bay Packers had to rebuild for the future sometime and we're probably tired of getting jerked around each season with retirement talk from Favre and then having him come back. They drafted Aaron Rogers for a reason and need to get the ball moving on that era.

You coach, run and draft for your team with a plan in mind and the Packers have been in limbo for a couple of years. So even if you're a Favre fan you've got to understand where they're coming from.

However, could they have handled it differently? Sure. So could Favre.

But they both stared each other in the eye until somebody finally blinked. Who blinked is still up to interpretation, though.

You've got to love that Favre still wants to play, although if any other player pulled this, he'd probably get torn apart by the media. I just hope this doesn't become...

Johnny Unitas to the San Diego Chargers
Jerry Rice to the Seattle Seahawks
Emmit Smith in Arizona
Michael Jordan in Washington (oh yeah, I went there)

This may end up being like Joe Montana in Kansas City, which wasn't a complete bust and does nothing to tarnish his legacy.

However with the Packer gold gone from Favre's jersey, I would dare say that has already happen to some extent.

Mario's girlfriend nightmare

After just playing the latest digital rendition in plumber butt-kicking goodness "Mario Galaxy," it got me thinking about how many Mario games I've played where the princess is in trouble. With the exception of Super Mario 2 which isn't a real Mario game and should be renamed "Super Turnip Throwing," he's always trying to get this girl out of one situation or another.

It would suck to be Princess Peach's boyfriend for the following reasons.

1. She's high maintenance
"Sorry, but the princess is in another castle." Are you serious? I just jumped over steaming hot pits of Lava, fought a freakin' dinosaur and you're telling me she's not even in the castle?

2. Her friends are lame
They're short, annoying and wear funny hats.

3. She hangs out with shady characters
Bowser has captured her again? How many stinkin' times will she run into green, scaled, infinitely evil beings at the bar? Doesn't she have some sort of protection or cock block (read: fat friend)?

4. She wears the same thing every day
Pink dresses are soooo 1987.

5. She's a bad driver
Think about it, how many people do you know play Peach during a game of Mario Kart? More people go for Koopa Troopa and that guy doesn't even have opposeable thumbs.

6. She's crazy
She's lost a grasp of reality after hanging around the "Mushroom Kingdom" for so long. After all, shrooms are a gateway drug.

Epic Photo: The REAL Batman

Yeah. Just look.

Bob Dullam has built a real tumbler. Yeah. Pretty sweet.

Read more about it here.

Now that would make for a pretty sweet Halloween costume. He drives in (through a wall of course) and then beats up a guy dressed like the Joker. Maybe the guy who tried to steal the stuff from a theater on the premier of Dark Knight.

Yeah, totally first place.

Epic Video: Why I hate Jim Rome

This is a classic, I was just thinking about Jim Rome today and figured I'd show this wonderful nugget of joy again. Why did Jim Everett get so mad? Here's the explanation from Wikipedia:

Following the 1989 regular season, Everett was reportedly "shellshocked" from the multiple times he was sacked and hit in the NFC Championship game against the San Francisco 49ers (the 49ers won, 30-3). At one point in the game, Everett was so rattled that he collapsed to the ground in the pocket merely in anticipation of yet another sack, even though the 49ers' defensive players actually had not yet reached him—a play now known as Everett's "phantom sack".[1] From then on he was perceived to shy away from hits, and later acknowledged that his confidence was never fully restored.

Phantom sack? Isn't that how Brett Favre gave Michael Strahan the single-season sack record? Why doesn't anyone call that guy Chris?

Life after college...

Ever wonder why your favorite professional sports player (or in this case, Kyle Orton of the Chicago Bears) goes and does something really dumb at the bar? Because while every year numerous kids graduate from college, they don't actually graduate mentally for college. That transition usually comes after you have kids, marriage, mortgage and a swollen prostate. Hence when professional athletes get drafted, the don't become professional athletes overnight, they're still college kids -- just with a crapload of money.

Hence, Pacman Jones making it rain.

However, some things do change after college, and it's usually this:

1. In the eyes of your parents, you go from becoming a student full of promise working hard for good grades -- to a deadbeat without a job.

2. You suddenly feel old using Facebook.

3. Now instead of your college calling and asking why tuition hasn't been paid yet, it will be calling and asking for a donation as an alumni... every single week.

4. That crappy college car that was acceptable in society is now just a crappy car and any chance you had of getting a girlfriend is rusting away quicker than your front bumper.

5. If you wake up and go out in sweatpants, you're officially a douche.

6. Now when you talk to foreign exchange students you're just a creep.

7. Ultimate Frisbee is no longer cool.

8. However, company softball games are.

9. If you got back to watch one of your college's athletic events, you've got to wear a ridiculous sweaters or outdated hats celebrating it's 1993 bow game.

10. Fart wars kind of lose their luster.

Greatest American Dog

CBS has a new show out for the summer season called Greatest American Dog. Well, a native of the Pacific Northwest is on the show. Oh, and her owner too.

J.D and his dog Galaxy are from Bend, Oregon. And oddly enough I have met him while he and his dogs were performing at the King County Fair in Enumclaw, Washington two years ago. He seemed like a nice guy, and his dogs were amazing.

Here's a link to their official bios on the CBS site.

Galaxy is a 9 year old English Pointer and Border Collie mix.

After watching the show, I would honestly be surprised if they didn't win. Galaxy is very smart, and is very well trained.

Epic Photo: Batman

Here's how the price of gas has been affecting Batman




Oh, and congrats to Brandon for somehow surviving another year. Yeah, we are all pretty amazed at that. Especially with all the threats from Montana fans. Here's to another one!

Reasons why you're still single

You're forty years old and you spilled your beer on my little cousin while trying to lean over the railing to give the mascot a high five at a minor-league baseball game.

God, I need a baseball fix.

That's why I'm going to shower you with a crapload of baseball links.

The Real Crash Davis -- unfortunately, that means he sleeps with Susan Sarandon. This is one thing that always bugged me about the movie Bull Durham. Great, great, great baseball movie, but I just don't think Susan Sarandon is attractive. She's got nursing home looks and is just a blatant wacko in real life. She's up there with the girl from Top Gun as the most un-hot hot girls in movies.

Griffey is going to the White Sox -- and reportedly, will still wear his cap backwards.

And if you haven't heard about it, which means you're really stupid, Manny Ramirez has been traded to the LA Dodgers (where he'll reunite with NOOOMAAARRRR) in a three-team trade that has Jason Bay going to Boston from the Pirates.

You can't see me right now but I'm doing the Peter Griffen "SHIPOOPI" dance. This is exactly the move that the Sox needed to make. There's a reason why they've won two World Series.

The Joke is on you

Our first story comes from Three Rivers, Michigan where 20 year old Spencer Taylor was arrested for attempting to steal items from The Dark Knight from a theather. The best part, he was dressed up as the Joker.

Taylor is now going to face larceny and malicious destruction of property chargers. Looks like the Joker looses again. Only this time, to a high school kid who sells popcorn during the summer. But man, what a sweet mug shot.

In other stuff, have you heard about Mighty Muggs? Yeah, they are kinda like the new Beanie Babies for nerds. Only these are at least cool. Check them out here.

Basically stick figures in Marvel, Indiana Jones and Star Wars clothing. Oh, and 100% recycled awesome (or plastic) you decide. Yeah for Hasbro.

Speaking of Hasbro, the 2nd installment of the hugely popular Transformers movie is starting to create some buzz.

First of all it will star Shia LeBeouf. Who is in every big summer movie lately.

Secondly, it shows that without an alien car driving him, LeBeouf can't drive. Read it here.

Basically, LaBeouf was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving after an auto accident in which he was injured early Sunday, a police official said on July 27, 2008.

Autobots, transform and roll out! Except for you Bumblebee. You've been hitting the motor oil a bit hard lately.

In an interview for the September edition of America's Details magazine, Shia said: "It's not something that is conducive to being a role model.

And I don't know how to do it like a gentleman. I don't know how to have one drink."

Awww... poor guy. Must be tough making tons of money. But acting like a jerk comes easy.

Livin' on a Prayer

As many as you know, Bon Jovi is pretty much my all-time favorite musician. So when the AFL had their Arena Bowl in New Orleans today, I had to root for the Philadelphia Soul, since it's owned by the Livin' on a Prayer maestro.

And they didn't disappoint, beating the San Jose Sabercats 59-56 (who have won three AFL championships) in a very entertaining game that went right down to the last possession. And even the last possession was entertaining because the Soul had to run out the clock and instead of taking a knee (which would just stop the clock), the quarterback ran off the final 15 seconds of the game by dropping back three times for roughly 30 yards and heaving the ball into the stands.

Don't forget that former Spokane Shock player Rob Keefe was also on the squad.

One thing that I did like about the broadcast was the fact that the players and coaches were completely miked. So if something was said on the field, you heard it. Now I'm assuming their was a five-second delay so they could bleep out profanity (which was a jarring mute of all sound on the television), which would be the most interesting job in all of sports: listening for player and coach profanity.

Now if Dennis Green were involved in the game, it probably would be the worst job in all of sports.

What are your guys' thoughts on the AFL?

Epic Photo: I'm not really worried about the Arizona Cardinals beating the Seahawks

Got this from Deadspin.com.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008-2009 Arizona Cardinals starting quarterback.

Now normally I would dive into some sort of lame attempt at humor to bring down Matt Leinart (far right, for those of you that think he might be the father of your baby), but I got to thinking about certain pictures of me floating around the internet...


....

Okay, you get a free pass this time Matt.

Adam Morrison is alive

People in Spokane may get a chance to see Adam Morrison again before he's whisked away to the basketball black hole known as the Charlotte Bobcats and never seen again (Until the Bobcats move to Seattle to replace the Sonics).

The 'stache is hosting a golf tournament benefiting charity, and also to throw in a little curve ball, he's also having a Halo 3 Tournament.

Say what you will about the guy, but that's an ingenious idea. Who wouldn't want to match up against the former Gonzaga player in a matchup of the Master Chiefs.

And they're hosting it in the middle of a mall so it's bound to bring a crowd.

I really hope this doesn't become a common occurrence for Adam, since holding a controller is much different than taking a jump shot in the NBA. He's had a rough go so far with injuries and such (missed all of last season), which is a shame. I'm keeping score right now with who's going to turn out better, my alma mater's Rodney Stuckey or Morrison. But if he continues to be on the DL, we're never going to be able to settle that.

One thing is for sure though, Gonzaga really needs one of its kids to do good in the NBA. Turiaf has become a solid sixth man, but he's more of a Mark Madsen light (I just puked in my mouth).

I'm on 'roids

There's a new blog in town, Journalism Juicers, and they'll subsequently be taking pot shots at me any chance they get.

Just keep the ugly girl hookups and drunk tirades involving a can of Raid out of this, guys.

Anyways, it's put on by Eric Schwartz and Cary Rosenbaum, both real swell people and quality journalists. So go read their blog, it's already got some entertaining posts on it.

And unlike Fishbear Sports, they're not a bunch of Tri-City homers. Seriously Joel, stop supporting a lost cause.

Beer Me

Thanks to my wonderful addiction to the History Channel, I discovered a few facts about beer, which no doubt will lead me to drink more.

Beer Anthropologist is a real job -- Thanks Eastern Washington University for not having that major when I was in school. Apparently you go around the world studying the history of beer. So does that mean you're doing "studying" when you go to the bar and therefore can you do it during work hours?

Beer was a cleaner and safer alternative as a drink in the Middle Ages -- So basically civilization in Europe relied on its existence.

Monks drank a crapload of beer -- The church actually controlled the brewing and disbursement of beer, meaning that the monks and other religious were quite involved in the drinking scene.

In 1814, a storage vat burst in London, causing a 25-foot wave of beer to go crashing down a street, killing eight -- If there's one way to go, it's drowning in beer.

Epic Video: WNBA Brawl

Man I'm going to start watching more WNBA basketball if this keeps happening...


One of players suffered a knee sprain and left the game in a wheelchair. Although there's an assistant coach for the Detroit Shock that is probably hurting a lot more after pulling off this wonderful "douche" move...

Detroit Shock assistant coach Rick Mahorn, center, grabs the arm of Los Angeles Sparks' assistant coach Laura Beeman while being hit on the back by Sparks' DeLisha Milton-Jones, second from right, during a fight in the closing seconds of a WNBA basketball game on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 in Auburn Hills, Mich. Mahorn was ejected from the game for pushing Sparks' Lisa Leslie while attempting to keep Leslie from approaching the Shock bench during a bench-clearing fight in which four were ejected.

Funny thing is that brawls apparently are becoming common place at Auburn Hills, I'm wondering when they'll start moving basketball games into the Octagon.

Thundercats!

Well, the Supersonics are gone. And now the new nickname of the team in Oklahoma City...Thunder. AKA...lame.

Here is what one comment on the OKC version of the report said,

(16) KL says:

Thunder means you missed the lightning. Thunder is what happens after power is expelled. Thunder is just sound but no flash. Thunder is second place–lightning always comes in first. Lightning starts the fire, thunder is just a boom. Ooooo….. thunder….scary to little kids….makes ‘em run to Mommy. Someone musta used up all the marketing money buying the team….I’m sure there is a High School Business Club in the state that could come up with something better than an atmospheric fart. Oklahoma City Storm Farts … ain’t buying that jersey.

Congratulations Oklahoma City. You stole Seattle's team. You then named them like a WNBA team, or even a youth soccer team.

Yeah for the atmospheric farts.

The Dark Knight

I'll admit it. When I first heard way back when the second Batman Begins was announced, that Heath Ledger would be playing the Joker, I was saddened. I just didn't think he had what it took to play a role like this.

And then the screen shots started showing up. And wow they looked good.

Sadly, Ledger's death came too soon. And many were afraid this role would ruin his acting story.

I just saw The Dark Knight. (for the second time actually) and it is simply amazing. I won't say that Ledger deserves an Oscar or not, only because the people who pick the winners always pick people from movies nobody has ever heard of.

But he is simply astounding in this movie. Even trying to picture Ledger, all you can see is the Joker. He didn't just play a role, he became a role. If you haven't seen it, I would say go now. Yes, right now!

And then let me know what you think.

Reasons why you're still single...

Your career aspirations are to become an Air Force photographer, yet you work at a convenience store...

Oh yeah, and you talk with a lisp.

Shocking development

Covered the Spokane Shock's 78-51 victory over the Quad City Steamwheeler's last night. It was a pretty crazy game with the Shock scoring 56 points in the first half and recovering four kickoffs to the Steamwheelers.

You can check out my game story here.

And you can check out a slide show of the game here.

With that victory, Spokane clinches home-field advantage throughout the entire af2 playoffs and -- if they make it to the championship game -- the Arena Cup. That's a good thing considering they sell out that place with 10,000+ fans every weekend.

Madden '09 is almost here

... and I'm about to chew my hands off in anticipation. Check out my GOWF post about what I've been doing to shake off the Madden withdrawals...

I'm not counting down the days or anything. Alright, that was lie. This game is something I've been waiting for more eagerly than graduation from college, Christmas and Ritchie Sexson getting traded to the Yankees.

August 12th is a long, long ways off in the mind of a obsessed NFL fan. It's not that I'm a huge gamer, but there is a certain "the season is almost here" feeling you get when you unwrap the latest version of Madden and find out that the programmers completely shafted your favorite team's ratings.

For the reasons, and a funny picture of Madden... click here.

Game On

Alright, we've back playing regular season baseball after a pretty impressive All-Star Game. Here's a couple of predictions I've got for the rest of the season. Tell me if I'm being too obvious or not.

The Yankees will make a run in the second half followed by roughly thirty "The Yankees are back!" articles by Sports Illustrated and ESPN.com

Should we really go through the whole charade of being surprised. The Yankees do this every year, and people got crazy everytime it happens. Come on, it's like the inevitable Ken Griffey Jr. injury (god bless his heart) or a Lou Pineilla freak out.

The Montreal Expos will make a comeback in the standings

A team that has been defunct for years now due to bad stadium attendance and basically being the farm system for the New York Yankees has got to be in better shape than the 36-60 Washington Nationals.

Baseball in our nation's capital? Still sucks.

The Mariners continue to suck

Duh, but at least they got rid of Ritchie Rich.

I'm not a team player

No really, read this article about how much fans that refer to their favorite team as "we" annoys me.

Most experienced fans will skirt around that sort of association with their teams, understanding that their chances of being “we” passed up back when they were in high school and the only team they could make was the one that had positions like the “rook” and “bishop.”

The only time you’ll catch them saying “we” is about three beers into a deep conversation with an opposing fan about somebody’s on-base percentage and their chances of making the postseason. Meanwhile, the person dropping “we” like it’s going to get them into the hottest night club, is using it to refer to how pretty “their” uniforms look.

The biggest perps... Mariner fans. Unless of course you're talking about this season then you get the ol' "oh, I really don't follow baseball" excuse. Ha!

Superdad

Last year my dad decided that he would take part in the 2008 Big Ride Glacier for the American Lung Association.

This was no easy thing to take on. He has trained and logged over 3,000 miles of training this winter and spring.

Well, his adventure started this Sunday.

In addition he was supposed to raise $1,500. Well he surpassed this and raised $1,920. Here is the link to his fund raising site. Click Here.

Donations will still be accepted through August 1st.

Here is the route his trip will be taking him. For a map click here.

Day Location Day mileage Total

Sun Whitefish, Mt to Eureka, Mt 60 60

Mon Eureka, Mt to Blairmore, Ab 92 152

Tue Blairmore, Ab to Waterton Lakes National Park, Ab 70 222

Wed Waterton Lakes – Crypt Lake day hike 15 15

Thur Waterton Lakes National Park, Ab to St. Mary, Mt 50 272

Fri St. Mary, Mt. to West Glacier, Mt 54 326

Sat West Glacier, Mt. to Whitefish, Mt 49 375

Yes, $1,920 and 375 miles for a good cause.

And while I may be bias cause he is my dad, he is a Superdad.

Other people that should have quit when they were ahead...

In honor of Brett Favre un-retiring, and jerking his team around like a self-esteem shattered girlfriend, I've decided to come up with a list of people that should have quit when they were ahead...

1. Napoleon
You had almost all of Europe under control and then you decided to invade Russia. Had you ever looked at a map before invading Russia? That place isn't your normal Austria or Hungry establishment, it's freakin' gigantic and it stretches over Asia. Good call on that one.

2. Ralph Nader
No, you don't get to turn the 1.5 percent of the vote into Chucky Cheese's for prizes. Sorry.

3. Cuba Gooding Jr.
Hanes commercials playing second fiddle to Michael Jordan. Remember when you were Radio?

4. The University of Idaho Football Program
Just give it up already and switch the WCC conference.

5. Adam Morrison's Moustache
Really should have quit that a long time ago, like when it reached it's peak furry-ness at about age 11.

6. The Chicago Cubs
And we all thought Boston Red Sox fans had it bad. If you want to go back to good times at Wrigley, be prepared to start saying things like "I Like Ike" and "You're a square bear."

7. Will Ferrel
Could have done with Anchorman 3, Will, you're not fooling us by changing the theme and putting a different title on it.

8. Jose Conseco
But instead you went ahead and got the crap punched out of you in a celebrity boxing match. Wow, the twilight of your career has really taken on the same arc as ambassadors of the game such as Mark McGuire, Pete Rose and Bill Buckner.

9. Michael Jordan
Washington Wizards... nuff said.

10. Michael Jordan
Exec of the Charlotte Bobcats, with worse talent-seeking skills than Isiah Thomas. Nuff Said.

Chataqua 2008

Chewelah, the small town that I'm from, holds the same event every weekend after the 4th of July that is called Chataqua. Although after going to the event's website I noticed that I couldn't merely just show you a link of what this thing is all about.

Basically for three days, Chewelah becomes a full-out carnival with a bunch of craft booths and vendors all around our city park. Problem is, it's the same stuff every single year. There's always the guy that sells cork guns, the dude that sells sand art bottles, the weird lady that sells pipe cleaner animals and the homeless bum selling crack on the street corner.

Okay, I made that last one up.

But when you've lived in Chewelah for as long as I have (all my childhood), the event tends to loose it's luster after about the 10th year of the same stuff. So now, really I just got to Chataqua to do the follow...

1. See what people from my class got married.
2. See what people from my class got knocked up AND married.
3. See what people from my class for knocked up.
4. See what people from my class got fat but not knocked up.
5. See what people from my class got knocked up and got fat.

This year though, might be the one year I miss it because I have a friend's wedding to go to and a pesky thing I like to call "work." However, if the reading base at Just South of North would like to be part of the Chataqua experience, please shoot me an email or call me at (509) 209-1160 and encourage me to go to my hometown shindig, where I'll more than likely meet a bunch of people that I didn't really want to talk to anyways.

HOWEVER,

If I'm blogging about it and taking photos, it would make it so much better. And plus I'd just stop by the Chewelah Casino.

Finally

The Mariners are finally making some moves. Like getting rid of Richie Sexson. He has performed in years.

Read the full article HERE.

But this Mariners team has dug themselves in such a hole that they need WAY more help than just this.

Epic Video: Rick Rolled

Don't worry New York Times. It happens to the best of us. Even Mr. Burns.

Epic Video: NY Times punked by EWU student

Oh Pawly P.

Way to make the New York Times look like idiots. Well, and you have got to be the best interview ever. Not sure this deserved a whole 4:30 minutes during the news cast, must have been a slow news day.

Also, watch at 3:30. I love how the reporter is just throwing a theory out there with no proof. Maybe he should work for the New York Times.

Just watch.

How about this baseball season?

Who's ready for some thrilling suicide squeeze plays and sacrifice flies for the 2008 Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium? I know I am!

Ladies and Gentlemen, take a good look at that photo above because that's exactly where baseball is headed. No, Ty Cobb isn't getting cloned and resurrected (as much as he would like it) but get ready for another "Dead Ball" era.

Has anyone taken a gander at the 2008 Home Run Derby roster? They'd better bring the walls in.

To the infield. And make Ryan Howard bat with just one arm.

I'm not sure exactly how it happened but home runs and general offense in baseball seem down. I'm sure there's something behind it... hmmmm, cough steroids cough... like the weather or something.

How else do you explain the Tampa Bay Rays being so good? It's because they've been the only clean team in baseball for the past ten years and now apparently they've also been the best clean team in baseball for the past ten years as well.

Gonzalez saves man's life

Tony Gonzalez, the Kansas City Chiefs Pro Bowl tight end saved a mans life.

Ken Hunter was choking and Gonzalez preformed the Heimlich on him.

Here's the full article.

I just found this too be great. While most of the media is consumed with the bad things major league players are doing, it is good to see that there are still those that just do what needs to be done.

Oh, and Hunter, a lifelong Chargers fan is now a Gonzalez fan.

Hunter is a lifelong fan of the San Diego Chargers, one of Kansas City's key rivals in the AFC West, and plans to be at the game when the Chiefs visit the Chargers on Nov. 9.

"I'm Tony's No. 1 fan now," he said.

And what will this longtime follower of the Chargers do if they're ahead by four or five points in the final minute and Gonzalez runs into the end zone and leaps up for what would be the game-winning touchdown for K.C.?

"I'm going to be yelling for Tony to catch the ball," Hunter said. "I think all my friends will understand."

"That" Bar Guy

I've been sampling the Spokane nightlife the past couple of nights and one thing is apparent, "That" Bar Guy has recently found a comeback in numbers rivaling the resurgence of the Grey Wolf in Montana. So if you'd to avoid having your evening "douched-up" than I highly recommend you avoid these people.


That guy that tries to pick fights with anyone he can


Instead of going to the bar to get laid, which he desperately needs to do, he instead stands at the urinal in the bar bathroom looking for somebody to pick a fight with. If that person so much as coughs funny, this guy immediately goes to "Homophobia Deathcon 3" in which case he follows the perpetrator out to his large group of friends and starts yelling "that guy in the red shirt is trying to start some shit."


However, this guy in all of his douchebaggery, usually picks the most laid back and easy-going group of the bunch who happens to be wearing a red shirt, causing his friends to give this guy the "I hope Rosanna Barr sits on your f---ing head someday" look.


Keep in mind this guy is usually around 40 years old, balder than Gary Payton (except for the sides) and dates 16-year old girls.


That guy that dances by himself... alot.


His unfortunate attraction to music has led him to try and "Save the Last Dance." Problem is, nobody wants to dance with him and his moves look like something out of the Chris Farley/Patrick Swayze Chippendales skit.


And then when he tries to pull out the in-air spin moves, the facade of his fedora/wifebeater/tap shoes falls straight through the floor.


That guy that takes of his shirt to ride the mechanical bull


...and throws it directly on that guy that tries to pick fights with anyone he can.


That guy that has a popped collar and tan that would make an Oompa Loompa jealous


But who cares if no girls want to dance with us. There's 20 of us brosephs here and we're having the time of our lives. HIGH FIVE!!!

That guy who's apparently sunburned because his frail ginger skin can't handle the summer sun

Avoid at all costs.

Epic Video: Flag Makeover

Happy 4th of July everybody! This is from Barats and Bereta. If you haven't heard of these Gonzaga graduates check them out at there site HERE.

This skit is about giving the flag a makeover. (in case you couldn't tell by the title)

Clay Bennett, go to hell

Casey already broke the story about the Sonics moving but after seeing the press conference about the team moving on SportsCenter, I can officially say this is the worst sports day of my life.

Not the day when I got cut from the freshman baseball team in high school (at a 2A school by the way) in favor for the kid that caught the ball with his chest instead of his glove.

Not the day our JV football team wrapped up a delightful 1-11 season.

Not the day the Eastern Washington Eagles lost in the closing seconds of the Div. I-AA second-round playoff game against Sam Houston State.

The Sonics were the first team I ever followed, and even though I jumped ship a couple months ago when it was inevitable that the team would be moving, it was still painful to hear the announcement.

Hopefully Oklahoma City enjoys ripping a Seattle-landmark from the Northwest and making it their own team. There won't be another team that I will hate more now. Shoot, I'm going to start kicking back with Montana Grizzly fans, drink a couple beers and come up with new ways to rhyme Clay Bennett's name with genitalia.

Bye bye Sonics

Well, goodbye Supersonics. It's been nice knowing. Clay Bennett, not so much.

Here's the full story.

But at least they will be leaving the name, logo, colors and championship banners in Seattle. That is perhaps the only good thing that came out of this.

If you do go to the article, read the commits left by the citizens of Oklahoma City. Or at least the fans of the new team. Yeah, seems to be a very classy city. Very classy.

Epic Video: The Office

Just bought the third season of The Office. One of the greatest shows on television. Here are some of the best pranks Jim has pulled on Dwight.

If you haven't watched this show, I highly recommend it.

SOLD to Dr. Pepper

Yes, the Tampa Bay Rays are on top of the power rankings. Yes they are winning. And yes, many sports writers are saying they are for real.

But remember. This is Major League Baseball. They play about a billion games.

The season isn't half over, so there is a lot that can happen. Sure, maybe come October I'll be writing about how good the Rays are, but we will see.


A cat fish in Berlin, Germany choked to death after trying to eat a soccer ball in the locks of a Bavarian canal.

The cat was 6 1/2 feet long and was found floating on the surface with the ball in its mouth.

That is a big fish!


A bride auctioned off a chance to be a bridesmaid and Dr. Pepper won.

Kelly Gray put the idea up on Ebay with a starting bid of 1 cent.

They decided that, not only would the winner get the chance to be in Kelly's wedding, they'd also receive a dress and shoes, as well as an invitation, plus one, to the reception. If a man happened to be the winner, they'd supply the tuxedo.

Dr. Pepper Snapple won at $5,700 but then increase to $10,000.

Along with providing the beverages for the April 19, 2009 wedding, the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group will choose Kelly's bridesmaid. When asked who they'd like to fill the role, Gray and her bridesmaids agreed, Ellen DeGeneres would make a perfect choice. A smiling Gray explained, DeGeneres "would dance and have fun...I could see her dancing down the aisle."

Yeah, I am so down with doing this.